[Rand.]

Hey all. I'm going to start out by saying I don't have any sort of official diagnosis for this. However, I strongly relate to the symptoms of depersonalization and derealization. I'm not sure if I have the disorder or not, that's not really why I'm posting.

I've had this chronically for the past 6 years. I'm wondering if anyone has some methods that help to make this world feel real again and not so dreamlike. Some exercises or meditation or... anything, really. I understand there isn't any real known "cure" for this, it's just that it seems that whenever I talk to mental health care professionals they seem to gloss it over as much as they can. Anyways, so yeah... Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to help lift the symptoms a little?

I will say they put me on an SSRI for anxiety and depression and the "feelings of being detached" which has significantly cut down the anxiety which is a bit of a god-send. However, I think they may also be making things feel foggier, more dreamlike and less real than even before which I didn't think was possible.

I have good reason to believe that this experience is, at the least partly, in response to gender dysphoria symptoms if that helps any.

Here's what I strongly relate to. You could probably skip this if you want It's just in case it is helpful at all... Some points I copied from other resources some are my own.

• I feel strange, as if I were not real.
• The world around me also feels strange as if it were not real.
• What I see looks ‘flat’ or ‘lifeless’, as if I were looking at a picture.
• When I weep or laugh, I do not seem to feel any emotions at all.
• I have the feeling that when I speak it feels as if my words were being uttered by an ‘automaton’.
• My surroundings feel detached or unreal, as if there was a veil between me and the outside world.
  Like a dream, or in a fog, perceiving visual darkness even if there isn’t.
• Nothing feels real. I feel like I am always asleep.
• It seems as if things that I have recently done had taken place a long time ago. For example anything which I have done this morning feels as if it were done weeks ago.
• I feel detached from memories of things that have happened to me – as if I had not been involved in them.
• Anomalies in subjective recall: memories lack emotion, seem like a dream, 3rd person viewpoint like watching a film
• Sometimes my thoughts and emotions do not feel like they are my own, but it’s as though I am peering into someone else’s ‘hard drive’ (someone else’s thoughts, but a very distant, lifeless feel to it like recalling something from a textbook).
• I feel like I'm watching someone else live life for me.

Sorry for such a long post... I'm just at my wits' end about this

[Travelinglady]

Alas, this topic is not my strong suit. I'm here checking for unanswered posts. Don't give up, though. Sometimes it just takes time for the right person to come along to respond.

I'm surprised that the professionals haven't been any more helpful. I assume you're seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist and have told them what you posted here.

[yellowted]

Originally Posted by Adespota

I will say they put me on an SSRI for anxiety and depression and the "feelings of being detached" which has significantly cut down the anxiety which is a bit of a god-send. However, I think they may also be making things feel foggier, more dreamlike and less real than even before which I didn't think was possible.

SSRI's made me feel awful, like i was in a bell jar looking out seing people going about their lives but not able to touch me or see me. they are good for some people but not for everyone.

I have good reason to believe that this experience is, at the least partly, in response to gender dysphoria symptoms if that helps any.

gender dysphoria seems to me to be a logical association as the feelings of being in the wrong body are very similar and ones you can associate with so may be what you are falling back on to express something else going on in your mind.


Here's what I strongly relate to. You could probably skip this if you want It's just in case it is helpful at all... Some points I copied from other resources some are my own.

• I feel strange, as if I were not real.
• The world around me also feels strange as if it were not real.
• What I see looks ‘flat’ or ‘lifeless’, as if I were looking at a picture.

i felt like this a few years ago, it is caused by big stresses being present

• When I weep or laugh, I do not seem to feel any emotions at all.

yep been there too, i think it is to do with cutting off emotions to protect yourself from hurt or something

• I have the feeling that when I speak it feels as if my words were being uttered by an ‘automaton’.

not experienced this so can't offer a comment

• My surroundings feel detached or unreal, as if there was a veil between me and the outside world.
  Like a dream, or in a fog, perceiving visual darkness even if there isn’t.
• Nothing feels real. I feel like I am always asleep.

sounds like my bell jar effect, i found this really strange, and this is what finally made me realise i was not ok and needed help.

