[mlyn]

need to talk. i know we are not around all that often anymore but guess taking a chance. our little brother 1 year younger is getting out of prison sept. 25th yes for felony of child sexual abuse.
I tried so hard to protect him when we were growing up I could not.
do not like what he did.
he depends on us for when he gets out
yuk yuk yik
so confused

(((mlyn))))
thinkin gof you
w_i

[mlyn]

thanx w_i it really sucks cuz i know what it was like growing up some what yet hate what he did

That's a tough one mlyn.

Have you talked to T about it?

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mlyn said:
need to talk. i know we are not around all that often anymore but guess taking a chance. our little brother 1 year younger is getting out of prison sept. 25th yes for felony of child sexual abuse.
I tried so hard to protect him when we were growing up I could not.
do not like what he did.
he depends on us for when he gets out
yuk yuk yik
so confused

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> that does sound confusing to think one could have protected their sibling from the horrors of growing up. you did what you were able to do given that you too were surviving the best you could in those times. please be gentle when thinking back to that. you were a child. you could only do so much.

being nice does not mean you have to like what he did. being nice does not mean you have to put his needs before yours. being nice means being honest with how you feel about what he did......even if he survived similar horrors growing up he ended up in the criminal justice system. it isn't for you to wonder what would have happened if he got help or if he didn't offend or what if what if what ifs???? just not that useful at this time.

how about some ground rules for what you are willing and able to do for your brother after his release? you say he will depend upon you after release...does that mean financially? housing? what exactly?

tossing out some practicals that could help if addressed.

you never have to like what happened. you only have to do what is safe for yourself/ves. answer to you sweetie. take care of you. keep all of you safe so that you can be of some help to your brother later this month that is if you choose to help him. it is a choice and it is your choice.

this doesn't sound easy. we wish you continued strength for this month and beyond.

[Gemstone]

{{{{ mlyn }}}}}

[allthegirls6]

mlyn,

This sounds as bad as it gets. I think you need to talk to your T as this feels really difficult

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( mlyn )))))))))

[mlyn]

did talk to t

thank you all so much!!!! t agrees there should be boundaries in helping him.

So far it looks like brother will be going to a mission when he gets out and they will have much of the support and guideance he will need there from way it sounds. T says if it does not pan out like they said and he is left with no where to go to call him asap and he will make sure to find him a place to stay and he advises us not to take him home with us.

don't like it when things get triggered panic happens. yuk!

Thank you all agin!!! phew !!!! breathing easier today.

[wanttoheal]

i'm so glad you have t to guide you in this mlyn. he sounds awesome. i wish the best for you and yours.

[January]

(((((((((((((((( Mlyn ))))))))))))))))))))

Please take good care of yourself. It's so hard to practice self care when dealing with family members, much less under these circumstances.

Hugs,

Jan

[mlyn]

yes it is very hard when it comes to family no matter what went down. yuk!