[Hunny]

this is an amazingly well done movie/documentary. It will be shown again, in a shorter version on TV. I'll try to find the time and dates and let you know. Yes, it is only a short two hour film but I found it was very timely.

http://whenthedevilknocks.com/photo-wall/

(ps the reference to the devil was in reference to when the most challenging alters try to assert themself then we have to turn and face that challege and creatively find a way to communicate and address this alter.) The counsellor was sensitive, creative, intuative and believing. She also was in the small theatre.

Today, was the world premiere and I was so humbled to be able to meet the woman whose life it is about. At first I was nervous to watch the movie and there were parts that were hard to watch but my goal was I did want to give her a hug and I got to do that. There are so may things I could say about the movie and they are mostly good but I am so tired and need to go nigh, nigh. Thanks to both my T's for their support through some of the more intense moments.

Write later,

Hunny

[justdontknow]

Wow Hunny! Thank you so much for posting this. I hope that many people are able to watch this movie so that they will understand what it is like. It looks very well done and I am glad. Thanks.

Cris

[kasva]

thank you hunny. how neat to meet the woman whos life it is about. i hope that i can see it.kasva

[Hunny]

Justdontknow and Kasva:

I am so happy to have been able to watch the full movie. But there is so much going on in my brain and around my emotions and I have questions that I would have loved to ask her. It was pretty busy around her and and her psychologist and the movie makers.

She spoke briefly at the end as did her therapist answering questions and receiving flowers and lots of clapping of appreciation for courage and making sense out of it all. It is only two hours of her 14 years of therapy but it was good for me to see this at this time (I was with my cousellor and therapist too) because of some work I am doing in therapy right now watching my own self in therapy.

I really only thought I would be able to give her a hug and not speak to her but I got to tell her, well when I was hugging her telling her I was too and she asked how is it going and I can't remember what I said but I think I pointed to my therapists who were walking up the aisle and mumbled something like "good, it's going good".

The documentary was well done. Her intent was to take some of the horror out of DID and I think the filmakers did that indeed.

There is so much more I could say about it, but I am still processing but I hope I can write more about it soon.

Why it was so important for me to meet someone like myself, in person, is because I have been longing as some of you know to meet somone with skin on, lol as it were. Even though she had no clue, for me it was a great joy to meet her. I must admit I switched a few times throughout the film and also because my therapists were there I always feel more able to do so without suffering judgement by them or me. Yes, there were a couple of times I was moderately triggered but the film has so much focus on healing that it lasted only briefly. But as I say I am quite tired now and processessing through the parts.

I recommend it to any of us but if you are able have a safe someone with you. I also want to tell you I got to commend her partner for being such a great support for her too. It was all very surreal at times.

Thanks again for sayin'

[Hunny]

Here is some information about other viewings coming up from someone I was able to email:

A shorter version of the doc is airing on CBC's The Passionate Eye in the winter (early 2011). AND... they are hoping to get some more screenings of the longer film version - she was working on one right then, in fact. If it worke out, it would be showing in Vancouver, sometime after the television airing.

She mentioned I could sign up for their newsletter on the website www.bountiful.ca and they will email out details of the TV air date and other screenings. They are also on Facebook.

I'll write more later...

[justdontknow]

This is so great to read and process Hunny. I am so glad that you got to have that experience. It is truly different meeting someone else, in the flesh, who has DID. I have only done that once and we had a good talk. Please write more when you are able.

Cris

[Hunny]

So, here is one thing that is standing out for me from the movie. She (her parts) collected or owned some things for each part. For instance, toys, stuffies, collectables, red things, etc etc.

So when I came home and looked around at my various toys and collectibles again, in light of seeing hers, I was so happy! relieved! at peace. Now I know many of you have told us all about your various toys but to actually see someone else's stuffy, cars, collectibles is quite a delight! She showed us her rooms where they were put and why they were there but not in a weirded-out-way.

I felt better about the bears, the rabbit, the stuffed doggie, the tractor, the blocks (leggo), the paints, the drawing things, the my favourite thing shelf and etc. that are mine/ours.

