Uncomfortable, something is coming...

ever know when something/someone is going to make an appearance soon by the way you feel?

All day to day I feel this sense of impending.. not doom , more like mental instability. And I have been doing so good too for the last couple weeks..

Now Im sick with pneumonia and its making baby REAL upset, she doesnt understand why its hard to breath and why were so warm..

I feel like Im slipping farther and farther away and losing my grip on myself and someone else is going to take over, and I can barely handle this myself as it is. I KNOW Baby can't..

*frustrated*

(((((((((((((((((((((((Rainbowzz))))))))))))))

Hang in there. I hope you are physically and mentally feeling better very soon!

Anne

For Baby!

Thanks Anne

Your post made us smile.

maybe I should brainstorm some ways to keep her busy while were sick.

any ideas guys?

You could read her a story. That won't take a lot of energy or drain you and she would probobly enjoy the quiet time with you.
Anne
but no jumping on the bed! ha!ha!

hehe

shh! you'll put ideas in our head just kidding.

Story - good idea! I have recently drug out some Fraggle Rock books, those should do.

We also made a special bed downstairs near the fish tank and the computer and the t.v. so that we don't have to go to far.

OOOww I used to have a fish tank. I loved watching the little fishies and making their world pretty. Imagining living suspended in water world: riding a stream of bubbles to tickle my fancy.....

I have little changes and big changes. The little changes happen all the time with no warning. But, before a biggie I get sorta raw and edgy and loose my grounding. I haven't found any way to speed up, slow down or otherwise interrupt the shifting.....

When I'm thinking clearly I try to sort it all out mentally and make plans to take better care of myself in the future-- whatever that means at a given time.

my memory pieces don't feel the health problems I have in the present.

They are pieces of my memories of the past that were separated and stored that way. And when I get triggered by something in the present to the point where I go into my la la land, I am physically on autopilot rerunning the memory pieces.

For example if I wasnt sick when the memory piece known as Mary was separated in the past, then today when I get triggered into the Mary memory piece I am not sick.

Totally thows a firend for a loop cause I can one minute sound all stuffy headed from my alergies here from the dogwood tree in the front yard and the next while in a memory piece my stuffy nose is clear because where I grew up there were no dogwood trees. She says sometimes thats how she can tell when I have switched form the here and now to talking to her as Mary, Katherine and so on. Now in the present I am allegic to peanut butter but I wasn't as a kid so if I eat a peanut butter sandwhich in the present I'll break out in a rash. If I eat the peanut butter sandwhich while in a memory piece I don't break out into a rash. When I broke a bone in my foot I was still able to walk on it because I just went to la la land. When I got hit by a car as long as I stayed in la la land and left my friend with my memory pieces I felt fine even though I tore the ligaments and stuff in my knee from the fall. When I go to the dentist I end up with about 5 novacane shots because I will get the shot then the drills and so on triggers me into memory pieces. Each time I switch memory pieces since I didn't recieve the first novacane while in each of the memory pieces its like I never got any novacane shot.

When I am in memory pieces I can only do the things that are contained in that memory piece. This comes in real handy like on days like today. I have a sore throat. So every time I wanted a break from it I just went into my tunnel area or la la land.

But I can now tell when new memories are coming up. It took a few months of keeping track on some of my charts that I keep but eventually a pattern showed through. I don't get too keyed up my reactions are more in my sleep schedule starts changing because I start having nightmares that I can't remember when I wake up, and the harder flash backs start coming, and they increase for a few days until they settle in and just keep coming until I figure them out.

With the flashbacks I found a pattern in them also - I start getting a dizzy foggy feeling kind of like that feeling you get when you hit your funny bone (elbow) a minute or two before they hit.

interesting! I wish I was like that too, lol It sounds quite handy!

You know though, I was also quite sick as a child with pneumonia and tonsillities, I missed almost a year of school in grade two because of it. Basically I was just frail...

I wonder if maybe that is why the peices I have can feel yet yours do not? Perhaps the sickness in itself is triggering memories of being ill?

hmmm..

I think another reason that your insiders are aware of illness (at least some) is that they have more awareness of y'all "today" which is actually a very good thing!!!

i hope you're feeling better.

kd

<font color="purple">Yes, in so many levels..
((((((((rainbowzz)))))))) feel better soon and (((((((baby)))) may she gain understanding and comfort..... </font>

thanks everyone feeling a bit better today!

went to doc and he changed our puffers and that is helping quite a bit. Much more settled, not as hard to breath today. Also got a new, much stronger antibiotic since the penecillin did absolutely nothing.

Also got income tax refund yesterday! just over a thousand dollars! Wow!

as a treat on the way home from the doctor's office for us we got some soil and seeds and are going to grow some cilantro and sweet basil, they look very pretty not to mention edible.

When stressed, plant things I always say.

lol, the only problem with that is it takes me like half an hour to water everything haha!

Thanks everyone

((((everyone))))))

KD - What an uplifting thought! Thank you!

yup could be some of those memory pieces of yours has those memories of the pneumonia and tonsils problems.

like kimmydawns reasons too. Your memory content may now include the present.

I know this works, especially if your therapist has been working with you on deprogramming techniques used for changing memory content then those memory pieces. Whatever is deprogrammed (take out) or reprogramed (put in) into that memory content is what you experience. My past therapist and I had to deprogram a violent memory piece because while I was in a violent memory peice I threw a table at her. After many sessions of being triggered into that memory piece because I was not co conscious during the rerunning that memory piece I no longer throw tables when in that memory piece.

well, I am not too far into therapy right now. So I am thinking it may be a smaller bit of KD's response, and a larger bit of my suggestion.

However, I appear to be on the mend. I even got up and cleaned for a few minutes earlier.