[anderson]

……The master no longer says: “You shall think as I do or you shall die”; but he says: “You shall be free to think differently from me and to retain your life, your property, and all that your possess; but you are henceforth a stranger among your people . . . . Your fellow creatures will shun you like an impure being; and even those who believe in your innocence will abandon you, lest they should be shunned in their turn.”
---ALEXIS de TOCQUEVILLE (1835)
I can only cry now. For all the things that we had to endure just for the sack of a few to make a name for themselves. To live in a world where the abuser can have the power to prove what they say is true or even just be able to say something and have it be taken at face value. We live in a world where gossip is held true until proven wrong. But in the legal system you have to have physical evidence to put a man or women to death. This is so backwards to me. The quote above really fit me. Because I was unwilling to sit back and be what the mental health wanted me to be. I fought to get out of the dark valley of poverty. I could and was willing to do the work that proved that I could do the work and that my DID was a functioning crew until someone found out how to use the triggers that made us have black out periods of time. When they could not prove that my work was faulty that was when they used my PSTD reactions against me/us. Even with all the stress issues I was able to keep a job up until 3 years ago that was when a group of people started to use my triggers against me then I was told by management that I was being to sensitive to what others where doing to the body. God, I wonder why life has to be hard for those that are different from others but it is. WE once had a credit score rating over 700, but when you can’t work because you are afraid that someone is going to use a trigger that makes you switch then you have to make a choice that was when I decided that all we had to do is endure what was happening to us until Our son became of age that we known that those that had power over the placement of our son could not make him go back to my family of origin.
Now what really gets me is all that we have waited for has come to pass and being a true multiple being now we are fighting inside because some do not want to leave our son and plus some of the yahoo’s convinced most of the alters that if we leave town that we will be an open target for others to hurt us. We are truly a mixed up crew inside. Each group has their own answer but at the moment no one is willing to compromise. At this point in time we are just like the Senate and congress trying to get a working solution, but still lost in all the debate of the should and could’ve.
The people in real life that are trying to help us can’t understand that what we really want because we have no trust left is not the answer for just a few but for all of us. Because they would not accept what we kept asking for all those times and all the lies that they told us being justified by telling themselves it alright she will switch and all will be forgotten. They never once thought that those that where outside the body where the ones lying. Now that my so can not even be accepted by others unless we have nothing to do with him. They wonder why we are so depressed. Only a fool will continue going to the people that said that they would help then turn their backs on you so many times. We want to be free of all of this but due to all the programming that my internal parts have had to endure we are at a grid lock. How can a kind word , a kind smile alone replace all that I had lost to lies and bigotry of those that hurt us and ruined my faith in the ones that I had thought would believe in us. We would tell them continually
“Bigotry does not discriminate, it hates and destroys everything in its path”
But when you are the one living in a black hole created by bigotry, I guess we where just being to sensitive and that we need to come to terms that we where not worthy of a hope of a future. That it was just our fate to be the publics new toy and source of entertainment. Now that I am not willing to play and just sit on a log, all we are doing is waiting for the door to open to be able to do something that will not leave us open to more abuse but can they understand that I guess not, I guess that they are waiting for us to switch so that the game can start again. The one thing that I have learned is now I do not have to endure that which they want me to. But it sit and wait for an opportunity to come so that I can be free of this BS that they have chosen to make my life. We meant what we said in the past post. The quote from Tiger Wood’s “It will not be in my words that I will show my change of heart but in my actions That I will prove my self.” Because of the choices that these people have made I have lost my ability to work and feel safe from attack form those around me both male and female alike. Because of my fear I could not longer even function at work. But that is alright I was repeatedly told because that was who I was. My purpose was to entertainer the coworkers and not be compensated by those that used me. We lost every thing but that does not matter because I had a mental health issues and Had all these people saying things about us. It was alright that we did not work it was alright that we lost everything even our son because we would switch and not remember the pain and the suffering that these people had caused us. WE all as human beings have the right to a life with out pain and suffering from those around you. But Bigotry has a way of signaling out the different to all those that chose to, to take their own pain and anger of what is out on the ones that have no home or family to call their own. The witch for this month is we have no income, and we have a car payment and insurance payment that is coming due. We are trying to turn this over to God but we have turned over so much and we had to learn to let go because we were not willing to endure more abuse. Now we are asking our selves do we try to go back to work or do we even let the truck go and start living all the way on the street because no one want to help or be seen with someone that is talked about so much in whispers but not willing to let go. Some one is still telling my parts that we need to stay and what ever the control is it is keeping us here. But we still living in our truck with no one to sit and talk to face to face. Now those with in are still wondering which and who has so much control but not will to help provide a safe place for us in the real world. It just totally floors those of us that are free how we still can have parts that are still so controlled by some source outside or even have alters that are to afraid of the past to move on. Either way we still can not move forwards until what ever it is worked through but we still question at what price? What more do we have to endure just to told we are not fit to live in the main group of community? Life is not easy but at times we still need a life vest. Those here gave us a life vest now can the man upstairs give us one here in the real world tooo?

[Hunny]

Anderson:

How long do you keep trying to tell them the truth of the matter?

You keep strong, little friend but take to shelter when and where you can and where and when you need to. Perhaps the time is getting close when you need to find the help (the real fire and the real sun) elsewhere? Search in another town or city for a therapist who 'knows'. There is only so much you can do for your son but better to be alive living elsewhere than not be at all.

An illustration.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=134116

Love
Hunny


.

[anderson]

Thank You Hunny for the life boat. To that question I do not know? but the platos cave did hit home to all of us and gave us some peace thank you.

Originally Posted by Hunny

Anderson:

How long do you keep trying to tell them the truth of the matter?

You keep strong, little friend but take to shelter when and where you can and where and when you need to. Perhaps the time is getting close when you need to find the help (the real fire and the real sun) elsewhere? Search in another town or city for a therapist who 'knows'. There is only so much you can do for your son but better to be alive living elsewhere than not be at all.

An illustration.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=134116

Love
Hunny


.