[any_body out there]

This is my first post. I don't know where else to turn. I went to therapy, and they told me I was fine and really getting to know myself! Don't know where that came from. I know all of my peeps. There is Ashley (my little), Jerome, Virgy, Sal, just to name a few that come and go at will...Theirs..
I am hoping to get some support from other members who have been thru therapy. I don't want them to go away, I just want to be able to be co-conscience so that I am aware of what they are up to, and to get to know them better.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by any_body out there

This is my first post. I don't know where else to turn. I went to therapy, and they told me I was fine and really getting to know myself! Don't know where that came from. I know all of my peeps. There is Ashley (my little), Jerome, Virgy, Sal, just to name a few that come and go at will...Theirs..
I am hoping to get some support from other members who have been thru therapy. I don't want them to go away, I just want to be able to be co-conscience so that I am aware of what they are up to, and to get to know them better.

here the word co conscious means being aware of who your alters are on any levels. example if you can hear their voices thats co consciousness. if you can be aware while they are out thats also being co conscious. if you can talk with them internally or externally thats also co consciousness. if you can write to them thats being co conscious. if you can read to them thats being co conscious. if you can buy them things they ask for thats being co conscious. If you can feel when your alters are feeling angry, happy, sad what ever the emotion, pain or joy thats called being co conscious. if you notice when things have changed around you thats being co conscious..if you notice toys, clothing being left around thats being co conscious.

what Im saying here is that there are many ways to be co conscious with your alters, most people with DID have many different degrees of co consciousness. sometimes they even have differing amounts from alter to alter. they just dont always realize it until someone explains what co consciousness means. Some only have a little bit and others have alot and some are in between.

the first step is to find out how much co consciousness you have. experiment - write to them - talk to them - try to understand or know what they are feeling....

once you know what amount of co consciousness you already have you will understand and know what needs to be done to develop this ability more by utilizing what you already have.

example you know theres Ashley.. what does Ashely like, what emotions does Ashley feel, what does Ashley...

if you know Ashley plays with dolls make paper dolls, buy inexpensive dolls, make a point of playing with the dolls...

as time goes on you will discover more and more about each of your alters.

talk with your mental health provider. let them know what amount of co consciousness you already have and then make a plan with them for how to work on skills that can allow you to be more aware when they are out.. for some people that means journaling, others it means doing trauma work, for others it means utilizing mindfulness.. there are many ways a mental health provider works with dissociative clients to develop more awareness, control and problem solving skills to overcome problems that dissociative s have.

dont expect everything to happen right away. it takes many years of therapy to develop full co consciousness abilities.

also for some people, some locations, some mental health providers developing co consciousness is the route to integration and it happens even when someone doesnt want to be integrated.

example my treatment provider belives co consciousness is a step in the integration process and all my alters integrated with me as I developed more and more co consciousness with them. Some I never developed any co consciousness with. the trauma work ie remembering the abuse, taking care of the problems that caused me to dissociate (some places and treatment providers call this working with triggers) and learning how to handle my daily life better made is so that I no longer needed to dissociate into those alters I wasnt co conscious with, which means their purpose/job was done. Since they had no reason for being separate from me they just merged/integrated with me.

integration doesnt mean your alters will go away. it just means you will know what their purpose is, why they came into being and now you handle those things they did because you share their memories now..

example flaming B----- handled stressful situations that required me to be assertive. after I developed more co consciousness with her, she merged /integrated with me. I know why she came into being. I remember /share her memories and feelings. I know can be assertive and handle those stressful situations that she did. When in doubt I can ask "us" what to do and the thought of what to do comes right to me.

sometimes like in my case being integrated isnt a choice and it is for the best.

what Im getting at is that through developing more co consciousness some or all of your alters may end up integrating so you might want to talk with your treatment provider about what the term means where you are and what it means to your treatment provider and work out a plan for what you can do "if" somewhere down the line you notice an alter isnt coming out as much, is quieter than normal and all those other signs that show you are becoming stronger and possibly integrating. for some people who are conscious of their alters voices and their ways it can be a bit disconcerting to go from for example quite noisy to quiet. It helped me so much that my treatment provider and I had plans all set in case spontaneous integration, quietness happened.

you might also consider having a moderator move your thread to the main dissociative disorders board. the garden is for playful things that the alters and hosts like to do. in the main dissociative board you will probably get more replies and help with things you can do to become more co conscious.

[krazy_phoenix]

Hi any_body, just wanted to welcome you to PC.
Looking forward to getting to know you all better...
Cheers,
kp