Telling primary doctor...

Hunny · Jan 19, 2009 at 12:32 PM

Thanks for all the above. Very helpful!

Susaan van Zyl · Jan 19, 2009 at 12:51 PM

Hang in there - nervousness and anxiety and panic - all of that does pass, and it feels better sooner than later.

Apr 03, 2009 at 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathijones

HI Guys.
I just had spinal fusion surgery and after being diagnosis with DID in 1988. After all these years and many doctors visits later. I decided to face it head on with the doctor and the hospital. I came out a few weeks ahead and explained it all and told them what was probably going to happen. That Katie my 5 year old alter who always took the pain for me would probably be out before surgery when they IV was started and would probably be out in recovery. I could just see the RNS thinking i was in shock with me talking like a little girl. I was in the hospital for 5 days and the first 3 days i was doped up on morphine katie was in and out alot but with me telling the doctors and taking control of the situation the doctors and nurses were on the same page and they worked together for my pain management and talked together. Instead of me feeling like a freak i felt like they understood.. In fact, my doctor and surgeon told me that he learned so much during my stay in the hospital that he was going to be able to us with his other patients and he appreciated me telling his ahead of time. He was appreciateive of me sharing it with him and the nurses were too. It was such a positive experience. ALL around.
Just wanted to share.
Kathi

Thank you so much for posting this! I'm having surgery for thyroid cancer in June and couldn't imagine how I would cope. I haven't had good results trying to talk to others about DID. I am allergic to all narcotic pain relievers, so I won't be doped up enough not to care if I switch.
This gives me some hope. It's still very scary too.

kayone · Apr 12, 2009 at 05:35 PM

Hi, I just got registered and read what was written, but don't know how to type in on an answer i guess this is it I'm Karen and I'm in Dallas...my primary doc knows I'm DID, but so far , no problems.

anderson · Oct 16, 2009 at 06:13 PM

Thank you I have had to live down the stigma of DID. but in the end I found it was just easier to be myself. it took me two years, a 1/2 dozen public blow ups but people are finely getting the picture that I remember things. My t asked me why I did it. the only thing that I could say is I'm just like the other path builders. I remember the black woman taking the front set. the gay/lesbin fighting for a job and all those others that endured the pain of being on the front line. In the end I would not have made it had not been the veterns that believed in me. I am not telling everyone to speak out there are times that I wish I was still in the closet. but now people knew and I hope that more people will understand us. This page is also helping us to keep the faith. thank you all for being so honest and helpful.

beadlady29-old · Nov 02, 2009 at 10:04 AM

thanx anderson! beada glad yuo posted this cuz we too has 'come uot' abuot her DID. most peoples what no us very well also no that we is DID. some of them dont really seem to get it, others is always tryign ta get a certian one of us to come uot because they thikns they is beign helpful liek when one of her littles is uot pppls. what nos us can usualy tell.........them we not like so much...........but others are very supportive adn we need supposrt from anywheir it comes from rite now. we is glad we has teelled others becaue now we does not have ta do a bunch of explaineign when someone comes uot adn does are says somethign adn some others of us dotn no nothing abuot it so in the dark. beads HATES hzveing ta explain abuot her littles also so now we dotn have to anymoer.
marsidotz

Kaitlyn · Apr 23, 2010 at 10:01 PM

I ended up telling my primary care provider about my little Hannah over the summer.... I didn't know how she'd react to it but Hannah wanted my doctor to know about her. Even though my doctor doesn't know much about DID/MPD, she accepted Hannah really easily.... A bit more easily than my counselor had (it wasn't until the first part of my psychological evaluation this past Monday that she willingly accepted Hannah and was willing to work with her--- of course the psychologist is my counselors supervisor and said she wanted my counselor to work with Hannah!).

My doctor is the same way when it comes to my "female exams"--- she's willing to wait until I'm ready and told me that if it becomes too much I can tell her and she'll stop the exam...she's even willing to do it in two appointments if necessary and let me go every 2-3 years in between instead of the traditional yearly exam.

Rhiannonsmoon · Jul 23, 2010 at 02:49 AM

Thanks for this...I have always wondered what happened to me during internals

Sep 04, 2010 at 01:53 AM

I only tell my primary care doc that I have PTSD and depression . When I had my surgery last year, I was under the care of a wonderful psychiatrist who had ties to Mass General. She called the people she knew , explained the situation and I had the best care ever. I had a psych resident assigned to me before and after the surgery which was good because I panicked badly. They gave me a private suite so I could feel safe. I couldn't have asked for more.
On the other hand, I tried to tell my brother and sister in law about DID. The first reaction was Never , ever being allowed to babysit my neices again. The second reaction, or question, from my SIL was "So are you like Dr Jeckel & Mr Hyde?"

