[anderson]

“Every family should extend First Amendment rights to all its members, but this freedom is particularly essential for our kids. Children must be able to say what they think, openly express their feelings, and ask for what they need if they are able to develop an integrated sense of self.
----STEPHINIE MARSTON
“In a democratic family, those with superior knowledge and resources (I.e. power) use them to strengthen others in the family. In an authoritarian family, power is used to “tame” and control others.
----LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN
We were reading quotes again and these two stood out for us. During our healing and growing we try to do things that give us peace inside. For some of us it is reading words that validate who we are. Our biological family was very authoritarian none of us was given the right to speak our truth in public unless we wanted to face the consequence of abuse from our father. Our foster family was a true democratic family. This family gave us the ability to heal and grow. This family had the ability to untrained me/us from the indoctrinated that was given to us the first 5 years of my life. This family not only taught us to value all within but also gave us the knowledge to heal from the abuse that we had to endure later in our life. The quotes above sum up in just a few words just what we do to help each other heal from the abuse of other. Plus allow you to see the difference in how we choice to handle each other. At times we wish that we could be more authoritive in making choice but in the end we do help each other to heal and grow. Each of us has given the other special gift of life and hope now to get to the point where all of us in the present so that we can enjoy the gift of life and friendships with those that have accepted us.

[justdontknow]

Anderson,

I think these quotes are just awesome!! With our inner family we all make decisions together. The little ones are even present to give their vote (our youngest is 2 and she usually just raises her hand whenever anyone else raises their hand, so this usually means that she votes more than once ). We have two inside that are very special. They are 9 year old twins and do not have words. Usually they are in their own world, but when it comes to important decisions or important rituals, they are always included. Whenever there is a decision to be made they are part of the family meeting even though we know that they will probably not be able to communicate with us. I just wanted to share that with you because I think that no matter how young a person is or how disabled they may be, they are still human and have a right to voice their opinions and suggestions if they can or want to. I was just thrilled to see those quotes that you found. Thank you for that!

Faith

Originally Posted by anderson

“Every family should extend First Amendment rights to all its members, but this freedom is particularly essential for our kids. Children must be able to say what they think, openly express their feelings, and ask for what they need if they are able to develop an integrated sense of self.
----STEPHINIE MARSTON
“In a democratic family, those with superior knowledge and resources (I.e. power) use them to strengthen others in the family. In an authoritarian family, power is used to “tame” and control others.
----LETTY COTTIN POGREBIN
We were reading quotes again and these two stood out for us. During our healing and growing we try to do things that give us peace inside. For some of us it is reading words that validate who we are. Our biological family was very authoritarian none of us was given the right to speak our truth in public unless we wanted to face the consequence of abuse from our father. Our foster family was a true democratic family. This family gave us the ability to heal and grow. This family had the ability to untrained me/us from the indoctrinated that was given to us the first 5 years of my life. This family not only taught us to value all within but also gave us the knowledge to heal from the abuse that we had to endure later in our life. The quotes above sum up in just a few words just what we do to help each other heal from the abuse of other. Plus allow you to see the difference in how we choice to handle each other. At times we wish that we could be more authoritive in making choice but in the end we do help each other to heal and grow. Each of us has given the other special gift of life and hope now to get to the point where all of us in the present so that we can enjoy the gift of life and friendships with those that have accepted us.

[Lillyleaf]

I wish my family was even close to like that

[anderson]

Originally Posted by Lillyleaf

I wish my family was even close to like that

We can not change our family of orgin but we can give this gift to our inner family that is when true healing begans. like what we said in our quote we had ti be tought this. And in time you can teach those within this code of life. That is why we tend to stick to our native american teachings. When you do intergrate you lose the sence of privacy within the system but by honoring each other we are able to allow other the space to heal and grow without us being totaly in their space. this is the tatally opposite of how we were raised by the abusers trained us to be there servent. But this way we are free from those that hurt us.

[Lillyleaf]

thank you

[justdontknow]

Our family of origin is nothing like I described. I was only talking about our inner family. I am sorry that you are sad. My words were not meant to sadden people but to bring hope that things can change, that's all. Good thoughts (and hugs if you feel safe) to all of you Lillyleaf.

Faith

Originally Posted by Lillyleaf

I wish my family was even close to like that

[Hunny]

Thank you Anderson, even though we respect our American families we understand the meaning behind The First Ammendment.

We might add, the measurement for this does not look like TV families or maybe even the neighbours. It is truly a contributing family group and supportive in the giftings to each other.

No, not perfect though, but continuting the process or learning what is the 'greater good'. We remember our psychologist using this phrase in the beginning. What is the greater good? It seemed a daunting task but slowly being realized.

Thanks again!
Love,
Hunny