Seeking advice or words of encouragement

I don't know if the lifeform that calls himself fadedspirit has any friends, but maybe someone may listen and not stand in judgement against this lifeform. I've done nothing wrong, yet I am condemned to this body and I do as I must to preserve this life form from harm. I am known as Beast. I accept most of his judgements and do not step forth, normally. I've locked us in a room once again because the outsiders have become increasingly mistrusted and elusive in what they consider as a means of help and have caused this life form to lose control. I don't understand why people in a position of help and education have to torture this frail life form. What's worse is the fact that he lets them talk down to him like he's a failure and he says nothing in his defense except to let his evil pet Rage out. It enrages me to no end to know that he forces me back whe he should be letting me step up.

He's just graduated from school with a 3.7 gpa, has 2 national certifications, a 2 year degree and a plethora of skills as well as a vast hunger for learning.
I understand that looking for a job is no easy task for anyone, though I have never tried myself. His instructor at the workshop that he goes to decides to berate him for not looking hard enough for work today and yet she takes an hour from his time that he's supposed to be helping himself to berate him more, commenting on the way he looks and acts. She tells him he needs to be aggresive and learn how to step on others to get to what he wants. This undermines every effort that I have given him to fit in to normal human life. Moreover, he stands there to be degraded by this person, and I use that term very loosely. Then he forces me to be silent while he attempts to digest the foul things that are done to him. He has told me many times before that he feels those times when hes about to shut his emotions down, Spirit and I have worked very hard to keep these times to a minimum. I am very afraid for this life form because for the very first time, I felt the electrical tingles across his head and his body go cold. Though he has tried for help in the past, he has never gotten the correct help that he needs. They have always let his dissociations dictate their decisions for him. If I could find any advice to help him, I would be greatful, though he would probably be angry and hurt with me for asking or even writing here, but this is the only place that I know where he goes to speak his mind or maybe even the only place that he goes where others may know him. I thank you for lending your eyes and heart for reading. If you reply, reply to me, Beast, so he will know it was me that is lookiing for his help.

Dear Beast,

I heard you very clearly, and I hear your frustration and your need to protect Faded Spirit. I'm so sorry that people are cruel to him and invalidating his work and his beautiful and creative mind and spirit. I have read his poetry and was moved by the things he had to say. Often people that feel deeply have the biggest hearts and are the most easily hurt and have the hardest times putting up the right kinds of barriers to let the love in and keep the bitter ugly people out. Often it is hardest for us to keep our empathy from not overwhelming us as well. I'm so glad that he has you to help him sometimes.

The only things that I can really think of would be the right type of therapist or perhaps even more would be the right type of life coach. It might take some looking to find a good fit..but it might really be a great idea if you can find one that is more of a Feeler to help relate to Faded Spirit and also help to guide him in relationships and finding the right position to best utilize his gifts and such...It's just one idea to stew on..I'm sure some of our other friends will have great ideas..

Take care Beast...I admire and honour you and Faded Spirit very much. If Sam is around..say Hi for me as well.

You probably don't like hugs..if you do..they are there for you, nice friendly ones..if not, that's cool..gentle wishes for your success in bringing Faded Spirit the healing and hope he deserves. I hope I am there to witness it through your words and his.

Wysteria Blue

Thank you for your reply Wysteria. I will pass the information you have given to Spirit, since he is the brains of our little family of misfits. I'm sure he will be able to understand better than I. Cyber hugs do not bother me, so I will accept, thank you. I will relay your message to Sam as well. Thank you again.

I'm so sorry for all of this beast. I admire you for the strength and courage you have in helping faded. I wish I had advice to give but Im the host and I'm the one who goes into hiding i'm the weak one here who needs others to take my place when I shut down. The moment the words go through my mind "this is too much, I can't handle any more" someone comes out. Less now that I'm more able to control it but the shut down is their sign that it's time to come out and I thank them so much every time they do.

