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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 01, 2006 at 10:53 AM
#1
I cant. Theres people out there in cyber space and in 3D who know how to anhialate me. Any time they want they know where I am and how to destroy me. One of them is my mother.
another one was a superior at work who fooled me into doing what he wanted, used me and now just menaces me every couple weeks. another one is out there that was a friend I trusted but the rules were too many and didnt work both ways so now hes just out there and silent. I cant live in fear any more. Waiting for the ambush. I wont. Kathy (happy new year if i dont see you petunia) .gif)
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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19 23 hugs
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Jan 01, 2006 at 11:03 AM
#2
((((((((((((((kathy)))))))))))))))))
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
Posts: 7,878
19 14 hugs
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Jan 01, 2006 at 11:04 AM
#3
Please remember you always have a safe place here, we truely care without this forum how can we stay grounded you my friend help me though those bad time and probably didn't know
{{{{{hugs if wanted}}}}}}} __________________  A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2005
Posts: 1,736
19
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Jan 01, 2006 at 11:25 AM
#4
{{{{Kathy}}}}}
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Posts: 10,842
19 965 hugs
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Jan 01, 2006 at 02:10 PM
#5
(((((((((((Kathy)))))))))))) We care so much for you. You are so important and so worth the fight you are fighting. Thank you for allowing us glimses into your life. I wish you so much peace and protection for the new year and a year free from fear.
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 01, 2006 at 02:49 PM
#6
thank you guys so much but Im good with deciding I AM NOT WAITING for it this time- the last time- I will call my own shots and make my own rules and CHOOSE my own time!
IN MY HANDS Im done being told Im bad for saying ouch when my toes get stomped on- even ouch but i know it wasnt on purpose- even that benefit of the doubt still is unacceptable behavior to say IM HURT AND YOU DID IT- nope- i dont get these rules and so im not in this any more. My own time my own way. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2005
Location: waaaaay out west
Posts: 841
18
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Jan 01, 2006 at 02:53 PM
#7
KA,
do whatever you need to for your safety. even if that means a break from these forums. we wish to see you taking care of yourself/ves and not available to be anyone's whipping girl. stay strong lady. __________________ __zh |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 01, 2006 at 02:59 PM
#8
its NOT about these forums or anybody here- really youve all been great-
Im out of the whole mess in general- the race Im taking the anhialation and suspense into my own hands because anything is better than waiting for it- Be well all and take care |
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2005
Location: waaaaay out west
Posts: 841
18
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Jan 01, 2006 at 03:04 PM
#9
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Theres people out there in cyber space and in 3D who know how to anhialate me. Any time they want they know where I am and how to destroy me. One of them is my mother. another one was a superior at work who fooled me into doing what he wanted, used me and now just menaces me every couple weeks. another one is out there that was a friend I trusted but the rules were too many and didnt work both ways so now hes just out there and silent. I cant live in fear any more. Waiting for the ambush. I wont. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> it stinks that ppl can create so much havoc and nuisance in our lives just with a few keystrokes or pushes of phone buttons. we know you to be a survivor and serious kicker of ***** when needed. we'll hope to see you again when the time is right. __________________ __zh |
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Posts: n/a
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Jan 01, 2006 at 03:48 PM
#10
(happy new year if i dont see you petunia)
Love and peace to you, Kathy. You're in my thoughts but more importantly, my heart. Petunia
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Posts: n/a
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Jan 01, 2006 at 04:43 PM
#11
(((Kathyanita))))
Please be safe. Worried for you; know how things can seem impossible and overwhelming. Caroline |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 01, 2006 at 04:56 PM
#12
you know- its to the end stage where Id just rather see my own self out of this place then to wait dumb and blind for the kick.
Too tired and shamed to wait for the blow- i rather do it to myself and see it coming and pick the time. Been here before of course - but I cant stand the being part of being here again- anymore. Life and death can hang in the use of the language - its a tool thats hideous and also gorgeous and also cuasative and emotive and deadly. I am a fool to have gone near it and tried my voice. I want to be gone and without a trace of documentary evidence that i ever came through here. Thats my choice. Not possible to erase the evidence of a life but the other I CAN do. I have that right. Peace. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
(SuperPoster!)
20 1,651 hugs
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Jan 01, 2006 at 05:58 PM
#13
Boundaries are good. Put them up as high as you need to - to be safe right now. You're right about now being able to live in fear... it really takes it's toll on a person. TC
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Posts: n/a
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Jan 01, 2006 at 07:24 PM
#14
I do hear what you are saying. It scares me because it is a path i walk parallel to at the moment.
Evidence that you have been here cannot be eliminated, as you say. Even documentary evidence cannot easily be eliminated, and the evidence of the concern and love others have for you will remain. I know it can feel like a cruel tie at times. I know when times are worst that just checking out how I am feeling helps, even just speaking it. I hope that is true for you. Thinking positive thoughts for you - which is easier than thinking them for myself! Peace to you too. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
19 |
Jan 01, 2006 at 09:45 PM
#15
Kathy I am concerned for you. I think I understand what you are saying. The waiting to be ambushed is as hard at times as the fight. Is there any way to avoid these ambushers that is safe for you?
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2005
Location: cedar
Posts: 2,352
19 151 hugs
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Jan 02, 2006 at 10:23 PM
#16
You are in my thoughts a lot since you first started this thread. I find myself feeling really anxious and nervous about what I want to say here, but will give it a try.
I read what you wrote as suicidal. Are you? If I am reading you incorrectly, please let me know. With what you are going through, can we help? Can you let us know what help if any would be welcome? If venting and being listened to works, that is cool. Can you use some suggestions? Even though I feel like I'm sort of vulnerable by writing all this, I have to. I can't tiptoe around possible danger time. Are you in danger? Sarah __________________ |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Posts: 10,842
19 965 hugs
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Jan 03, 2006 at 08:31 AM
#17
((((((((((((((kathyanita)))))))))))))))
Thinking of you this morning, hoping you are okay. I'm so sorry you are hurting. Hope to hear from you soon. __________________
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 03, 2006 at 11:32 PM
#18
I REAKLY cant stand this. I playing by all the rules at the mercy of wgatever the rules but damn still get no reassurance like playing freaking peek a boo- like now you see me now you dont.
Honest to god this will certainly make me insane. I tried. Im trying but dam! Some people have NO CHARITY and its like i shouldve followed my gut in the first place. I hope this was fun. I love being friends with people who dont let you say antything thats not absolute freaking sweet approval. im going to go in for more electricity cause id rather be flatline than in suspaense!. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
19 |
Jan 03, 2006 at 11:40 PM
#19
Kathy?? I am trying hard to understand. Please help me to.
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 1,300
19 |
Jan 03, 2006 at 11:55 PM
#20
Im sorry- its just theres no reason to trust that im not bein spied on right here. i have to go so far underground i hit china.
or just stop at the first 6 feet and lie down and rest finally. |
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