[WePow]

Ok fellow DID folks... I am wondering about something. My T keeps telling me I have shame issues related to the abuse. But I do not feel shame. However, I did find out in my last session that one of my alters did make me feel humiliated when she was sharing all sorts of stuff that I had not decided to share yet. That sent me into a two day crisis of sorts.

I have been thinking alot about it and shame is a feeling against the self, but humiliation is a feeling that another has done something to make you look bad. For me, it is indeed humiliation and not shame.

Has anyone else had this type of problem or know of any resources that address this particular part of DID?

[reg12]

Hi. Shame and guilt are normally associated with DID. The survivors often blames themselves. This most often is caused by the actions of the attacker. Depending upon your age, some of the symtoms may not occur at this time. You know what you are feeling, so go with what you feel. Take care.

[reg12]

Originally Posted by wpowers

Ok fellow DID folks... I am wondering about something. My T keeps telling me I have shame issues related to the abuse. But I do not feel shame. However, I did find out in my last session that one of my alters did make me feel humiliated when she was sharing all sorts of stuff that I had not decided to share yet. That sent me into a two day crisis of sorts.

I have been thinking alot about it and shame is a feeling against the self, but humiliation is a feeling that another has done something to make you look bad. For me, it is indeed humiliation and not shame.

Has anyone else had this type of problem or know of any resources that address this particular part of DID?

Hi. Shame, guilt and humiliation are normal symptoms associated with DID. The survivors usually blame themselves, which is caused by their attacker. You know what you feel, so stick with it. Take care.

[dreamland]

I'm sorry that I don't really know what to say except we care
I think for us these two get very mixed up.
take good care
~dreamland

[multipixie9]

Wpowers,

No one in this mixed-up world avoids experiencing humiliation or shame.

The proper experience of guilt is society's way of enforcing core beliefs and monitoring large grups of people who must share food, medical suplies and all other amenities.

Shame and humiliation are often used in wrong ways to control and dominate others. Society has to have rules and penalties for breaking them or chaos would cause civilization to break down into anarchy. History has given plenty of examples of this. Just look up the word dictator in wikipedia and you have enough material to prove what I'm saying. It is morally wrong to coerce people through domination, humiliation and shame. It is equally wrong to allow society to break down into a hedonistic place whose motto is "If it feels good, do it".Without some kind of moral compass and ethical boundaries life will devolve back into barbarism. Look around, read independant news sources and it will send a chill up your spine at how close we are coming to anarchy.

I did not intend to turn this into some kind of school lecture when you are asking for personal insight and experience. As a child I often experienced adults and other children use shaming techniques to get their own way or dominate in a group.

I believe we are built with the capacity to learn our society's rules and the consequences for breaking them. Children who are treated cruelly and broken down by abuse have intense feelings of shame and humiliation somewhere inside. Different parts may express these feelings differently and some may rigidly suppres them to avoid re-experiencing unfair treatment, cruelty and degredation from multiple kinds of abuse.

When I was little I stole 15 cents from a friend and I felt guilt because I was old enough to know stealing is wrong. Only a year or so later I left the schoolroom before school started, believing it was ok as I saw someone else do so. When I got back the teacher verbally humiliated me, sent me to stand in the corner and subjected me to some weird mind game that I won't bore you with. Unless a person is mentally impaired and can't grasp the concepts of right and wrong we all know when we are "guilty" and feel personal shame. Humiliation and harsh shaming are weapons used to intimidate and control people wrongly.

I think it can be harder to deal with these issues when a person has dissociation. It means that one has to survive early cruelty or trauma or personal tragedy. I'm not saying that gives one an "out" concerning one's life or behavior. It just makes it harder to sort through all that has happened and figure out how to survive.