Dumped by our therapist.

Dumped by our therapist. Don’t understand and very upset. Pdoc who is also our therapist dumped us after 1 and ½ years. It was unexpected and shocking to all of us. She was cold and distant, handed us a pink sticky with 3 referrals and said, “I’m referring you.” We asked her why over and over and all she kept saying “we’re not a good fit.” OMG…after 1 and ½ years she says we’re not a good fit??? We begged her not to let us go and we cried and we begged some more. She didn't react and just sat there staring at us. She called the night before and asked us to bring our meds but didn’t say why so we just thought she was checking on how many we have left. She took them and said we couldn’t have them til we got a prescription from a new pdoc. She said that was to keep us safe. She didn’t give us any info on places to go or call if we were suicidal or needed help. She did this the day before Thanksgiving and we had to go through the weekend with no meds. It’s all so traumatic. No closure for the kids or anyone. And, as you can guess, all of us loved her so much and that makes it hurt all the more. Luckily we had some old Ativan in the cupboard and have been using that. Our Thanksgiving was spoiled and everyone inside is crying and doesn’t understand why and so many are trying to blame themselves. Our whole system is confused and chaotic. We don’t want to start over with anyone because a big trust has been broken and no one wants to go through starting over again. I think we deserve more than that. We were good clients, never missed an appointment, always on time and paid up front. If an alter made her angry she should have talked about it with us. I don't understand and no one does. It just hurts so much. We need some advice and some hugs from people who understand and care. Thanks for listening.

Alterboy

((((((((Alterboy)))))))) This has happened to us in the past. May you find safety and hope here in PC world.
"May I never be judge until you walk a mile in my shoes"
we were not there so we can not say what happened but know you are not alone. from all of us to all your parts

Oh, that's rotten! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope eventually you will be able to get a new therapist, but in the meantime, please take good care.

{hugs alterboy} I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is without guidance. Please take good care of yourself.

I am so sorry she did this to you......I know that Dr's always feel that they have a very good, logical reason for dropping us......but they never are completely honest in explaining that reason. I think sometimes if they didn't gloss it over with the "we aren't a good fit" excuse & really explained, we would be able to grow from the painful experience rather than just suffer.

The only thing that I have experienced when things like this happen is that I usually end up with someone even better & even more capable, & I am really better off than I would have been staying with them.

I know it's a lot of work finding a new Dr, expecially someone who specializes in handling alters.....let alone how scarry it is to start all over again......What a horrible experience especially at Thanksgiving.

Try to look on the bright side.....that in the long run, you will be better of, you will find someone even better...someone who really cares about you as you have found that she really didn't or she wouldn't have treated you in the way she did.

I know I had one pdoc when I was very suicidal that said one more attempt & he would not treat me any more.....but he let me know where he stood long before he ended his treatment with me.....to not even say anything is not a sign of a good pdoc/psychologist.

Know you will find someone even better who will really help you this time.

Wishing you the best in your search,
eskielover

Sending you safe hugs. And hugs and lollipops for the littles who would like one. Bless your heart. Man... people deserve to be treated better than that. Stay sane and stay safe inside your system. It is not going to be easy for you. But you can make it through. Draw on those internal resources. And consider seriously that it may not have anything at all to do with you. It might be the doc did not know how to deal with DID and could have gotten into trouble by a supervisor of some sort for being in over her head. That DOES happen. But they are usually too embarised to admit it. Patients end up thinking it is their fault when nothing could be further from the truth!!!

Prehaps they thought they thought they had helped you as much as they knew how.

I've had to move on to other therapist. Currently not seeing one.....
For me it just doesn't work out with them.

Without medication for the weekend even a day - I can not comprend that!!!

I am amazed a competent therapist would leave you without meds or a p doc so suddenly. You could have been really sick without your meds. It's bad enough that she "dumped" you but the way she handled it, IMO is unethical. I hope you find someone much better, very quickly.

that happened to us a few times. Make everyone want to be cry. Hugs for you and i think one of the big should report doc. Not good at all.

