[itsmeleyreagain]

Is there any movement, anything special you know or you do when you ar eabout to switch, or about to leave a certain state? Please answer to me.

[Bloem]

In everyday life I do not always notice the switch but afterwards i do. Then, there are indications I was not present. I also lost time, which I now better understand. When I'm in therapy and am about to switch I feel uncomfortable and restless in my body, But I think it's because I am aware of it and fighting against it. In a normal setting I am restless too, I have ADHD so the distinction is difficult to make. There has always been switching I realize now. Only it was 'normal' and so frightening that I kept it to myself, it always had another reason for me....alcohol, medication use and chaos of ADHD. It's weird how you can keep fooling yourself because you do not know what's going on, because it is always there, it seems normal.

I do not believe you always switchs in 'normal' situations, for me it comes to triggers, I realize that now. I noticed that if a lot is asked of me and I can not set a boundary...... I switch in my teen part....But also if I'm in situations where I'm vulnerable and hurt and do not know how to take care of myself i switch in in a little girl that seeks security and wants to be happy. And other parts also have their reasons. I now know that I trigger myself a lot and that I want to explore in therapy.

About switching itself I'm only aware of it in therapy. Sometimes, in certain situations, I feel restless and overwhelmed, I get stomach ache and do not feel comfortable in myself. In the past i started drinking alcohol to make that weird feeling go away, it always made it worse.
I think it has become so normal, switching. That I do not even feel when it happens and only afterwards realize that I've switched. Because I know I do it since I know my diagnosis. For me a lot to find out in therapy because it has always been there and it is so 'normal' only because the others now also have a 'voice' I get more insight into it.....what it does not make it easier but more understandable. I am fortunate that I have a good and understandable therapist. Sometimes it feels like she knows me better than I do myself but I trust her. And believe she can help me understand myself more....I think that is importantthat, that you have someone who understands you and can look from a distance and see what happens...especially when you do not even know what happenes with yourself.

I read in your previous post that your phd not believes in DID. That must be hard for you....I know from myself that I do not even believe It myself, that it's real, even after the tests. Whether it is real or not, my therapist believes in me and she sees that I have problems and working hard to deal with them. And that is good and what I need because I often feel 'lost'

I hope you find answers and I hope I've given you some insight. Remember, no person with DID is the same, I have found that out for myself.

Love,

Bloem

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain

Is there any movement, anything special you know or you do when you ar eabout to switch, or about to leave a certain state? Please answer to me.

with some people yes and some people no. DID isnt a mental disorder where it affects the same person in the same way..

everyone diagnosed with DID in america have to meet the same diagnostic criteria but how their internal system is set up is individualized based on a lot of different things like what the persons body is like, that persons health issues, mental issues, life, environment, their cultural background....and much more goes into determining whether a persons internal system of alters is set up in such a way as to having noticeable switching/dissociation symptoms or not..

example I was raised in a mining town and in the native american culture.that in itself dictates what type of internal system I have and how my switching/dissociating is perceived by me and those around me...

people with my cultural background would say I took on the mannerisms /movements/lack of movements that a wolf does when I switched/dissociated into my wolf alter.

those outside my cultural background that did not know the history, stories, culture would not notice these subtle changes when I became my alter wolf.

each persons internal system of alters is individualized and set up in what ever ways they needed in order to survive the extreme abuse that caused them to become DID.

my suggestion...talk with your treatment providers, they can help you understand what your internal system is like, why and whether you have special movements, you can also talk with them about anything that you know about yourself when you switch/dissociate.

[possum220]

I do switch, I have no warning. They push past me and I am at the back. The voices talk but I cannot remember what they say. Their voices are different to mine. My P'doc keeps on telling me that its all me but the disconnect is in place so it doesnt feel like me. Its very hard to explain.

After years of therapy, I now only experience switching in a session, at times. The therapists voice feels far away, the room becomes foggy, I tense up and my legs start jiggling. I hear voices, which become clearer the more disocciative I become. Afterwards, I only remember some of what we talked about. I am aware of other parts, but only connect with them when in a trance like state.

[Claritytoo]

In the past when I didn't know what DID was I would know I was different from how a close friend or family member would react to me. So if my sister seemed to be confused or looked at me in a certain way I knew I wasn't who she knew. I would change my way until I could see my sisters reaction change. This also happened with close friends. I have only two close friends who both say I changed and am completely different from the first ten years they have known me. I deny it because I don't know what they are referring to. They explain it to me but I don't remember being that person they describe. Know one except my t knows my diagnosis. I recently told my sister that I might have ptsd. I did this to explain why I am still going to a therapist. Given our childhood my sister easily accepts this as a real possibility.

[itsmeleyreagain]

sO, you can know when you are going to switch? can you feel it in your bones the feeling you are going to switch? or it just happens?

[refika]

For me, I'm co-conscious with my alters. When one of them wants to come out, they just do and start talking. The main one kind of goes to the side or back, and just observes everything. I feel when it's happening because everything around me gets blurry and I get that "Far away" sound like all noise and voices are miles away but I can barely hear them.

