[Noah's Wife]

One of my parts keeps saying she has to die. I'm learning she doesn't really mean that so much as that she wants to stop doing a "should" and move on to doing a "want to". I'm still getting pretty tired of hearing about death so often. Help! Do you think I could ask her to stop talking about it so much? Or teach her to use other words? Or...?

Originally Posted by Noah's Wife

One of my parts keeps saying she has to die. I'm learning she doesn't really mean that so much as that she wants to stop doing a "should" and move on to doing a "want to". I'm still getting pretty tired of hearing about death so often. Help! Do you think I could ask her to stop talking about it so much? Or teach her to use other words? Or...?

I know how you feel. But I don't have any advice, I'm sorry. I catch a part saying "I just want to die, I can't do this anymore." Repeat and repeat. So I really feel for you. I also don't like to think about death a lot. I hope that someone else can offer advice for you.

[Noah's Wife]

It's like I used to handle typical stressers just fine.
But now I notice that the house is a mess and the first response is, "I just have to die." I notice that our kids clothes are tattered/dirty and the first response is, "I just have to die." It seems really extreme. Maybe I'm just really tired out. I wish I could understand it all a bit better.

It could be stress and being overwhelmed! Maybe you could try nurturing that part. Do you think it's a child part? I think mine is a really scared child part so I do things to "nurture it" like coloring, watching kids movies, making sure to remind it that I will keep it safe. Wrapping myself in a blanket, carrying blankets with me if I have to so if it gets scared I can make it feel safe. Like a big hug. Trying to avoid things that "feel" uncomfortable in my gut. Like walking at dark, or attending big social events where people may be present that jeopardize you. I know in order to keep that part safe I don't go out with my friends to bars, because drunk people make me feel really iffy. But it's different with everyone. Maybe if you have family or friends who aren't supportive you could "protect" it from them, by not being around them as much.

[anderson]

((( Noahs Wife )))
it takes time for our inner parts to earn safety. There are times that I/we get so tired of dealing with real life situations when those within are traped in time when we were being hurt so much.
ost time that very sentence comes to our mouth many times. To us it seems to fade as that part realizes that we wont be hurt for just stopping and working with the part that needs time to heal and grow. yes the house may be dirty but is it really tatered and wholely. Take the time to care for your self. Pick one thing that needs to be done around the home. If you focas on cleaning one room or landry on any given day. it will help prevent a big pile up but allows you the time to heal and grow.
go slowly and remember that we did not get this way over night so give those with in a chance to heal while taken care of your self.