That really stinks, I'm so sorry. Hoping you find someone better soon

very sorry this happened to you. we've been dumped by medical docs and mistreated by a pdoc and it was unexplained and i was left with the feelings of rejection and abandonment when i felt so needy and broken.

i don't suppose it is really any big comfort to know that it has happened to a lot of us, but i believe that there are many so-called professionals who bail when things get rough or when they feel uncomfortable with the depth of our wounds and needs.

it always sucks big time. i just wish this had been handled in a professional and compassionate manner. it is inexcusable to "dump" a patient and even more so to jerk someone off of medications abruptly when so many psych meds must be weaned off to get off them SAFELY!!!!! plus, you had paid for those meds and they were yours. unless she gave them to you herself she had NO right to confiscate them.

after many difficulties i came to the therapist who has treated me for the last 15 years and she has refused to give up on me and has done more to help me than anyone ever.

please just do not give up hope - that just lets the jerks win.

Alterboy, that makes me sad and mad that your T would do this to you. She should have at least told you why. I hope and pray you find a new T that will be able to comfort you and help you feel better inside.

alterboy

i'm real sorry this happened. i know all of you must be hurting. i can't make it better but i can tell you i care about all of you and send you a big hug.

lenny

I think what your t did was unethical, and i would be just as upset as you are!!! I would contact her again and tell her you need to work with her toward closure, and not just be suddenly sent off! Most patients when they are going to terminate use the last several sessions to sum up the progress that has been made in therapy and prepare for termination. They don't just get cut off like that! I also would let her know her reason for referring you because, without such information, you are blaming yourself. I don't think she is handling this situation well and that it is damaging to you. I am so sorry you're feeling this pain. I can only imagine how awful it must feel. Safe hugs from me if you want them. I care!

Alterboy…

I’m so sorry you had to go through an unexpected termination and that it caused you and your alters so much pain and suffering. Your therapist’s lack of compassion and understanding is difficult to understand, particularly after being in her care for such a long time. I believe she does owe you an explanation so that you can find some closure. I suggest you contact her and try to find out her reason for terminating with you. You might mention that she did not provide pretermination counseling which is required by the American Psychological Association.

Separating from a therapist is difficult and a good therapist will help make the transition as easy as possible, often spreading it over several sessions. A gradual transition allows for discussing progress, processing feelings and emotions and helping plan for post therapy. Your post indicates that your therapist did not follow all of the requirements of the American Psychological Association and therefore acted unethically. You have a right to file a complaint.

Here is the American Psychological Association (APA) ethics website:

http://www.apa.org/ethics/code2002.html

10.10 Terminating Therapy
(a) Psychologists terminate therapy when it becomes reasonably clear that the client/patient no longer needs the service, is not likely to benefit, or is being harmed by continued service.

(b) Psychologists may terminate therapy when threatened or otherwise endangered by the client/patient or another person with whom the client/patient has a relationship.

(c) Except where precluded by the actions of clients/patients or third-party payors, prior to termination psychologists provide pretermination counseling and suggest alternative service providers as appropriate."

Since she did not provide pretermination counseling, she acted unethically.

Re: filing a complaint: You will need to contact the Medical Board for the state in which you live. The website will give you information on how to file a complaint. Remember that these boards are made of physicians and likely feel a professional and personal affinity towards their colleagues. So, they probably aren’t very effective in monitoring or disciplining their contemporaries. But, for your own satisfaction, file a complaint. They do have to investigate and let you know the outcome.

It will take time to work through this unfortunate event. Please use all the support you have with friends, family and other means; and, continue to post here on PC where you have many friends, get good advice and super support. And, don't forget to get support from the chat rooms.

Take care of you and yours…

RR

Thanks to all who replied to my post and offered their support, encouragement and hugs. This is a very difficult time for all of us and right now no one wants to even think about getting another therapist. It will take a long time to get past this hurt.

Hugs and support are still very welcome.

Thanks!

Alterboy