Korin · May 13, 2011 at 11:20 AM

My primary care doctor was the one who suggested that I go for a reassessment so he knows what I’m dealing with and he is very helpful. He understands that I only need an anti-depressant when I’m struggling a bit and having difficulty sleeping. Tiredness and stress are huge factors in how well I cope with the DID. I just wish my dentist knew. I tried to tell her once but it wouldn’t come out. I find I get very, very anxious and have cancelled appointments in the past. I keep planning to tell her but I don’t know her as well as I know my doctor. It’s been too difficult.

Hunny · May 19, 2011 at 10:01 AM

Korin,

Here too. *sigh*

...working on it though.

we13 · 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon

Thanks for this...I have always wondered what happened to me during internals

I have a great gyn... She adjusts the speculum to fit me so it doesn't hurt and I don't have to go away. I have to do the exam as the body may have cancer as a result of the sexual abuse. I have my D&C. June 19 and then we will know for sure. Needless to say we are in mix up time. I only told her about the sexual abuse not the DID. I cannot do colonoscopy at all as the destructive ones come out. There is too much risk.

Morgana · Nov 28, 2011 at 01:06 AM

This is so helpful. :3 My gyn knows about my childhood abuse (although not who did it, I was too scared to tell her it was my dad

), and about my abusive ex, and knows I have PTSD, but I've never managed to tell her about even the fact I dissociate, never mind that I'm multiple. :/ We haven't switched during an exam so far, but I do dissociate and get very spacey and far away 'cause it's so scary.

h8myself · Nov 28, 2011 at 01:13 AM

are you guys hot. what the intensity of your discussion. i am interested. so whats up. i don't tell my doctor anything but what i need them to hear. i don't trust most doc's okay. but my doctor is cool she knows me better than i do. for real she can tell when i'm trippin i dont even have2 tell her. look can you trust your doctor? okay jus figure that out an you'l be staight. or jus marinate on that u kno for a minute and it'll probably jus be there u kno. its all good.

such is life... · Apr 28, 2012 at 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous29319

In another thread I saw a post where the person was not sure about seeing the doctor because She would have to explain about having DID. So I thought I would post how I told my doctor. Hope this helps a few people here.

I was diagnosed MPD (which is now called DID) back in 1989. From then on I refused to see my doctor for physicals and so on. then in 2001 I entered therapy after years away from it and this therapist and I were working on my DID and I had to see my primary physician (who is also my gyn.) for a physical and meds. I didn't want to go for many reasons my having to tell mental health history was one of them. She explained to me that I don't HAVE to diclose to him my DID but It would be in my best interest for example I always lose time during the internal and my records show that one time I laugh hysterically to the point where the equipment is pushed out, other times I stiffen up What happens if one of these time Margo (a violent memory piece) gets activated. I could get seriously hurt or transported to a mental health unit because my doctor does not know what is going on. I agree with her and say ok so how do I tell him?

She said think about what you know about DID, the basics.

Ok DID starts with dissociation.
yes. what is dissociation?
Daydreaming yourself into a mental safe place when there is no physical escape.
yes. what are NORMAL acts of dissociation?
Riding or driving a car and thinking about other things instead of hit the break here, turn the corner there, daydreaming during a boring class, getting so involved in a movie that you don't pay attention to anything outside the movie.
Yes. Do you think your doctor does any of those activities.?
Yea he drives a car and likes watching movies and he had to have had alot of boring classes to become a doctor.
So...
I get him talking about daydreaming during those activities first then tell him that I daydreamed to get away from my stepfather so much that now the Dissociation testing shows that I am a 9-10 on the dissociation scale.
You got it.

So I went to my doctor. First I had to get him to talk off the record because my lawyer told my therapist not to disclose my DID to the DHS caseworker at that time. That was easy. he's used to my saying "officially Im doing ok" since the DHS case has been going. So he did his official exam then hams it up by leaving the room and enters again saying oops wrong room I'm not here right now.

Then I told him just like my therapist and I rehearsed - I got him talking about daydreaming while working and so on then said theres tests called DES and DDIS that I took a long time ago and I was a 10 then.

He looked at me and said and now?
havent taken the test, lawyer says no because DHS will have access to it.
uhhuh hmmmmmmmmmm Can I have your therapist name and number since I am prescribing your medication for depression it won't ring any bells for her and I to confer about your depression/PTSD treatment plans.

