just when we are starting to get somewhere in T, Vicki says she's done and goes into hiding. she is being too complacent and agreeable. we have another T appt on fri. Vicki is really scaring me. T talked about hospital to keep us safe. but we'll talk on fri. this is getting very scary and confusing. i think i really need help
w_i

[Mahali]

You or Vicki are welcome to pm anytime. We will help if we can.

[misty]

Vicki has every right just as we do to go into hiding, take a break or what ever it is. Do not understand the hospital thing just because she chooses to back off. Are you telling all or is the T over reacting?
lrks

Vicki has a plan to hurt herself. She said she just wants to sleep until all the pain goes away. She is really angry and in alot of pain since she came out and opened up some. We are having a problem getting her to understand that if she hurts herself she will hurt us all. She is being compliant and agreeable but we are afraid that she will follow thru when all our guards are down. She is not communicating with me. She did promise T that she would not do anything before our appt. on Fri.

Since yesterday, I have met a new someone/something who calls itself ROCK. He wrote in our journal that he does not talk or come out but has surrounded Vicki and all the pain so they can't get out. Vicki could be released when asked, but will once again be enveloped when finished. that we no longer have to worry.

this is getting too weird--what is going on?????
w_i

[misty]

sounds like Rock is helping and that is good.

[jmo531]

Bump

[kimmydawn]

white iris, each system is very complex. i hope that you do what you need to in order to keep the body safe.

rely heavily on t right now. journal as much as possible to see what comes out there.

thinking of you ((((((((((((((((white iris))))))))))))))))))))

kd

we just got back from T. T called Vicki out and let her talk. She reveled things about sexual abuse by my mother's brother-in-law in great detail. I knew about the abuse but thought it was a one time, at the most 2 encounters and not as long a time (14-18-clear up to the day of my wedding) or as mean as it was. My parents didn't believe me and so didn't protect me from him when ever he was around. I never knew that. It makes sense now why he was not dealt with by any of the adults.

It makes sense why she is in so much pain. she has given me some of that and I remember details that are just hitting me like someone punched me in the stomach and then kicked me some more. I am not sure how to deal with this. I never dealt with this stuff. Vicki always did.

We discovered Rock is a good thing for now. He is holding Vicki and only letting her out if someone on the outside calls her to come out and if it is safe. T suggested that she promise Rock that she won't do anything to harm herself or the rest of us. She said she would be lying. She doesn't accept that she is not alone. When T told her that she has been protecting us for a long time and if she hurts self, she will hurt all, she said that she will take deedee and the Little One with her to get away and be alone.

We have appt. on Monday. But for now, Vicki is in and we are safe. It is going to be a long long summer
w_i