[innocentjoy]

Hey. I'm just learning to figure it out. I don't fit perfectly into DID bc I don't lose chunks of time, I can remember everything that happens no matter which of me has takent over. I can't tell right now before I switch, but usually I will notice how differently I feel. Most of the time I can figure out who it is, but sometimes I know I'm not the now/adult me, but don't know what age, etc I feel like.
All my alters so far have been different ages of me in the past, so it's confusing. I will know when I get overwhelmed and scared, and feel littler, that it is either the 4/5 or 8 year old coming out. Usually stressfuls situations and triggers cause me to switch.

[littlemick]

Is there a way to help a person with DID to start hearing their altars?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by littlemick

Is there a way to help a person with DID to start hearing their altars?

here where I live and work treatment providers do not do things that will cause the person to have more symptoms then they already have...by that I mean if a person doesnt hear voices (which is a symptom with many different mental disorders) the treatment provider doesnt have them do things that will cause them to hear voices... they work with the client to gain more stability not destabilize the person.

that said...

here where I live and work in NY hearing alters is called being co conscious...

Each person with DID has their own levels of co consciousness and how their internal system of alters affects them....

some people can hear their alters and some people cant. Some people can hear their alters thoughts some cant. some people can talk inside with their alters some cant....

my point is dont worry about what you cant do with your alters and focus on how DID affects/presents itself in you..

if you cant hear their voices thats ok. treatment for DID (grounding/mindfulness and working on what caused you to become DID and stabilizing your present daily functioning) can still happen...

my suggestion...continue working with your treatment providers. if its possible for you to hear your alters it will happen as you become stronger and more stable and able to handle knowing what the alters know about how and why you became DID. and if it doesnt happen well that just means you are years ahead in treatment because you dont have to take care of all the problems that hearing voices causes a person with DID.

[Bloem]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

here where I live and work in NY hearing alters is called being co conscious...

Each person with DID has their own levels of co consciousness and how their internal system of alters affects them....

some people can hear their alters and some people cant. Some people can hear their alters thoughts some cant. some people can talk inside with their alters some cant....
.

I find this interesting. Two of my alters I can hear and communicate with it.
They are sometimes present when I am present I can talk to them, I hear they react to things I do. If one of them is present, I am not .... then I lost time, They are aware of each other and Co conscious together. I wonder how it can that they Co conscious when I am present, but not vice versa?

With my other Alters I have no contact that way. sometimes it feels like they do not even exist, there are indications and I lose time but I never talked to them.
they only talk with me by 'evidence' I find men / boys clothing....and other things.

Bloem

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Bloem

I find this interesting. Two of my alters I can hear and communicate with it.
They are sometimes present when I am present I can talk to them, I hear they react to things I do. If one of them is present, I am not .... then I lost time, They are aware of each other and Co conscious together. I wonder how it can that they Co conscious when I am present, but not vice versa?

With my other Alters I have no contact that way. sometimes it feels like they do not even exist, there are indications and I lose time but I never talked to them.
they only talk with me by 'evidence' I find men / boys clothing....and other things.

Bloem

all it boils down to is that each persons internal system of alters is how ever and what ever they needed in order to survive the extreme abuse that caused them to become DID.

Example my alter Wolf did not need to know everything that was going on and did not need to communicate with everyone in my internal system of alters in order to do that alters job, purpose and reason for being. My alter Owl did need to know what was going on, did need to be able to communicate with others in my internal system of alters in order to do her job,purpose, reason for being...

your internal system of alters are the way they are because that was what was needed in order for you to survive.

[avlady]

I really don't understand what DID is but was wondering if anyone with it besides the ones here or both, can explain it so i can be more knowledgible of it?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by avlady

I really don't understand what DID is but was wondering if anyone with it besides the ones here or both, can explain it so i can be more knowledgible of it?

the easiest way to explain it is that its where you have two or more special types of alternate personalities that take control many times. these special types of alters have their own way of being....you know how you have your own way that you think and do things and your neighbor or friend has their own way they think and do things? kind of like that only a bit different..

here is what the DSM 5 says about DID.... http://forums.psychcentral.com/disso...s-dsm-5-a.html

basically the alters have their own affect (what emotions they can and cant show/experience), behavior (what they can and cant do), perceptions (thoughts, ideas how they perceive their self and their environment) senory motor fuctions....