• It seems as if things that I have recently done had taken place a long time ago. For example anything which I have done this morning feels as if it were done weeks ago.

i often find this, one of three things cause it, either i am really struggling with things so everything feels like it is taking forever to do, so by mid afternoon i can't even remember what i had for breakfast let alone what i did that morning, or i have done so much that my brain can't conceive that i have done it all in one day, or i have done one thing in the morning and then had a really slow boring afternoon, making it feel like i have done nothing for weeks!

• I feel detached from memories of things that have happened to me – as if I had not been involved in them.

this is a self preservation technique your brain uses to protect you.

• Anomalies in subjective recall: memories lack emotion, seem like a dream, 3rd person viewpoint like watching a film

I tend to have exceptionally precise and correct recall of things that happened over two weeks ago, things that happened in the last two weeks are still in the processing and filing procedure and can often not be retrieved until they reach the filing cabinet in my brain which takes two weeks. so i am unable to comment on your anomalies in recall though for a long time my only emotions were 'ok' and 'yucky'

• Sometimes my thoughts and emotions do not feel like they are my own, but it’s as though I am peering into someone else’s ‘hard drive’ (someone else’s thoughts, but a very distant, lifeless feel to it like recalling something from a textbook).

i think this is a self preservation thing brains do to protect their host in times of severe stress, i often feel like someone takes over when i get frustrated with my carers because i turn from the patient, caring person i usually am to a screaming shouting monster who will not listen to or accept any one elses reasoning!

• I feel like I'm watching someone else live life for me.

i used to feel like this until i decided to take back control of my life by first questioning what i was going to do and why, if it was something i felt was not what i wanted to do i did not do it, i then made sure every decision i made was a fully informed one especially those around my treatment, i then chose to became involved in the local disability and mental health groups to ensure i was up to date in my knowledge around treatments and local/governmental procedures in treatments, now i feel totally in control of my life except like i already said when i get frustrated with my carers. i think my carers do not like me being so in control of my life as most carers are used to dealing with people with deminished capacity so the carers can basically do what they want where with me they have to do what I want!


Sorry for such a long post... I'm just at my wits' end about this

i hope this helps, sorry i do not have any specific techniques that help, i found having someone just listen and acknowledge was all it took for me to begin the process of looking at my life and reassessing it. good luck x

[Rand.]

Originally Posted by yellowted

i hope this helps, sorry i do not have any specific techniques that help, i found having someone just listen and acknowledge was all it took for me to begin the process of looking at my life and reassessing it. good luck x

Sorry for taking so long to reply back. This really does help a lot, and thank you so much for such a detailed response! The acknowledgement helps a lot with the stress I've had over this. Maybe things will start coming together. I've been overwhelmed by everything but I hafta just believe things are just going to get better. Even if this is what I usually end up wanting to do --> Lol

i used to feel like this until i decided to take back control of my life by first questioning what i was going to do and why, if it was something i felt was not what i wanted to do i did not do it, i then made sure every decision i made was a fully informed one especially those around my treatment, i then chose to became involved in the local disability and mental health groups to ensure i was up to date in my knowledge around treatments and local/governmental procedures in treatments, now i feel totally in control of my life except like i already said when i get frustrated with my carers. i think my carers do not like me being so in control of my life as most carers are used to dealing with people with deminished capacity so the carers can basically do what they want where with me they have to do what I want!

This gave me an idea of something that might help me. It's worth a try anyways. I've found an object I can wear as a sort of "trigger". Use that object to help me meditate and focus on "reality" and say to myself "this is all real" etc. So once my mind is used to using this as a trigger it will do do it automatically perhaps. Just something to help pull me back. I need that object though I think, because I otherwise would just go completely out and in "automatic" mode and not be able to stop and bring myself back which takes time to do and I don't usually have the time it takes to do that in most situations.

[Rand.]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Alas, this topic is not my strong suit. I'm here checking for unanswered posts. Don't give up, though. Sometimes it just takes time for the right person to come along to respond.

I'm surprised that the professionals haven't been any more helpful. I assume you're seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist and have told them what you posted here.

Thanks! Yeah I have. Well, a nurse case manager who consults a psychiatrist. From what I've gathered, they seem to think it's a mood thing. My nurse is really awesome, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful I'm able to get help at all.