Is it absolutely necessary to do this at some point? I read somewhere that it's a part of accepting that you have other parts of you. I know from reading my other entries that on occasion I refer to my system as "We", but I really hate the term and don't prefer it be used.

Can I go about "accepting" my system without having to use "we". It just doesn't sound okay. I despise the term "we". It makes me cringe. It's not a "we" or an "us". It would mean I have to work together with others or heavens take responsibility for THEIR actions and that's not okay.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

Is it absolutely necessary to do this at some point? I read somewhere that it's a part of accepting that you have other parts of you. I know from reading my other entries that on occasion I refer to my system as "We", but I really hate the term and don't prefer it be used.

Can I go about "accepting" my system without having to use "we". It just doesn't sound okay. I despise the term "we". It makes me cringe. It's not a "we" or an "us". It would mean I have to work together with others or heavens take responsibility for THEIR actions and that's not okay.

no its not necessary. its one of those things that vary from person to person, from alter to alter. some say it and some dont. saying "we" isnt a sign of acceptance of the disorder or the alters.

most if not all DID people that I know that have said "we" before diagnosis. for them it was a sign that there was some co consciousness (the host and alters know each other were there) an automatic response kind of thing.

After diagnosis people call their system of alters many things "we" "them" "they" "all of us" "the team" " the munchkins" as a designation when talking in therapy, a way to stop the confusion and way to avoid saying each of the alters names...

example when referring to one alter I would avoid saying their name and call them "she" or "we". I did not accept this alter and did not accept what that alter did. I did not approve of what that alter was doing, saying or what memories they held. and I did not accept the responsibility of what that alter did. the alter chose to go to bars, get drunk and what ever else she did. I did not have any part of making that alters plans activities.

for me saying "we apparently went to the bar last night" was like when a doctor or parent says " So how are we today" or "we do not do that, that is not acceptable" the doctor and parents dont literally mean they are included in the conversation. saying we was just a parenting or treatment technique.

which may also be why some people who have DID call their self we... because their parents always referred to their childs actions as "we are going to do this.." or " we dont do that..." they grew up hearing their self referred to as "we" so they do it out of habit.

theres all kinds of reasons why a person mentally disordered or not refers to their self as "we". for some its habit, for others its acceptance, for some its sarcasm, for some its wanting to be like other people that refer to their self as "we".... its all individualized... each person has their own reason for doing saying it or not.

[Lexi232]

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't..
For this shell, it depends on who is talking/writing/thinking/typing and what their prefrences is. But I dont say "we" or "us" because it causes someone to raise questions.. and i'm keeping within hidding. while the others... well that's their choice.. but... *Shrugs*

[Claritytoo]

I have referred to myself as we for a long time but not in front of other people. I would say "come on we got to get going" I always rationalized it away as a reference to me, myself and I. "We" never felt odd to me. But I was conscious of what people would think so I didn't use that word in public.
After my diagnosis of DID I was overly aware of my use of the word and I stopped doing it. It is only recently that I have began using "we" again when talking about myself.

Wouldn't say its necessary. Just personal preference. As a child, I used to accidently say "we" at times. My dad would tease, "We? You got a mouse in your pocket?"

[RapidFlyer]

In my book "we" was a personal preference. It was never necessary or particularly significant. "we" ran around saying we for years and never knew it. Thought it was normal and no one seemed to care.

It wasn't till therapy that it became an "Issue" whether or not I used we or I or us or them or they or it or you or Whatever........ ad nauseum.

The heck with it. I/we/they/call it/us/them whatever/whoever/ is out calls us.

good enough for the way we work.

Good enough for the way I work.

Good enough for all of us. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Do what is right for you. Best Wishes

unless we dont know the person we always say "we"-its a personal choice but not necessary

[Bmee2]

We started using we as a way of including everyone. The main host was trying to remove the barriers between all of us. One way the T suggested was to write in a journal and try to include everyone even the ones that were scary and unknown. Thus "we" has become a way of trying to unite us all even when we are not united. If you do not like it. By all means do not use that pronoun. Just be tolerant of those who do use . thank you and hope you are not offended in anyway.

[Tosspot]

I use the term "I" to refer to what is contained in my physical body. No one inside can argue with that.