Confuzzled about what and how to write...

Been feeling a lot more unreal these days...honestly right now it is taking a lot of effort to just write this...certain parts of me don't wanna write at this time...but this part of me really feels as though it is necessary...we don't feel like we have much to look forward to doing these days...and we feel very trapped in a physical image that is unacceptable to society...along with the constant stigma of having mental illnesses...so we feel even more fragmented than usual...mistery is not sure even where to begin...we feel soo angrywith the things that we don't even know happened or not...and we feel as though there is a part of me that made this whole thing up...and that i for some reason created all this mess...Oooh...soo very angry i amand i am soo scared to let my anger be seen because i don't wanna affect anyone else...i am feeling that intense rage toward myself for feeling rage toward other people...and for me i know this is a dangerous sign...honestly i am really looking forward to seeing my T tomorrow...i know it will definitely ware me out...but it is worth the fatigue after each session...on a more upbeat note and not so angry or depressing...i remembered what today was...that is the other thing that bothers me...time...it bothers me a lot that i never know what time it really is...and sometimes i just don't wanna acknowledge that it even exists...so then maybe i could see things a little differently...or not have to feel rushed or feel like the day is dragging...so on and so forth...well i think i did quite well in my writing assignment...and i got a lot off my chest...take care all who read this...and thank you for reading my nonsensical ramblings...brought to you in part by:Lani

It's good that you got it off your chest. I think most of us here can relate to what you're going through on a lot of levels. Feeling bad and guilty about our situation makes us feel worse about ourselves, even we try not let it and don't want to feel hurt or to hurt anyone else. The only thing that keeps me from feeling sad and angry all the time is when I can remember that we didn't ask for bad things to happen and we did the best we could to protect ourselves when we weren't able to get away or fight back. I hope you had a good session with your T and I hope you feel better about things, if not now, soon.

(((safety hugs)))

Thanks for sharing and talking about what is going on. Have a good session with your T tomorrow and stay safe tonight.

I will send positive energy your way that you may get through the night peacefully if at all possible.

May the peace and bounty of the world be yours.