Example

my alter Sunny's affect was happy, smiling, cheerful all the time, she behaved like she loved life and the world, she only had good thoughts about herself, others and her environment, the way she walked, talked, breathed, slight mannerisms, big mannerisms ...everything about/related to her was happy cheerful, life is great.

my alter Rainy's affect was sadness, depression, tears, crying, her behavior was crying weeping the words she used reflected total sadness, her perception of herself and the world was total depression, the way she walked, talked, breathed, mannerisms...everything about /related to her was total sadness/depression.

then there was me Amanda the host (the person in which they lived inside of..my affect was neither happiness nor sadness. because those were what Sunny and Rainys job's purpose reason for being was..

thats the simple version of what the first diagnositic criteira is...

the second diagnostic criteria americans have to meet in order to be DID is having a special type of memory problems..not the kind of memory problems where you forget where your keys are or other normal types of forgetting that everyone has sometimes. this kind of forgetting is very extreme.

the third diagnostics that says whether a person in america had DID or not is that having these special kind of alters and special kind of memory problem causes clinical distress in important areas of your life...work, fun time, just hanging out with friends and family times and other important areas of your life.

the 4th diagnostics in simple terms means having these alters and problems is not because you were in a catholic religion/satanic religion or other religion / cult.

the last diagnostics means the alters and problems associated with having alters is not because of doing drugs/drinking or have other health issues that may share the same symptoms.

thats basically the simple version of what DID is here in America according to the American Psychiatric Association and their book the DSM 5

if you think you may have DID the best thing you can do is contact a mental health treatment provider and they can get you set up for diagnostic evaluations that can tell you whether you have DID or not.

like always other locations/cultures...may explain it differently

[montanan4ever]

Originally Posted by avlady

I really don't understand what DID is but was wondering if anyone with it besides the ones here or both, can explain it so i can be more knowledgible of it?

Educational Information

[picklewheeze]

Its really hard to know exactly the pooint when I switch, but I do kinda sometimes have some warning. I can feel really panicky and completely overwhelmed and like I can't hold on, I usually cant speak and go into my head then bang I'm gone. Feels like I'm slipping sometimes. other times dont know until I come back.

I never used to think that I lost time, but now I'm not so sure. The one thing I really know now is that I don't really know anything. Time is a very hard concept for us to entertain, never have a clue whats going on and now starting to contemplate whether thats actaully because I lose time. Everythings a blur and I never really know what I do. Someteimes I remember things but not as me doing it, sometimes I can only see it from the outside looking in. Do a lot of co-ing as well, that weird. And one of my little's Co's with me a LOT in that I can feel her watching what I'm doing and stuff. She can slip out a lot as well I tihnk often by accident and I can make a really weird noise like mid sentence as if I'm whimpering or something in pain but I don't really go cause I still hear it, but I son' tknow where I am - inside or out. I cann't control it though. Its weird.

[echoesofagirl]

Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain

Is there any movement, anything special you know or you do when you ar eabout to switch, or about to leave a certain state? Please answer to me.

I feel foggy, unreal, and confused/disoriented right before I switch. Sometimes I also feel dizzy, light-headed, or have slight changes in my vision. These physical symptoms are much more mild than after I switch though.

My therapist says I always look down when I switch, but I don't know if that's right before or actually during? I haven't ever noticed it, so my guess is the later.

[malah]

Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain

Is there any movement, anything special you know or you do when you ar eabout to switch, or about to leave a certain state? Please answer to me.

I don't have dissociative disorder but severe depersonalisation and derealisation so Im really thankful for that, because at least I remember some things that I do. The stuff that I can't remember is because of poor memory because of medication use, but I would rather that, than the OCD. However, I don't feel like myself but someone else, and that Im a faded echo. Im ok with that as I messed up. It could be that some dissociatives know they are switching - but like go to sleep.
not sure.
malah

I don't think I have DID but sometimes I dissociate and it always feels like everything is getting hot. I sweat. I feel lightheaded, the room spins, and then I'm floating. I can feel myself talking but I don't understand it everything is foggy. I don't really quite realize until after.

[lifelies]

Originally Posted by lalalabp

I don't think I have DID but sometimes I dissociate and it always feels like everything is getting hot. I sweat. I feel lightheaded, the room spins, and then I'm floating. I can feel myself talking but I don't understand it everything is foggy. I don't really quite realize until after.

Well, dissociation doesn't limit to DID at all! Other ways of dissociation that can be a disorder themselves are Depersonalization and Derealization (possible Depersonalization disorder).
What you say looks like derealization if I understood you correctly. Basically, depersonalization is not feeling yourself, and derealization is feeling your environment "weird."

Now answering to the OP... I'm some kind of gatekeeper alter, so I'm usually aware of switches. When I take control... I can't recall what I feel. I mean, I have some lost time the 5 minutes before and after the switch. I think this applies to almost all of our alters. But usually, the difference between being co-conscious with somebody else (usually Allie) or being fully "in control" is how I feel; feeling great = me, feeling weird = shared.

Hope it helpd!
Cheers,
Lana
Lifelies

[innocentjoy]

I definitely get the feeling weird part. I don't ever lose time really, so I'm sure I'm somewhere in the background, at least, when the different alters switch. I will often completely shut down when I'm scared, I think that is my little one's experience: utter confusion and fear. I will have a hard time understanding anyone, or talking, and it gets other people frustrated, usually because they think I'm just doing it for attention. Sigh.
But that is exactly how I can tell, as well: If I feel fine, I know I'm me, if I'm "weird": anxious, out of it, disconnected, hyper-alert, usually I know it is one of the alters. Sometimes I know which age/alter I am, but often I just know that I dont' feel "right".