[Claritytoo]

29 years ago I had a bad dream that I did something that was awful to another person. I remembered it so clearly that I thought I might have done it and was actually remembering it and that it was not a dream. Today I told my t. It was emotionally painful and I almost didn't do it. I cried like I have never cried in session before. I have never told anyone that dream. I think I switched multiple times while trying to tell the dream. My greatest fear was that the dream was a memory and not a dream. I felt I couldn't live with myself if it was true that I would have done something so awful. But I was never certain and I would never discuss it with anyone. After telling my t and discussing it I realize it was a dream. Just a dream. 29 years of fear that I might have hurt someone. I am thankful I told my t and she worked with me to think through the memory of the dream. I had so much fear attached to that dream that it kept me locked up in my mind. I am still processing the feelings and insights but I think I can move forward with other memories without the weight of that fear. I feel good in side.