[ShadowSoldier]

Does anyone know if this has anything to do with dissociation?

do you mean split personality? (I didn't see any other things in your message), nad was expecting something above the question.

but yes...... yes it does

[ShadowSoldier]

I just don't know who or what I am anymore...

Its not distressing me or anything because I've realised that its always been this way but I need to learn how to calm the angry one because it almost destroyed me recently...

I've also just realised how confusing this must be for the people who I work with.

Originally Posted by ShadowSoldier

I just don't know who or what I am anymore...

Its not distressing me or anything because I've realised that its always been this way but I need to learn how to calm the angry one because it almost destroyed me recently...

I've also just realised how confusing this must be for the people who I work with.

this is certainly the right place to post about it if you want to vent (either in this thread or start a new one with the situation)

we're listening

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ShadowSoldier

Does anyone know if this has anything to do with dissociation?

short answer no split personality has nothing to do with dissociation.

longer answer. its a bit hard to explain but i will try...

split personality means a person thoughts and beliefs and behaviors are in focusing on either all good or all bad. they dont see things as being / having both pros and cons / positive and negatives. depending upon what they choose to focus on.

example a parent is both good and bad. they have to balance being a the fun mom and the set down boundaries/ rules, taking care of the child.

a child with split personality problems would see the mom as all good or all bad, no middle ground. dispite the parent playing a game with them and taking them to a playground the person may focus instead on all the things the person didnt like about their parent... such as thinking that veggie they had to eat when they didnt want to, the parent made them do their homework instead of watch tve, go to bed too early ...

focusing on all negatives or all positives never seeing both at the same time in everything. there are special therapies to help a person who has polorized (black and white or more commonly known separating people places things events into good and evil)

your treatment provider can explain more about how and why this is no longer called a dissociative disorder here in the USA.

[Michael W. Harris]

Originally Posted by ShadowSoldier

Does anyone know if this has anything to do with dissociation?

From my understanding, "split-personality" was the original name for multiple personality. Some one else may have already said this. I need to finish reading all the post before I comment. I will do that now.

[Amyjay]

I think most people generally use the term "split personality" to express their understanding of multiple personality disorder, such as it is. It is a laymans term rather than a medical one and isn't either accurate or generally appropriate. But yes, when people use it they tend to be referring to what is now known as dissociative disorders.

Idk, when I hear ‘split personality’ in common talk, I think of having only two contrasting personalities: like someone with borderline personality disorder having black/white or love/hate thinking. They are the same person, but with two opposite set of thinking and being.

Often times when one is being described with more complex personality changes, I’ve often heard multiple personalities used in common talk.

And yes, I’ve heard of multiples described as having a split personality- but that term seems so archaic and clinically cold.

But, with all that said, are you in therapy shadow? Anger management courses?

I’ve learned what it feels like when the Angry One gets triggered, so before it erupts, I do some calming exercises like slow controlled breathing, turning around and walking away, reformat my thinking as to what generally triggers is not deemed as important to me as before....like calling us a name used to incite us, but now we just blow it off and chalk it up to the person’s lack of mental aptitude which takes the sting off the trigger.

I won’t call it control, but a way to avoid the trigger from happening, building pathways and options around the trigger instead of the one path that always dead ends to it.

[ShadowSoldier]

Yes I get it's poor use of terminology. I'm just trying to work out what is going on with me.

I feel feel fragmented.

Originally Posted by ShadowSoldier

Yes I get it's poor use of terminology. I'm just trying to work out what is going on with me.

I feel feel fragmented.

Awww, I just added more to my post, please read.

[ShadowSoldier]

I'm not getting therapy at the moment. I have thought about it but I just keep remembering what therapy was like in the past and the therapists always give up on me because she can't talk.

[ShadowSoldier]

The angry one gets frustrated because he can see the sides of people that he thinks no one else can see...he sees that no one wants to listen so he just gets more and more angry...

She tries to see reason and tells him to stop...she keeps telling him but he's far to strong.

He really hurts her and he makes her want to hurt herself because she just wants him to stop.

After he does stop it all feels like a dream and she's at the front again.

She feels no remorse for the harm he's caused people because it wasn't her and although she can sort of remember it all it's like a distant memory that doesn't quite seem real.

--------

The above is what it's like for me...

[Amyjay]

Therapy for dissociative disorders has come a long way. Trauma therapists are getting much better at supporting people who have had extensive trauma histories and have dissociative disorders, so it might be worth giving therapy another shot.
I have a good trauma therapist who uses internal family systems (IFS) to help me work with the different parts of my system... like we have a part that tries to not let anyone talk, and parts that want to talk, and parts that want to punish ones that try to talk and other parts that make us feel like nothing is real and it is all a lie etc. All of these different parts have important jobs that were all a part of trying to keep us safe... but their jobs just make life and therapy and trying to tell a bit confusing now.
Anyway, our therapist uses IFS to help us work with all of these different parts and find ways to talk with them and work together in a cooperative way.
We find it helpful (but it is hard work) and we are making progress slowly but surely. So maybe therapy with a trained trauma therapist might be worth another go for you?