[moonrise]

My old therapist, whom I had seen for a period of close to 3 years (2 1/2 years, then a break for about 6 years, then recently for about 3 months), was convinced I had DID. I wasn't so sure. She referred me on to a new therapist who supposedly had experience with dissociative disorders (turns out this is not the case). New T is a pdoc who does therapy. She's good, but very different than old T.

New T diagnosed me with depersonalization, which I don't think fits the bill either. I think it's more than that, less than full DID.

New T seems very uncomfortable when I dissociate, or get feeling angry, or small. I spend much of my session trying to hide what goes on in my head. She reacts best when I'm 'present', my logical sensible self. Not when I am scared, or angry.

Old T discovered that there were things I could talk about when I dissociated that I couldn't when I didn't. When she referred me, we were finally getting to some of the tough stuff.

I don't know what I am. I feel fake quite often when I'm with my new T, but it's safer than wondering what she was thinking when I would let out what really went on in my head.

Thanks if you've read this far. I'm sort of scared to even post this.

[WePow]

Safe hugs to you. I suggest always trying to be as honest as you can. It sounds like you are trying your best to do that.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( moonrise )))))))))))

[peaches100]

Hi Moonrise,

I think my dissociation may be at the level yours is: not DID, but definite dissociation. With me, I'm aware of my other self parts. So I'm guessing it is something like DDNOS, Complex PTSD, or co-conscious DID. My diagnosis is Complex PTSD.

It sounds like your old t understood dissociation better than your new t. I'm guessing your new t doesn't know much about it and is not sure what to do when you dissociate. Are you sure this new t is the right one for you? Somehow, it doesn't seem healthy if you have to keep your self parts and their reactions hidden from her. It's usually those very parts that are holding onto our pain and need to heal.

I'm wondering why you stoped seeing old t, since she sounded like she was more the type of t you need to help you heal???

(((((((( Moonrise )))))))))
Your new T doesn't seem like a safe person to work with. I get the sense that she's making you deny parts of you and your feelings, and that's not helpful. This may be why you feel fake when you're with your new T.

[Fox]

Perhaps you can talk to your old T and explain that the new T isn't very helpful, if you can return to your old T it may prove helpful since your scared and angry parts are comfortable with her and can talk to her about what's troubling them. I wish you the best and hope that in time you will find a T that really helps and gives you the confidence you need to succeed.

[reg12]

Hello moonrise,
It is very common for different professionals to disagree on the diagnosis. I personally checked with over 80 Ts and PDOCs in one city and found two that would even work with someone with DID. Of the two, only one really seemed to understand DID. Unfortunately some do not believe it even exists. If you meet the full criteria for DID, then I would assume that is what they should be helping you with.

If the new T is uncomfortable working with you when you dissociate and wants to stay in the present, it sound to me like you are correct with being uncomfortable with her. That is what you are in there for. One of the other people suggested checking back with your old T. Sound like a good idea. You must be comfortable or they will not be able to help you correctly.

Thank you for writing here. I like the others are here to help one another if we can. Please do not be afraid. You are among friends.

Originally Posted by moonrise

My old therapist, whom I had seen for a period of close to 3 years (2 1/2 years, then a break for about 6 years, then recently for about 3 months), was convinced I had DID. I wasn't so sure. She referred me on to a new therapist who supposedly had experience with dissociative disorders (turns out this is not the case). New T is a pdoc who does therapy. She's good, but very different than old T.

New T diagnosed me with depersonalization, which I don't think fits the bill either. I think it's more than that, less than full DID.

New T seems very uncomfortable when I dissociate, or get feeling angry, or small. I spend much of my session trying to hide what goes on in my head. She reacts best when I'm 'present', my logical sensible self. Not when I am scared, or angry.

Old T discovered that there were things I could talk about when I dissociated that I couldn't when I didn't. When she referred me, we were finally getting to some of the tough stuff.

I don't know what I am. I feel fake quite often when I'm with my new T, but it's safer than wondering what she was thinking when I would let out what really went on in my head.

Thanks if you've read this far. I'm sort of scared to even post this.