The only advice I could give would be advice from a hosts perspective... From my own really since no two situations are the same. Something I want from those within... Even if I fight it... I want them to come forward and I want them to stand up when I want to back down. But I know that they are here to help, he may not be so knowledgable on the DID I don't know. I would say to just keep giving him support, keep encouraging him to step forward and stop this chaos that surrounds him. Encourage him to gain the strength and courage that you have and if he doesn't have a way to find it, offer to stand in for him. Eventually he should budge. Things work much easier if there are no arguments and no ultimatums and no degrading. Speaking honest deep felt words works the best in getting the message across.

For some of us (speaking mostly on my own behalf) it's a lot more difficult than most realize to stand up for ourselves. Maybe it's a lack of self worth, maybe it's a fear of what will happen or maybe we are just weak but it is difficult. The more we are pushed, if it is in a harrassing or intense way, the more we can back off. This is my situation though and more than likely does not relate in this situation. Just wanted to give you another possibility to look at.

I really admire you for all that you do for your host. You are on the right path and hopefully one of these days soon he will jump on the waggon with you. The best of luck and take care!

Sigh. Please let me send fadedspirit a hug.

(((((((((( fadedspirit )))))))))))

Beast,

Is is a coincidence you write? There is much we have to do for so called Hunny that we just know is not working and yet we feel her reaching out. We came when needed and she thinks she may not need us in the same way as before, so the thing is we are trying to communicate with her regarding this matter, yet in the meantime she does get trompled on.

Thank you Beast for finding your way to share yourself with us...Hunny here. It's hard and yet I am trying to dialogue with them, become more assertive outwardly and give them duties suited to their strength.

Please pass on my utmost respect to Faded and here is hoping the inner dialogue/wisdom will come to you all and to myself.

Hunny etal

Thank you Beast.
Thank you for sharing, and for helping FadedSpirit.FadedSpirit is well liked and admired by me, as well as by many others here.
It sounds like so many great accomplishments have been achieved! Congratulations on such wonderful academic achievements!!!
It sounds like the instructor is just plain giving bad advice. Or, just possibly, it is being interpreted more harshly than it is really intended to be taken? Maybe the instructor recognizes all the great potential in FadedSpirit, and just wants to make sure it all goes to good use? I only suggest this because we sometimes interpret things said to us in this way.
Otherwise, if the instructor is simply modeling poor behavior, we encourage you and FadedSpirit to put it aside, and continue conducting yourself in a manner in which you find productive and beneficial. Stay true to what you believe to be the correct way to behave. Searching for employment is indeed very difficult and stressful, but it can be worth it to wait for the right opportunity, and to get the opportunity in a way you can feel proud of. No matter what anyone else says.
~ Emma

Hi Beast

Good for you for taking the time to write here and ask for help and support for yourself and for faded. It really shows how much you care and how much you are trying to help him be strong.

I have always enjoyed faded's posts and poems. He has such a wonderful way with words and he makes it so easy to understand him. I really like fadedspirit and I like you too Beast!

I don't know if you and faded and others get together to have discussions or meetings at all. I'm wondering if you can do that with faded so that you can all learn more about each other and bring to the table how you think you can help faded navigate his way through the difficulties of life. I wonder if you can all discuss things calmly, you can all come to some understandings about what is needed and when so that there are less stressful times inside when it's really stressful outside. I believe that faded and everyone inside can learn a lot from each other and that's a good thing!

I don't know if what I suggested could work for you now. I do hope you can find a way of maneuvering through life's difficulties with less stress. I know it's hard sometimes.

I wish you well and fadedspirit and the others too. Please take good care of yourselves!


sabby

beast,
just want to send you all cyber hugs. we to are trying to learn how to work together and stay strong.

I'd like to tell everyone thanks for your support and encouragement to this post. At first I was very upset with Beast comming out and asking for help, due to past circumstances I tend to keep things inside and let them go their own way in time. Once again, It has been proven to me that at least there's a few people in the world that care and I thank you for helping me to see what my companions couldn't help me to see. I know it's a hard road to travel, but with others to help light the way it makes the trip easier to bear. Take care everyone and I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving. Fadedspirit