[babycds]

MY boyfriend has DID. He is himself most of the time, which is nice because I have BPD and he understands how to make me feel better. But when he is not himself, when he is Thorn (the REALLY mean one) or Sventas (the nonchalant one) it's different. Is there any reason he becomes thorn 95% of the time? When he is Thorn, he is VERY aggressive towards me and also very rude. I try my best to just stay calm but it is hard when he is yelling and punching walls and just not being himself. He even went as far as disappearing and acting like his brother to tell me that he (my boyfriend) was dead. Why does he become someone else?

Also, I was wondering if this causes you to believe things that aren't true. Like you believe that one of your dreams was real. He believes he is a werewolf. He has this story that is so vivid but could only be a dream. I asked him once if he was 100% sure it happened, and he got really offended and stormed out. I try asking him questions to help understand better, but he won't answer. Thank you so much in advance for the help. I love him so much and I can't abandon him because he won't abandon me, unless he's Thorn.

I'm sorry if I'm ignorant...

Please help.

[Lillyleaf]

Your not ignorant dont ever think that. Other people are had to understand throwing away the past, or mental illness in general and adding that in makes it harder.
The answer to why It depends what you mean. Why in general would be because of survival. It in the end helps people with DID survive. When you go on auto pilot or day dream or something to keep your mind off of things it is the general basis of why. Some people think it's something that you just get stuck doing like a habbit. They think this because dissociation in general is a thing everyone does. What you want to believe is up to you of corse. So the quick answer is because he has to survive. Most people find that if someone is stressed out becoming someone else happends more often. Sometimes it helps just to not be there for a while other times it complicates things.
Your second question is a bit harder. I find it sometimes hard to tell what's real and what's in my head. I also know that inside I have my own "world" that some people with DID have and other dont. This can translate to believing things that arn't realistic. I am not sure what is going on here because everyone is very diffrent.

I am glad you want to help him. best thing I find is to be supportive. Understand that when he becomes someone else it isn't him. Learn about the other two possibly could help I know my Alters like to be treated as diffrent people then me and hate feeling like they are simply not real. Hang in there and keep supporting him. The most importent thing is to be suppotive and dont juge.

hope this helps,

~Lillyleaf~

[blackrainbow]

hi my names jadis i live in a DID system
just wanted to say him saying hes a werewolf
might not be a dream at all he might be just that
theres all sort of people inside some systems theres
animals as well we have a dragon protector some of
the animals speak we have soem that can be a person
and an animal as well every DID system is different
whats real to you out here it aint the only reality
and as for why does he change switch well depends
whats going on in his life he might be real stressed
he might have gotten triggered by something can be
anythign liek a sound smell somethign he saw maybe
hes havign memories maybe bad dreams never know
maybe those 2 guys he switches with maybe they
are the most active dunno hope yall are ok and hope ive
not confused you more
jadis

[Irine]

They are integrated parts of him, though, If he "himself" was be capable of becoming a little aggressive when he felt like it - he would n`t need Thorn...

Is he in therapy?

Have you ever tried to ask Thorn and Sventas where they are coming from? and What do they want?
There are ego alters which are a dealing mechanism...just like i said above about aggression. and there are fuge alters.

There are people who can`t deal with trauma or extreme stress and - especially at night - develop habits of traveling or something...sometimes others don`t even feel it. People with Fugue are found traveling away and often confused about their identity. Now - this usually is said to have nothing with DID unless it repeats itself. Then - a full identity can for from this. ....I just know my Fugue alters...that`s why i say it- ego alters have somewhat different function.

They are all born from the need to survive...to be distracted. That`s the common thing. I agree with lilly leaf.

From their names they sound like they are more of fugue alters - but you never know...just by the name. But if they are Fugue alters they will know. They might awaken and let go...they are very intelligent beings.

I am happy for your boyfriend. BTW i know how it feels to be with BPD and have these horrible attackes from someone loved. You are doing great. keep it up.

[babycds]

thank you guys SO much. He is in therapy and I will take all of you suggestions and help into consideration. It is making sense now. Thank you so much, I'll let you know how he's doing from time to time(: THANK YOU <333