[Akyra]

I wasn't sure what category to put this under. It kinda sounds like a dissociative episode to me but I could still remember what happened? There have been several times where I have lost complete control of my actions and thoughts. Nothing out of the ordinary happens before these moments. I feel normal and then all of a sudden something snaps.
My thoughts are usually cluttered and fast, but when I lose control or whatever it's like my thoughts stop. There's only one very slow thought at a time. Whatever I was thinking about before is gone from my mind.
One of the first times this happened I was in school with my friends and I was going to give my friend a high five but instead my hands found the way to her throat and I started strangling her. I snapped out of it before I actually did damage but it freaked her out and I played it off as a joke.
I cannot control myself at all when this happens. It's like I'm pushed into the backseat of my mind, yet I can still see, feel, and hear what I'm doing. I have noticed my hearing gets a bit muffled, like I'm wearing ear muffs. I also remember what I've done afterwards.
These episodes usually happen a few times a month. I've tried to do research about it but I couldn't really find anything so I would really appreciate someone's input on this. Thank you.

[Claritytoo]

What does your therapist say?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Akyra

I wasn't sure what category to put this under. It kinda sounds like a dissociative episode to me but I could still remember what happened? There have been several times where I have lost complete control of my actions and thoughts. Nothing out of the ordinary happens before these moments. I feel normal and then all of a sudden something snaps.
My thoughts are usually cluttered and fast, but when I lose control or whatever it's like my thoughts stop. There's only one very slow thought at a time. Whatever I was thinking about before is gone from my mind.
One of the first times this happened I was in school with my friends and I was going to give my friend a high five but instead my hands found the way to her throat and I started strangling her. I snapped out of it before I actually did damage but it freaked her out and I played it off as a joke.
I cannot control myself at all when this happens. It's like I'm pushed into the backseat of my mind, yet I can still see, feel, and hear what I'm doing. I have noticed my hearing gets a bit muffled, like I'm wearing ear muffs. I also remember what I've done afterwards.
These episodes usually happen a few times a month. I've tried to do research about it but I couldn't really find anything so I would really appreciate someone's input on this. Thank you.

Akyra Im sorry but we can not tell you what this is in you, but we can tell you what jumps out at us....

since you are new here I went and read your other posts...

A few questions have come up for me....like another poster I too am wondering what your medical doctor, therapist or psychiatrist has told you and what your diagnosis is....

sometimes medications can cause a person to have some rather unsettling dreams, thoughts, loss of control in their behavior.

Im also wondering what your age is....I know lots of teens and young adults are into twilight, harry potter, dracula/vampire and other forms of tv villians....so much that they end up having trouble with their dreams, thoughts and behaviors.

As for dissociation...well in general dissociation isnt about losing control of your behavior. its things like spacing off, daydreaming, not really focused in on things like time and whats going on around you.

from there it branches off into the mental disorders....now heres where it gets real tricky...because most of the problems with the dissociative disorders are the same problems that can happen to normal people or people with other mental disorders too. or even people having trouble sleeping.

because of this the only way to find out if something is a dissociative disorder is by seeing treatment providers like your medical doctor, therapist and psychiatrist. after they talk with you/ask you questions and you do some tests, they will be able to tell you what your problem is called and how to treat it so that you dont try to hurt your friend again.

my suggestion talk with your doctor, therapist, psychiatrist or even print off your posts and let them read what you wrote. they will be able to help you figure this out..

the only thing we can do here on psych central is tell you if we had the same problems and what our own treatment providers and we do to help ourselves.

I have had the same problems you have wrote about and sometimes it was dissociation problems but it was also other things too and only by treatment providers were able to tell me which of my problems they were from and how to treat them. most of the treatments no matter what it was called involved, getting enough sleep, an appropriate dietary plan, exercise/ yoga, grounding, and staying on my medications, attending therapy and psychiatric sessions with my psychiatrist and therapist.

[Patagonia]

I hope a more experienced person comes to answer ur question. It sounds pretty scary & you're brave to share it here. I'm also interested in knowing what ur T says about it?

[innocentjoy]

I wouldn't necessarily put it off as dissociation. A lot of people 'snap' when they get angry, and feel like they have no control over their emotions/actions/thoughts etc. That is more an issue of emotion regulation. Of course, I'm just going off of the one incident you're talking about. Is it the same mood/thought patterns each time, or is it different? Are the actions similar, or the emotions, situation, etc?
I would definitely mention this to a doctor or counsellor. It would be pretty awful to come out of an 'episode' and realize you've done something hurtful that you can't fix.. If you're aware of your body doing this, it is your responsibility to try and get help for it so that it doesn't happen. I hope that you have someone you can talk to in person, and get support from!!