The other thing that keeps playing over in my mind is the fact that she did not have to struggle to prove anything, at least not in the movie. She was accepted by her daughter and granchildren, her best friend/partner, the film maker and workers (crew) and of course her therapist.

Sometimes, I feel even on here on PC that there is opposition and a kind of underlying lack of acceptance all the way to undermining. When people go to say depression forum or ocd forum I do not think there are the same kinds of opposition. I say, if you don't agree please find a place to discuss it but don't put it here (on dissociation forum) because everyone here (on this forum) is already trying to accept themself/ves for who they are. Please bring it up in a discussion forum away from this forum or check with someone in administration how to discuss it without diminishing people.

And please don't say there seems to be so many people who are did here. This is a dissociation forum and as far as I can tell it services Britain, to Australia, to Africa, to Alaska to Scotland to parts of Asia (even) and of course North America. I don't tell people who represent in the ocd Forum that there seem to be a lot of ocd people here. I'm not kidding, someone actually said this comment to me in chat one time (and at a time when I was trying to work with an alter who was already quite disruptive to our system). They said: "There seems to be a lot of DID people here." Maybe it's because we are finally given space to be ourselves here, if it seems more than they have ever seen before. So, next time I'll report them but at the time I was just like oh, no not something else!? And please don't comment on whether this is okay or not, this one was only the tip.

So, as I mentioned before, I will try to comment on what else the movie held for me and helped me with as I am able to unravel bits here and there. There is plenty more I am seeing but will only be able to share as I am allowed inwardly and timewise.

Do take care and I hope you are all having a decent day.

I am happy to have the movie as it helps me share what is going on for me.

[justdontknow]

Hunny,

I am so very glad for one to hear about the collections. We have collections as well: legos, stuffed animals, guitar picks, guitar books, crayons, coloring books, pirate books and costume, drawing sets, etc. It is nice to know that others have these things.

I was glad and relieved to hear your comment:

Originally Posted by Hunny

Sometimes, I feel even on here on PC that there is opposition and a kind of underlying lack of acceptance all the way to undermining. When people go to say depression forum or ocd forum I do not think there are the same kinds of opposition. I say, if you don't agree please find a place to discuss it but don't put it here (on dissociation forum) because everyone here (on this forum) is already trying to accept themself/ves for who they are. Please bring it up in a discussion forum away from this forum or check with someone in administration how to discuss it without diminishing people.

And please don't say there seems to be so many people who are did here. This is a dissociation forum and as far as I can tell it services Britain, to Australia, to Africa, to Alaska to Scotland to parts of Asia (even) and of course North America. I don't tell people who represent in the ocd Forum that there seem to be a lot of ocd people here. I'm not kidding, someone actually said this comment to me in chat one time (and at a time when I was trying to work with an alter who was already quite disruptive to our system). They said: "There seems to be a lot of DID people here." Maybe it's because we are finally given space to be ourselves here, if it seems more than they have ever seen before. So, next time I'll report them but at the time I was just like oh, no not something else!? And please don't comment on whether this is okay or not, this one was only the tip.

I hope it is alright to say that I am relieved that you brought this up. I had been feeling singled out by others about DID and things associated with it. Things along the lines of what you talked about. Thank you for mentioning it and I hope you are ok with me commenting. I do not mean to offend, just agreeing.

Thanks for the update on the movie and how it is affecting you. I love to read about it.

Cris from the Hotel only if ok.

[Hunny]

Justdon'tknow,

Thank you. You are encouraging and your affirmation is calming. It is easier to communicate when we feels accepted. Less nerves and jumpiness.

What a lovely collection of things for you all, even pirate stuff! It suits you to a 'T', I'm sure. I have some guitar books too. I'm hoping to practice again soon

It does make it more calm to have the movie to kind of springboard off of when describing life. I just don't want to be a bother.

