[Grey Matter]

I don't even know if I am posting this in the right forum or if I am even really typing this. I feel like I am losing my mind. I am losing time. I am forgetting most of my days. What I did. I feel like I am stuck in autopilot. I have trouble talking. Trouble standing up. I took a shower and stood there with a towel not even remembering how I got there. I am terrified. I try telling myself I am real, this is reality, I am here, but my mind goes so fast I don't know how to catch it or make it stay still long enough to realize time is here and my head isn't catching up. I am terrified. I am alone. My therapist said "It's a bad mood" and commented no further but this doesn't feel right this feels all wrong I feel wrong I can't manage this I don't even know what THIS is

[Claritytoo]

You need to go to a doctor to make sure that your symptoms aren't related to a physical condition. There could be a lot of reasons why you are feeling this way.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

I don't even know if I am posting this in the right forum or if I am even really typing this. I feel like I am losing my mind. I am losing time. I am forgetting most of my days. What I did. I feel like I am stuck in autopilot. I have trouble talking. Trouble standing up. I took a shower and stood there with a towel not even remembering how I got there. I am terrified. I try telling myself I am real, this is reality, I am here, but my mind goes so fast I don't know how to catch it or make it stay still long enough to realize time is here and my head isn't catching up. I am terrified. I am alone. My therapist said "It's a bad mood" and commented no further but this doesn't feel right this feels all wrong I feel wrong I can't manage this I don't even know what THIS is

welcome back to psych central (one of your recent past posts stated you were here before)

there is a dissociative disorder that has the same symptoms you posted about its called depersonalization/derealization disorder. Please dont take this as a diagnosis. I am just stating that fact because you said you were not sure if you posted in the right place. this forum is for dissociative like symptoms that you posted. so yes you are in the right place for posting about these kinds of things.

What an amazing person you are...according to what I have read in your past posts you are part of what we here in NY call the sandwich generation (the generation of people who not only have to care for their self and possibly their own children when they have families of their own or younger siblings they have had to take care of.parent but also care for their aging parents as well) it takes someone very special to be able to do that.

I also see by your past posts you are going through the grief process for the loss of your brother. I am so sorry you lost your brother. I too have lost siblings. I had a younger sibling die of suicide. I can tell you it will get easier. you wont ever forget you had this brother but someday you will be able to think about him and your times together without all the residual side effects that comes with grief like over whelming sadness.

I also see you have problems with anxiety/ocd.....you also have a learning disorder / physical health issues, and you are on medications..

my point of mentioning your other problem areas is ........in the event that you may want to know what this problem you posted here in this thread is well any of your other problem areas can be a factor in why you are feeling the way you are now..the way the DSM 5 diagnostics are worded now for depersonalization/derealization disorder (having dissociative symptoms to the extreme that it is called a dissociative disorder) your other problems have to be ruled out at the cause. it used to be where it was just automatically called depersonalization and derealization symptoms but the new diagnostics require treatment providers to separate what is a "side effect" from medications and other problems vs the extreme disorder type thing..

if this was me I would want to check whether my other problems were causing me to feel this way because the solution may be as simple as a change in meds or more treatment options for grief treatment, help with taking care of your parents, easing your stress...those kinds of things... where as if this is a dissociative disorder other things may be helpful like grounding/yoga/ and other therapy techniques that enable a dissociative to not have so many depersonalization/derealization symptoms.

[gayleggg]

I agree with Claritytoo. And if they aren't related to a physical condition seek out a psychiatrist and get an assessment of what is going on. There is help out there. You are not alone. Continue to post on PC and let us know how things are going.

Gayle

[Grey Matter]

I went to the hospital last night, my mom was worried I was having temporal lobe seizures. I had no signs of a seizure, but I did continue to panic. I was sent home and "slept it off". I have a neurology appointment any way this week (lupus/autoimmune related) and they gave me a script for extra testing. Which is good.

Amanda, thank you so much for your kind words. Thank you. It really means a lot. I did not expect to get all of that said about me and I am a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way. Thank you for all the information. I will keep it all in mind. I am looking for a new therapist and pdoc, so hopefully this can get sorted it. Thank you all so much.