[10/6]

Recently, I've been triggering like crazy, especially when out in public, and I'm really, really scared. Since I'm integrated I can't look to my system to protect me anymore and I have severe trust issues that have only become worse since integration.

When I couldn't take it anymore I called a close friend during a panic attack. I found out in the same phone call that another of his close friends had just committed suicide and he had learned of it that day. I think that hearing me over the phone made him afraid that I might do the same thing.

My other close friend just moved in with me temporarily and I have mentioned the panic attacks to him in passing. The problem is that he recently decided to get a sex change and is having to deal with the fall out from that decision.

I don't really think I can trust anyone with these attacks except for these two people, but because of their current problems I've had to hide these attacks and just how badly I'm falling apart.

On top of it all, my T retired so I can't really turn to her either.

I really don't know what to do and I'm really afraid of these triggers and I don't know why. I'm used to triggers, I know how to cope with them, but these are different and they really, really scare me.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by 10/6

Recently, I've been triggering like crazy, especially when out in public, and I'm really, really scared. Since I'm integrated I can't look to my system to protect me anymore and I have severe trust issues that have only become worse since integration.

When I couldn't take it anymore I called a close friend during a panic attack. I found out in the same phone call that another of his close friends had just committed suicide and he had learned of it that day. I think that hearing me over the phone made him afraid that I might do the same thing.

My other close friend just moved in with me temporarily and I have mentioned the panic attacks to him in passing. The problem is that he recently decided to get a sex change and is having to deal with the fall out from that decision.

I don't really think I can trust anyone with these attacks except for these two people, but because of their current problems I've had to hide these attacks and just how badly I'm falling apart.

On top of it all, my T retired so I can't really turn to her either.

I really don't know what to do and I'm really afraid of these triggers and I don't know why. I'm used to triggers, I know how to cope with them, but these are different and they really, really scare me.

what about using those coping tools you were taught while going through integration and before you were integrated? those same skills you used before you were integrated and during integration like grounding, breathing, positive self talk and other self nurturing skills can still help you.

one thing I had to learn after I integrated was that integration does not mean "ok Im all done now, everything I have learned over the years isnt needed anymore because everyone has been integrated with me now" I found out very quickly that even non DID people go through anxiety/panic attacks and integration didnt stop that problem for me. I still had to and still do have to use those same tools my treatment providers taught me including things like grounding, breathing, checking in with my treatment providers that prescribe my medications for my non DID issues like bipolar disorder, anxiety/panic disorders, PTSD.

my first step was check in with my medical doctor, my psychiatrist and therapist, then I got back to work using those things I thought I was done with like grounding, breathing, ...

you might also consider getting set up with a new therapist so that you have another avenue when you cant unload on your friends due to their own problems.

there is also an anxiety/panic board here on psych central, maybe reading some of the posts in there will give you some ideas of what non DID people do to handle their anxiety/panic problems, reading there has helped me many a night when my wife was out of town and I couldnt call on friends due to the time/their own problems or they were unreachable..

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by 10/6

Recently, I've been triggering like crazy, especially when out in public, and I'm really, really scared. Since I'm integrated I can't look to my system to protect me anymore and I have severe trust issues that have only become worse since integration.

When I couldn't take it anymore I called a close friend during a panic attack. I found out in the same phone call that another of his close friends had just committed suicide and he had learned of it that day. I think that hearing me over the phone made him afraid that I might do the same thing.

My other close friend just moved in with me temporarily and I have mentioned the panic attacks to him in passing. The problem is that he recently decided to get a sex change and is having to deal with the fall out from that decision.

I don't really think I can trust anyone with these attacks except for these two people, but because of their current problems I've had to hide these attacks and just how badly I'm falling apart.

On top of it all, my T retired so I can't really turn to her either.

I really don't know what to do and I'm really afraid of these triggers and I don't know why. I'm used to triggers, I know how to cope with them, but these are different and they really, really scare me.

I found this site on managing panic attacks. Once I was able to understand that my feeling of panic was a physiological event that caused my mind to have intrusive thoughts of danger, and than those thoughts would fuel the psychological feelings of panic, I was able to control the escalation of my feelings of panic by identifying them as a physical event not related to anything specific. And not an emotional event. That relieved me of intrusive thoughts of danger and stopped the cycle of panic.
It works with some practice. Below is the link

http://www.paniccure.com/Approaches/...Overcome-4.htm