[anderson]

ref·uge
Show Spelled [ref-yooj] Show IPA noun, verb,-uged, -ug·ing.
–noun
1.
shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm.
2.
a place of shelter, protection, or safety.
3.
anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape.
–verb (used with object)
4.
Archaic. to afford refuge to.
–verb (used without object)
5.
Archaic. to take refuge.
Origin:
1350–1400; ME < MF < L refugium, equiv. to refug(ere) to turn and flee, run away (re- re- + fugere to flee; see fugitive) + -ium -ium
—Synonyms
1. security, safety. 2. asylum, retreat, sanctuary, haven, stronghold.
Refuge is what we have sought most of our lives. We had it with our foster family and friends that we had through collage. We even had a good man that accepted us for who we are. But all was lost when I/we could not let go of the pain of our early childhood.
In the past 10 years we have sought refuge from the abuse of dark souls. But instead we only found milder abuse because no could understand why we were the way we are and pluse we got re dx with black out shicziophania and other combo. Which meant that we did not know what was going on or that we had the frame of mind to know what we talked about.
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Our son made a comment about we had only wanted someone to take care if us so we could sit on our butt all the time. We told him that as long as he choice not to see or recognize our fear and pain that we are just as dead to him as our feelings and need are to him. (we are talking now but he know that we are no longer accepting his abuse to keep us in check too)
In all these years we have only sought relieve from the pain that binded us. But those around us choice not to hear us. Or use our pain to their own gain. The fact that with each job change abuse exculpated instead of decreasing told us that no matter where we went the off the record talk would go any where we went.
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So now that our son is of the age that we no longer have to fear that he be sent back to the people that made us who we are. We are now trying to find faith that no one will use physical abuse to keep us in check. When we are near a lot of people we are on guard but when we are in the woods with majority of wild life we are at peace until one of us thank about moving back into town. We have yet to find a true refuge in town with so many people that are will to take pleasure from our pain. To us we have only gain that from being with people that believed in us. Be that male or female and if that is having someone take care of us then yes that is what we mean but in our hearts of hearts we really want to be with people that can accept us and not use our DID status to gain pleasure from our pain. We only want the ability to work and play with out pain just like the majority around us take for granted.

[Lillyleaf]

Hugs

Alice

[justdontknow]

((((Anderson))))

Refuge is something that we have always sought, something that seems unattainable, but we know that we can find it as long as we keep looking and never give up hope. We are here with you, listening and sending hugs and lots of positive energy from the hotel. It is wonderful that you can be out in the woods among nature. I bet you can feel the power and energy that comes from the life force of all that creeps or crawls or walks the earth. Also from the lush plants that inhabit the woods too. We envy you in the fact that you are able to go out in nature. Keep doing the things you need to do to keep yourself safe and well. We wish you the best of everything Anderson. Thank you for your posts.

Hotel Cris

[Hunny]

We magnify this your own quote to you and to ourself. This is a right but there are those that would disallow it due to their own agendas. It is for us to have. You will have this someday Anderson and you will never take it for granted.

Praying for all good things for you and yours, dear one.