[AtreyuFreak]

There's a boy (Dusty) who likes us, and some of us like him (the others refuse to trust him/men in general). The other day, Rylie "outed" us to him; we talked to him today about it, and he said he was okay with it . This, to me, is amazing. I mean, we're not even dating; we're just friends. He has no reason to be nice or to not treat us like a total psycho (even though we're not). It gives us/me hope, that maybe some day there will be a boy who actually loves us, even like this. I have no idea where things will go (if anywhere) with Dusty; for now, we're just enjoying flirting and being liked .

Anyone have thoughts on this, or stories about telling guys/significant others about DID?

[NuckingFutz]

Look at this a good thing. Not all people are mean.

[Hunny]

AF, this will take me a few days...

In the meantime it's lovely that you have a person in real life that you can share some fun times with. Keep it light! Not every friend will have to know everything about you all the time. You are aware of who may not like him and I would generally listen to that part about any boundaries you may need to set.

In the meantime have fun!

Hunny

[Perna]

Originally Posted by AtreyuFreak

This, to me, is amazing. I mean, we're not even dating; we're just friends.

That's what a friend is! Friends accept and support friends for who they are.

[Lillyleaf]

I am so happy see people do care and are willing to learn. (((((((hug))))))

[Vibe]

From my own personal experience, I've always found it better to bring up these issues before getting into a relationship, rather than after. My boyfriend let me get to know him as he really was before we truly took things a step further; and I would have felt very hurt, angry, and lied to if he hadn't.

However, from my perspective, he only kept this stuff to himself when we were 'just friends.' And since I believe you really don't owe your friends giant explanations of your personal issues, the years I hadn't known about his problems didn't bother me in the slightest.

Now I, on the other hand, am only just now coming to terms with my problems. I didn't even have words for them before, or know how to enter a truly honest and open relationship. So we've figured a lot of my stuff out together, and although I know he loves me and it wouldn't have changed his decision, I think he still feels that we entered the relationship under false pretenses. Also, knowing that someone you love is hurting and sick can be very difficult and stressful. So when he gets angry at the situation, the 'I didn't even know' concept is another thing he has to rationalize past.

Anyways, that's my own experience. Given all the misinformation and stuff out there, I'm glad you found a friend who seems so understanding. I was open to the idea when I met my first friend/s with DID, but it did take a bit of time to fully understand and get used to. Just keep that in mind if he seems clueless, or does something semi-hurtful that could be explained by simple misunderstanding. Sometimes outsiders just need things more fully explained every once in awhile.

[AtreyuFreak]

Though it freaked me out at first that Rylie "outed" us, I think it's a good thing. I realized the other night that I have never been in a relationship where I (let alone the other person!) knew I was DID. Almost all of my relationships have broken up because of some emotional issue (one of my alters sabotaging, bf getting freaked out by erratic behavior, etc). So this, for me, is huge. I think Rylie got scared by the idea of being in a relationship, which I can see as a potential possibility with this boy. I/we would have felt dishonest had we started going out before he knew about this, like we tricked him into dating us. I/we want him to be fully informed before he makes any decision, because we're all sick of relationships failing based on a lack of information.

[anderson]

((((AF)))))
Good luck, In the past when we were in good relationships we did tell our partners and they allowed us to set up safe bounderes within.
In a lot of ways "United states of Tare' did show the positive side of a good relationship between someone that has DID. But that kind of relationship comes with trailes and errors. Take it one step at a time and let each one of who you are learn to trust before making any big steps that will effect the whole.