[Claritytoo]

I recently returned to work after being out for over two months. I am jumping in and out. One minute I am ok and the next I am ranting about something. The other day my joyful one showed up for a few minutes. Than I was back to ranting. I am also trying to learn a new part of the job but I know it one minute and am completely lost the next. I am expected to do this new work on my own. I don't see that happening. I had a panic attack a few days ago. I haven't had one of those in over a year. Thank god I had medication or I would have ended up at the emergency room. I have to work. I need the money. But I can't get everyone to settle down. For over two months everyone would come and go as they pleased. But now they have to fall in line in order for me to work. Just putting this into words makes my mind feel like it is going to explode. I don't know how to explain what is happening to me. But if I didn't know I had DID I would think I had gone insane. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I explained some of this to my t but she is on the outside looking in. I sometimes think she doesn't understand the depth of my confusion and fear. Between the two I exist.

[cryingoutloud1]

I get it. I don't know what to tell you about your therapist not understanding it. May be she can help you with getting only one person to come out for work. and help with some coping skills for the anxiety.

[Roseheart101]

Hi Claritytoo,

I just started a new job too. I am having similar problems. One minute I know something and the next minute I don't. I know someone well and then I can't remember their name. Once when I was entering data, a typed a complete sentence two times in a row without noticing it till later. I will put a piece of paper in a binder and a few minutes later, I can't find it in the binder. Sometimes I almost forget a task (or completely forget it and remember at the last moment) that must be done by a certain time.

To cope, I make lots of lists, over and over again. I put postit notes with peoples names inside my desk drawers. I keep extras of everything. I am hoping that after time all the parts of me will know how to do the job, but in the mean time, I make some blunders.

I just keep smiling and faking and trying. I wish you luck. Be kind to yourself. You are very bright and very talented. You can do it.