[Hunny]

Just trying to come to terms with this concept and seeing that there could be some differences and would like those differences to be respected. Some people are determined with some dissociation at 20 years old, some 30, some 40 and some 50, some at 60 and some at 70 or more maybe.

So, if you are older obviously, there is more memories, perhaps alters and just plain stuff.

Having tried many coping mechanisms over the years was fine but we say the best perhaps would have been to get early diagnosis, not wrong diagnosis but a recognition of dissociation early. It's not the label that makes the difference for me though, it's the subsequent help that makes the difference!

If this process is caught earlier you will not be in my kind of 'boat' with all kinds of complicated and confusing memories to wade through.

What I want to address too, though, is the person who is 60 or 70 who has no one to hear because they are old and their life isn't worth taking seriously. Also, because if we involve ourselves with them we are consider being enmeshed.

There was a person recently that I felt fit this category. They had all our symptoms, well many I/we have and many some of you have talked about and this person didn't get taken seriously for what it might be. Did we think she should have known better? What if she just has always had been falling through the cracks, like me, at fifty? It makes my heart so sad.

It brought up the memory of my husband's cousin and a great uncle who probably had this happen to them but they died by their own hands. I feel so helpless that I was not able to help, at the very least, my cousin-in-law. She was only 45 or so, had been terribly abused and was in a terrible relationship. Yes, it was never told to me about these things till later but they called me to visit with her in a psych unit, in hopes that in my spiritual walk perhaps I could give her hope. I didn't even know she had tried 14 times before or that she even was there for that reason. I think it was everyone elses' last hope. I did not measure up. I am a twelve-step-person and know that this is 'stinking thinking' but there you have it. If not me? then who?

I speak to myself for not being there to help her more and let me off the hook. But what about my great uncle? He had no-one left...his two daughters, one a nurse and his wife had all died.

Well, these memories came flooding back. I blurted my numbness, anger and sadness out in a DD chat and email my Therapists and I have to work almost all days for next two weeks so I/we am distracted with Christmas in there too. But what about these others that have no-one. I call out to them if they are reading this and say help is coming. Please hold-on.

And whilst I am here ranting, what about those ones we misunderstood this year, our inner parts and some others here on DD Forum who are gone. I say sorry to them and ask for them to come back, please. We care, no matter how screwed up I/we are. (Oh, 10 years of therapy and 60 years old, hence 10 years for 50)

Sincerely,

[anderson]

((((Hunny)))) You did good sharing. We sorry for your family. but also realize that you do measure up. A person must want help in order to receive it and we can not give that which we are unable to give ourselves. May the Great Spirit comfort you and give you peace of heart .

[kasva]

((((Hunny)))......you have such agood heart. You are perfect just the way you are. i worry about others too..which i think is good to do what you can.....butwe can only do what we can. oh how i wish we could make the world treat people better so people don't feel so alone.argg...anyways be kind to yourself because you are so kind.i think iwould be 12 years for 37?...maybe.....................take care..............kasva

[writingwithink]

Hunny,

I wish I could have just an ounce of the compassion you possess.

Peace,
writing

[WePow]

(((((((((((((( hunny ))))))))))))))