[Bmee2]

Confused...crap cannot spell so hopefully this will make some kind of sensed. Today...first itme in a long time...those inside that joined or tolerated a SRA...will not explain that if you do not know. Too triggering. Anyway something was written to the new T. She read it to us. Freaked out when T said those part of the SRA were not welcome.
Now the hands are shaking so...the head hurts so badly...coould the body have a stroke?
what happenend?
Anyone with SRA know what happenend? Please for give alll of the misspelling.
Just bit the tongue....crap...band-aid is needed.
Sacare crap! Scared of the SRA inside...nauseated that T not welcome them too.
Trouble to attend now.
Happy they should be...absolutely no one will accept all of us...even many of us are not accepting of the SRA folks inside.
Damn that door closed so tightly.
hide the arm with a shhirt...but the head..maybe disapear.
crying so hard
see cannot the screen.
words may not be written
hard to briathe

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bmee2

Confused...crap cannot spell so hopefully this will make some kind of sensed. Today...first itme in a long time...those inside that joined or tolerated a SRA...will not explain that if you do not know. Too triggering. Anyway something was written to the new T. She read it to us. Freaked out when T said those part of the SRA were not welcome.
Now the hands are shaking so...the head hurts so badly...coould the body have a stroke?
what happenend?
Anyone with SRA know what happenend? Please for give alll of the misspelling.
Just bit the tongue....crap...band-aid is needed.
Sacare crap! Scared of the SRA inside...nauseated that T not welcome them too.
Trouble to attend now.
Happy they should be...absolutely no one will accept all of us...even many of us are not accepting of the SRA folks inside.
Damn that door closed so tightly.
hide the arm with a shhirt...but the head..maybe disapear.
crying so hard
see cannot the screen.
words may not be written
hard to briathe

unfortunately we cant tell you what happened what its all about...only you, your insiders and your treatment providers know what happened to you..

I can tell you that SRA is different for everyone, this group does things this way and that group of people do SRA a different way... just like there are different ways an abuser can hurt someone theres different ways for SRA too. it all depends on location, cultural background and what the belief system of those that put you through that believed..

the result is that just like everyone who has DID is affected in any number of ways, SRA can be done in many different ways and affect those going through it in many different ways...

my suggestion contact your treatment provider, she can explain what happened/ what the note to her stated and why she doesnt condone/doesnt agree with and doesnt want to be exposed to SRA...

speaking for my own treatment provider she didnt/doesnt want to be exposed to some forms of SRA because of the potential of harm to herself and to me, it took inpatient care for me, so that there was a secure and safe setting that could prevent any harm coming to me, my alters, my treatment providers...

Around here there are no out patient treatment providers that work with SRA type alters, partly because of the laws of this state around issues concerning someone being a danger to their self and others. to get help for this kind of thing the only avenue is inpatient here where I live and work, so know you are not alone and your treatment provider isnt the only one that refuses to work on SRA issues and refuses to be a part of associating with alters that are active in SRA movements / behaviors / events.

[Sprite~]

What is SRA?

satanic ritual abuse-and its not all that different no matter where its perfomed

Im so sorry you went thru that.
Our t works with sra thank goodness.
She works with all of our alters even those involved with woth the sra. All are welcome to talk to her. I will try to pm you some stuff shes written.

[Bmee2]

Trouble reading own post.
Trouble with SRA subject matter.
T triggered something.
All are welcome with new T
Recognized the moment she said, but was not able to reconnect with us. Telephoned T did.
See T today .
So sorry.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Sprite~

What is SRA?

some locations call it Sexualized Rutual Abuse, other locations call it Satanic Ritual Abuse, some locations call it Sexualized Religious Abuse, I have also encountered people who call it Sexualized Ritual Applications.

the basic premise is the same ...an abuser or group of abuser uses their religious beliefs as a form of sexual abuse, or the abuser or group of abusers commit the abuse in ritualistic ways.

it is different in that it happens with all kinds of religious beliefs.
it is also different as in depending upon location, cultural background, language the words have a different meaning..

Examples

here the words Ritual and Ritualistic can be something a person does repeatedly... an abuser can wash their victim to prepare them for the abuse, an abuser can have a beer each and every time they are abusing someone.. domestic violence abusers usually have a ritual of isolating their victims, and having a private form of abuse they do out in public that others would not recognize such as I know someone who's abusers ritual is to squeeze their victims hand while holding their hand. out in public this ritual looks harmless and caring but to the victim the minute that hand gets squeezed they knew a beating was waiting at home.

here where I live and work it is also used with many different religions. Sexual abuse happens with all forms of religion. Here at the crisis center where I work we see many victims of sexual abuse that was done out of the abusers religion and it covers all forms of religions not just satanic. Right now I have on my caseload a woman who's abuser used the catholic religion as a form of and to justify his sexual abuse against her.

SRA is also different in that not all satanic sects do things the same way. Some follow the moon phases, some follow dates, some even make up their own rules and rituals. its also different in that the people who commit SRA dont always use the same object/ code word/..to instill fear and co operation with their victims..not everyone is afraid of crosses and snakes, I was always catching snakes and other out door animals for pets and loved crosses. my abuser used a woolen sock, tennis ball and a fly swatter in his own made up Satanic rituals to instill fear and cooperation in me.

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by Bmee2

Confused...crap cannot spell so hopefully this will make some kind of sensed. Today...first itme in a long time...those inside that joined or tolerated a SRA...will not explain that if you do not know. Too triggering. Anyway something was written to the new T. She read it to us. Freaked out when T said those part of the SRA were not welcome.
Now the hands are shaking so...the head hurts so badly...coould the body have a stroke?
what happenend?
Anyone with SRA know what happenend? Please for give alll of the misspelling.
Just bit the tongue....crap...band-aid is needed.
Sacare crap! Scared of the SRA inside...nauseated that T not welcome them too.
Trouble to attend now.
Happy they should be...absolutely no one will accept all of us...even many of us are not accepting of the SRA folks inside.
Damn that door closed so tightly.
hide the arm with a shhirt...but the head..maybe disapear.
crying so hard
see cannot the screen.
words may not be written
hard to briathe

I am so sorry you have also been subjected to SRA. My T accepts all my parts even the ones that are SRA parts ( we are not actively in a cult) I was from age 1-19 But we were given drugs and stuff like programming,torture and hypnosis to keep us quiet and not remember the sick twisted things they did to and made us do... sorry it just infuriates me to know that there are real live sicko's out there doing stuff to kids,and some adults and there is no one policing them .If I did the things we have seen /been subjected to we would be serving time in a prison.......oooohhhh they make me so mad......sorry....I am mad for you Bemee2.....safe hugs....I am a survivor too pm me any time you want...life

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

(((bmee))) I'm so sorry you are hurting so much. You will get through this, just remind yourself the abuse is over. You are healing, even when it feels like you're slipping. Hang in there. Wish I knew how to take it all away

[Bmee2]

Everyone thank you so very much. My T is ever so nice and gentle. It was bound to happen...some kind of ....i do not know what to call it. Despite all efforts not to open us as we did with the former T who said good-bye over the phone, trust was happening. That plus the word or phrase she used sent everything in an upheaval.
Today just feeling panicky if that is such a state. Afraid to sleep...but practicing deep breathing and watching favorite old movies as a distraction.