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  #1  
Old Aug 20, 2010, 10:35 PM
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AtreyuFreak AtreyuFreak is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 377
How could I not see it? I know PTSD; I live with it. It's so obvious! She wouldn't answer her phone, scared it was me again...Now she talks about the OD in reporter fashion...I'll bet she has flashbacks and nightmares too...How can she not hate me?!

Ugh...I'm so disgusted with myself. I KNOW the hell PTSD can cause. How could I be so wrapped up in my own s*** that I caused it in someone else??? What am I gonna do next, cause DID in a friend? Cause RAD in a kid, if I ever have one?

How do I stop? It's so much worse than hurting myself, than hurting emotionally...I would sentence myself to eternal exile in the worst place imaginable if it meant never hurting another person I care about...Any feelings of worthlessness I felt prior to this realization is now tripled...

What's the point of going into health care, being a nurse, caring for strangers, if I keep hurting those closest to me?? What right do I have to be happy now, knowing others are in pain because of me?
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"When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they know the good as the good, There arises the perception of evil. Therefore Being and non-Being produce each other."

"Suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."

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  #2  
Old Aug 20, 2010, 11:29 PM
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AtreyuFreak AtreyuFreak is offline
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Just realized lyrics from Yellowcard's Rough Draft fit my sentiments exactly:

"If it's healthier to leave you be, may a sickness come and set me free...Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me..."
__________________
"When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they know the good as the good, There arises the perception of evil. Therefore Being and non-Being produce each other."

"Suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."
Thanks for this!
Nupoet64
  #3  
Old Aug 21, 2010, 01:27 AM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,004
Atrey, hugz..
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
Thanks for this!
AtreyuFreak
  #4  
Old Aug 21, 2010, 06:51 AM
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Gr3tta Gr3tta is offline
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Knowing that you have hurt someone you care for is the worst possible feeling. I'm with you - I'd rather be dropped into a pit of needles and salt for eternity than hurt someone I love. The thing we have to remember is, that it is always a risk to care. For anyone. The people who care for us take a risk, and sometimes we will hurt them. But when it's not intentional, and we do whatever we are able to help them, it's okay. It's part of the pain of interacting with others. But we are learning the pain does not outweigh the benefits. ~Emma
Thanks for this!
AtreyuFreak
  #5  
Old Aug 21, 2010, 08:54 AM
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Nupoet64 Nupoet64 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,004
Very well said Gr3tta!!
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....the axe soon forgets, but the tree remembers forever... (Chinese fortune cookie)
Thanks for this!
AtreyuFreak, Gr3tta
  #6  
Old Aug 21, 2010, 03:32 PM
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Lillyleaf Lillyleaf is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2010
Location: Lost :)
Posts: 666
Hugs,
I am wondering the same quetion right now to...
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I hope,
I dream,
I wish,
for a better tomorrow.....
Thanks for this!
AtreyuFreak
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