[canuck1971]

I posted in Psychotherpay about T situation

Basically T charged us for cancelling appt same day because I had stomach flu

This has triggered angry teenage part, and not sure how to calm her down

Any advice

[Claritytoo]

It sounds like your angry teenage part's feelings were hurt by what your T did. Maybe that is why she is angry. Sometimes one of us will become angry when our feelings are hurt. And having someone you trust do something that hurts your feelings is difficult. I think it is important for your teenage part to share her feelings with your T. I am sure you T didn't mean to hurt her feelings. It just happens sometimes.

[canuck1971]

t doesnt really care about us, all she sees is $$$$$

did she even bother calling to see how we are feeling no, she gets office manager to call to tell us btw we are going to be charged for missed appt

**** her **** therapy

[Claritytoo]

Office managers do that thing automatically. They call all the patients that miss their appointments. Maybe your t doesn't know you were called. If your t has helped you in the past I think it is worth the time to speak with your t and tell her/him how you feel. I have had bad feelings about my t especially in the beginning of therapy, but I eventually told her what was on my mind. Sometimes we could agree and other times we could agree to disagree but I felt better just saying what was on my mind. If you think your t is good I would try to talk about it. It's hard to find a good t.

[canuck1971]

t was one that told office manager to call

she cancelled on us 3 times and we understood and didnt complain

why do we have to pay when she can do the same thing, is she better than her patients?
I dont ****ing think so
she says she cares, and i never believed she did, how could someone care for only an hour a week and then say time is up next. so this just proves it. why should we bother exposing ourselves
and she KNOWS we are having trouble making ends meet too right now...classic....pay me...so what do we cut out food...i have an idea how about i cut out meds that are so freaking expensive every month too and she knows how hard it is for us
**** her

[Claritytoo]

I can't argue that. If she canceled on you three times she should have been more understanding. I think you make a good point. I still think it is worth your while to tell her just what you have said here. Maybe email her or leave a phone message if you don't have her email and aren't going to go to therapy. Fair is fair. But don't drop out of therapy because you hit this bump in the road. Especially if it has helped you. I am better for going to therapy and still sometimes I don't want to go. But I do because I remember what it was like not having anyone to talk to about the stuff in my head.

[amandalouise]

Canuck....maybe its just the rules where your therapist works....here where I work at the crisis center its the rules to charge for missed appointments. it has nothing to do with whether we like or dont like our clients, it has nothing to do with whether its right or wrong, its not about whether a client is sick or just skipped...

its about being able to being able to pay our bills.. when someone doesnt call in to cancel or cancels at the last minute we (the crisis center) still have to pay the cost of that room. we still have to pay for heating that room so that it would be a warm safe room had the person who missed their appointment had come in.

when people call us 24 hours a head of time then we are prepared for letting someone else who may need the room use it. that way even when the client that has canceled cant come in we are still able to pay for that room and keep that space as part of our offices.

my therapist does the same thing. she has to pay for the room that she uses for her therapy business. if she doesnt charge people who doent cancel before 24 hours then she cant pay her bill on the room, which means she wont have any place to see her clients for therapy. basically she would be out of business if she didnt have a room for her therapy sessions with her clients.

I dont like it either that she has to charge me for my no shows (thats what she calls missed appointments with out a call in 24 hours before the appointment)

one way I look at it is that when Im in her room I look around and see how safe and comfortable being inside those 4 walls feels. then I think about what would happen if my therapist couldnt afford to pay the rent on that room. I wouldnt be able to see her any more because she would not have a place to see me in.

[undiagnosedinsanity]

Originally Posted by canuck1971

I posted in Psychotherpay about T situation

Basically T charged us for cancelling appt same day because I had stomach flu

This has triggered angry teenage part, and not sure how to calm her down

Any advice

I had the same problem with a psychiatrist. She cancelled on me multiple times the day of but the one day I was 20 minutes late (5 minutes past the 15 minute window) she refused to see me. This was after seeing her for two years and never being late once. Not ONCE! I also lived 45 minutes away from her office so I thought she would have been understanding of the fact that I was late because of traffic that I could not control. I ended up completely freaking out in the office and I refused to go back to her. She never once called me to see if I was okay. I myself am now a psychology major and I still believe she acted in a completely inappropriate and uncaring manner. I stopped seeing her and found someone who has genuine concern for me. The change was great for me. I don't know if it is possible for you to switch therapists but it is a suggestion.