I smiled and gave him the information and signed a release form so the two could talk.

Now during internals I take my walkman with me and his female nurse stands right next to me so that the two of us talk through the exam. at the least uncomfortable feeling, flashbacks and so on my primary physician ends the exam.

I have not lost time, or faded into my tunnel area during exams since and I am no longer afraid or dreading the internals.

Hi I'm Kim I hate going to my regular doctor because so many of our parts have diffrent medical issues and this confusses the doctor, pluss usualy a little one is hanging around and scared...I have not had a pap smear or GYN exam because I just cant let any one ...be downn there. My therapists says to let the same alter go to each specific visit but I dont know how to do this yet....also doctors are triggers for us.

LB_mitralvalve · Feb 11, 2013 at 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous29319

In another thread I saw a post where the person was not sure about seeing the doctor because She would have to explain about having DID. So I thought I would post how I told my doctor. Hope this helps a few people here.

I was diagnosed MPD (which is now called DID) back in 1989. From then on I refused to see my doctor for physicals and so on. then in 2001 I entered therapy after years away from it and this therapist and I were working on my DID and I had to see my primary physician (who is also my gyn.) for a physical and meds. I didn't want to go for many reasons my having to tell mental health history was one of them. She explained to me that I don't HAVE to diclose to him my DID but It would be in my best interest for example I always lose time during the internal and my records show that one time I laugh hysterically to the point where the equipment is pushed out, other times I stiffen up What happens if one of these time Margo (a violent memory piece) gets activated. I could get seriously hurt or transported to a mental health unit because my doctor does not know what is going on. I agree with her and say ok so how do I tell him?

She said think about what you know about DID, the basics.

Ok DID starts with dissociation.
yes. what is dissociation?
Daydreaming yourself into a mental safe place when there is no physical escape.
yes. what are NORMAL acts of dissociation?
Riding or driving a car and thinking about other things instead of hit the break here, turn the corner there, daydreaming during a boring class, getting so involved in a movie that you don't pay attention to anything outside the movie.
Yes. Do you think your doctor does any of those activities.?
Yea he drives a car and likes watching movies and he had to have had alot of boring classes to become a doctor.
So...
I get him talking about daydreaming during those activities first then tell him that I daydreamed to get away from my stepfather so much that now the Dissociation testing shows that I am a 9-10 on the dissociation scale.
You got it.

So I went to my doctor. First I had to get him to talk off the record because my lawyer told my therapist not to disclose my DID to the DHS caseworker at that time. That was easy. he's used to my saying "officially Im doing ok" since the DHS case has been going. So he did his official exam then hams it up by leaving the room and enters again saying oops wrong room I'm not here right now.

Then I told him just like my therapist and I rehearsed - I got him talking about daydreaming while working and so on then said theres tests called DES and DDIS that I took a long time ago and I was a 10 then.

He looked at me and said and now?
havent taken the test, lawyer says no because DHS will have access to it.
uhhuh hmmmmmmmmmm Can I have your therapist name and number since I am prescribing your medication for depression it won't ring any bells for her and I to confer about your depression/PTSD treatment plans.

I smiled and gave him the information and signed a release form so the two could talk.

Now during internals I take my walkman with me and his female nurse stands right next to me so that the two of us talk through the exam. at the least uncomfortable feeling, flashbacks and so on my primary physician ends the exam.

I have not lost time, or faded into my tunnel area during exams since and I am no longer afraid or dreading the internals.

I never tell my doctors for fear of being labled... Only my sphycologist really knows about this. I also fear what my family would think?

ThisWayOut · Feb 19, 2013 at 09:21 PM

I was up front with my gyn about the dissociation because it normally happens there. I just told her how to try to bring me back. My pcp wasn't old directly, but found out through hospital records and such during that year I was in and out about a million times. Both were very understanding, though both appeared quite frightened by it. I think overall my gyn took it better (she saw me through some pretty rough stuff related to the abuse), but both took it in stride (at least in front of my face, I don't really care what goes on behind closed doors when I'm not there... ok, I do care, but I try not to)...

Thanks for that post. I am still trying how to describe it all to my current therapist (a student) and to any dr I may find down here...

(JD) · Feb 20, 2013 at 05:12 PM

I have not read the whole thread...

but I wouldn't tell any more than you really need to.... phrases like "I tend to dissociate due to anxiety when..." might suffice?