Have a nice day

[Hunny]

I just can't believe this, I'm in shock. I just got this in my email. Even though I didn't know her I, just... oh _____?! This is just too sad...

http://bountiful.ca/blog/in-memory-of-hilary-stanton/

In Memory of Hilary Stanton
Posted: Dec 30, 2010 in The Blog

A month after a truly triumphant appearance at the Vancouver Film Festival in October 2010, Hilary Stanton died in a car accident in Mexico.
Director Helen Slinger, and the crew of Bountiful Films, came to care deeply for Hilary during the production of When the Devil Knocks. We are honoured to have known her and feel privileged to have been entrusted with the telling of her remarkable story.
As she went through so much to get healthy and whole, it seems desperately unfair that Hilary didn’t have more time. But there’s comfort in knowing that she was finally truly happy and at peace and, for us at Bountiful, there’s comfort, too, in remembering how much pleasure Hilary found in the making of the documentary. As the credits rolled at the premiere screening in Vancouver, she glowed in the warmth of an absolutely thunderous standing ovation.
We mourn the passing of this powerful, irrepressible, wonderful woman. Hilary was very brave to lay open her life in the way that she did and she was proud of the resulting film, now her legacy.

[brittfly]

i can't believe she just died. I don't knw what to say. I went to the movie trailor and listened to the experts and am so excited to "meet" them in the movie. So sad how life can go. I am glad she was able to do this movie and help others!!

[Bmee2]

Oh i am so late to find this information. i am having trouble finding the movie. I cannot view it online because i am not in Canada. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how i can view this movie?

And i was so sad to learn H. Stanton died in a car accident. we have not seen the movie and we feel touched by her. i hope someone has a suggestion for me.

[Hunny]

Brittfly,
Please know that not everyone dis' us here or in real life. It's just a social forum. I read your comments before and after edit. But it's good to hear the experts in this movie, so I hope you get to see the whole thing and then her death won't be in vain. I'm still kinda pissed about her death though.

Originally Posted by brittfly

i can't believe she just died. I don't knw what to say. I went to the movie trailor and listened to the experts and am so excited to "meet" them in the movie. So sad how life can go. I am glad she was able to do this movie and help others!!

[Hunny]

Bmeyeho2,

I don't know how you can watch it across border, sorry. Maybe someone else knows.

She died in a car accident but hopefully her legacy will live on, like they talk about in the blurb above. I was trying not to focus on the fact that I'd met her in person and was so excited to finally meet someone in person and was even able to give her a hug. It certainly was more important to me than to her at that moment, smile, funny how it goes.

Although I don't know what happened in the car accident I do know that it is important that alters that can drive only do the driving and that can be an important focus too. Here is us all taking care and hope you can find a way to see this movie.

Originally Posted by Bmeyeho2

Oh i am so late to find this information. i am having trouble finding the movie. I cannot view it online because i am not in Canada. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how i can view this movie?

And i was so sad to learn H. Stanton died in a car accident. we have not seen the movie and we feel touched by her. i hope someone has a suggestion for me.

[Bmee2]

Thank you Hunny, i will continue to be on the look out for the movie. i might even write to the CBS people.

[Hunny]

You mean to get it carried on CBS? You will need to give them the CBC link then, maybe it is on the website.

here it is: http://whenthedevilknocks.com/photo-wall/

I also have just finished watching the 1st series called United States of Tara. I banned that show from my experience when I first heard about it being a comedy (it's got some funny bits) but it is not a comedy. When I first started watching it, the bleeped out swearing put me off at first, not b/c of the bleep but b/c there seemed to be so much swearing, even though I swear and have, at times, sworn a lot.

Anyways, once I got passed my (self)editor I did watch it. As a matter of fact it was on last night for four hours and I watched the whole damn thing over, in one sitting. it's pretty true to real, in my opinion, and makes lots of social commentary but I am wondering what the 2nd series will have to say...like is there a conclusion or what? 'Cause I sure know my life is going on and on, not like H. Stanton, in this movie documentary, she's gone .

They, the TV show and film, are just two different ways of expressing how it is and they are both valid, trying to break the stigma and shame and yet showing it how it is, sort of.

In my/our case the husband got very sick, when our children were very small, unlike Tara's husband who is still there (the kids are teens). But, in his own way, our husband is very amazing too, even though he has become abusive toward us (due to his own illness).

H. Stanton has left behind this legacy, though, to show us all that there is a way through the 'bad stuff' and we owe her a great deal.

One has to become kind of spiritual or Philosophical about things, at times and give it away, as it all becomes too much and so may she rest in peace and those around her be comforted.