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Old Aug 25, 2010, 12:12 PM
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anderson anderson is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2009
Location: getting use to my own skin again
Posts: 1,797
We got to spend the night in a motel. Those within had gone into over load form those that have hurt us in the past coming near to us. Regardless to the reasons why, it sent us into the swinging door syndrome. No matter how hard we tried no one wanted to be in charge and no one wanted to be present if we were going to be abuse again by the soul stealers.
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We went to the people for special housing to ask when we could move in because we felt like we were in a pool of piranhas and that we no longer felt safe in our tree house because we learned and saw that some of our past abusers now known for sure that we stayed their.
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Not only that but Lies A Lot had started to ride our pastor about letting us stay there so to make the long short we finely realized why those that we no feel safe with where showing up at service and other places around us.
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The lessons that we learned this week is it was safe to ask for help. In the past even in the past few week we trusted wrong. The people that showed up where in fact the people that we were dealing with abuse memoirs. We told the pastor that it did hurt us seeing him and others talk to those that had hurt us and act like these people did nothing wrong to us. We are tired of people acting like we have no memoir or just the fact that we have so little value that it did not bother them what these people did to us.
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When we told him that he was shocked but it could have been that each one of us went off and told him what was happening to us that we no like and we needed to take down time because the dark souls had kept hurting us when he was gone on vacation and that he even had a man that hurt us come in when we were trying to do things for the church. For the first time we hurt enough and felt strong enough the fallowing day to tell him how we felt.
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One of us even had the courage to ask him to be our advocate with the people that are helping us because we realized that no matter if rumor is false or true we no longer had a valued voice we had to many people talking about our black outs and bad memoirs so we got told again wait a little while and then we would forget everything. With his help and the help of others we may be in our own place. Its to the point that we will not say ya or nay until our butt is sitting in it.
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We felt better after talking but we still scared from the soul stealers so we asked for emergency housing. We hope that we will be in it with in the next couple of days. The person said she wanted it be fixed first to that we just told her that right now we need the four walls and a locked door all else does not matter when all those within are in such turmoil of having these people knowing where we live.
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They asked why we no go to the police and tell about what these people did to us? For the second time that day we told them. It does not matter what age the alter is that is out if we do not fight then no proof, no foul in the court of law. But most of all how is a child alter that has been so abused be able to have the courage to stand up to these people if we can not get any one to believe in us? And do not forget the black out stage that we have when the abuse first happens. We told them that we know we are screwed for all the above reasons the only thing that we can do is make it so that the dark souls do not have access to the body when those within are vulnerable.
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It has been so hard for us to find the courage to test the waters to see if those that have had alters under their control would hurt us from speaking out and asking for help. The dark souls that no longer have alters under their control still are coming around to try to keep us in check but we now fear them more from the knowledge that if they are able to physically hurt us that they may get an alter back under their control. Not from their ability to punish us and we are not able to protect our selves for now more people are coming forward and give us shelter it is just getting all within knowing who we can trust and with what.
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We have been at the cross roads for so long trying to find the path that will give us at least an end to the chronic daily abuse. But not only that the ability to find hope again to a better future.
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Thank you all for being here for us and supporting us in finding a way to find a way to have hope again.
__________________
Sometimes the only way to find freedom is to fight for it, even unto death! Because no form of abuse transcends pass it! To live free and with hope is still the greatest gift of life!- anderson

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