Meisjes · Mar 15, 2013 at 08:21 PM

Anonymous very brave of you sharing this. Pretty sure I won't be doing this but kudos to you!

Rvnmpd · Apr 01, 2013 at 07:44 PM

A primary doctor is in no position to even comprehend this. I do please feelmfree to talk. Only a preferrably psychologist can understand. Half of them dont even believe. I do. Rvn

tiggerandcrew · May 17, 2013 at 02:00 PM

Thank you so much for the post. This is something I have stressed about for a very long time. I really feel for getting the best medical help possible, my doctor needs to know, but I have never been sure what to say or what the reprocussions would be. I have feared him telling me that I am too screwed up and to get lost and find someone else for my general medical needs. You have given me hope. Thanks.

lucylin · Jul 20, 2013 at 05:46 PM

i think u are very brave to trust your pcp enough to understand. at least yours is trying. i wouldn't trust mine, but i don't dissociate like i did when i was young. if i was triggered so quickly & often like u , then i guess i'd have to find a knowledgable pcp or go w/o medical care.

lucylin · Jul 20, 2013 at 06:15 PM

i keep putting off my gyn visit too, worries me but just can't make myself go. ll

innocentjoy · Jul 26, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Wow, I'm sooo glad to know I'm not the only one! I've been avoiding any sort of physical checkup with my dr. I tried to tell her about my anxiety re: physicals, and she didn't even want to hear why. I got a lecture about how many other women go through the same things I have, etc etc. I'm sure it doesn't help that I am almost thirty and have only been able to realize/admit to myself (and slowly other people) that I'd been through any sort of trauma whatsoever. Always before I insisted that my childhood was fantastic. When you start remember this late, especially after mental health issues, many people see you as an attention seeker. Sigh, if only they knew.

I have contacted the local abuse medical centre, and am going to see if they can give me a name of a gentle, and very understanding gyn, and will do any sort of physical through him/her. I also have my t, who is also an MD, and he can let me know if different medical issues are caused by the ptsd and DID NOS, and then only actual medical issues will be discussed with my dr.

It is really sad that survivors/victims of abuse are often victimized again by the attitudes towards them

Anyways, thank you, so much for that!!
IJ

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Telling primary doctor...

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Hunny Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2009 Posts: 3,982 15 127 hugs given	Jan 19, 2009 at 12:32 PM #26 Thanks for all the above. Very helpful!

Susaan van Zyl Member Member Since Jan 2009 Posts: 45 15	Jan 19, 2009 at 12:51 PM #27 Hang in there - nervousness and anxiety and panic - all of that does pass, and it feels better sooner than later.

kayone New Member Member Since Apr 2009 Posts: 1 15	Apr 12, 2009 at 05:35 PM #29 Hi, I just got registered and read what was written, but don't know how to type in on an answer i guess this is it I'm Karen and I'm in Dallas...my primary doc knows I'm DID, but so far , no problems.

Hunny Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2009 Posts: 3,982 15 127 hugs given	May 19, 2011 at 10:01 AM #36 Korin, Here too. sigh ...working on it though.

(JD) Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2003 Location: Coram Deo Posts: 35,474 (SuperPoster!) 20 1,651 hugs given	Feb 20, 2013 at 05:12 PM #43 I have not read the whole thread... but I wouldn't tell any more than you really need to.... phrases like "I tend to dissociate due to anxiety when..." might suffice? __________________ Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU! Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

Meisjes Veteran Member Member Since Mar 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 366 11 32 hugs given	Mar 15, 2013 at 08:21 PM #44 Anonymous very brave of you sharing this. Pretty sure I won't be doing this but kudos to you!

Rvnmpd Junior Member Member Since Mar 2013 Posts: 10 11	Apr 01, 2013 at 07:44 PM #45 A primary doctor is in no position to even comprehend this. I do please feelmfree to talk. Only a preferrably psychologist can understand. Half of them dont even believe. I do. Rvn

lucylin Junior Member Member Since Jul 2013 Posts: 15 11 1 hugs given	Jul 20, 2013 at 05:46 PM #47 i think u are very brave to trust your pcp enough to understand. at least yours is trying. i wouldn't trust mine, but i don't dissociate like i did when i was young. if i was triggered so quickly & often like u , then i guess i'd have to find a knowledgable pcp or go w/o medical care.

lucylin Junior Member Member Since Jul 2013 Posts: 15 11 1 hugs given	Jul 20, 2013 at 06:15 PM #48 i keep putting off my gyn visit too, worries me but just can't make myself go. ll