[lifelies]

I don't know where to post it. Because lots of disorders are involved.
Since school started back in September, everything has been out of control. I'm going to try and explain the different aspects why my life is a mess right now (sure there are more aspects that I can't remember ).

Christine and AsPD
I'm honestly really tired of Christine. People think I'm a violent person because of her. Sometimes I just move my hand a bit while talking to someone, and he reacts like I was going to hit him. I didn't understand this until I realized that Christine was hitting people for no reason.
When anybody was arguing with either Christine or some other alter (when Christine was "co-conscious"), Christine just hit the person.
Every time that a teacher calls me to talk about anything I'm scared that Christine has done something really really bad.
I used to be scared of what she could do to me/the body, but now I don't care about that because others' lifes may be in danger because of her.

Allie and her Bipolar Disorder
It's crazy. Sometimes, if Allie is having an "episode" (depressive or hypomanic) I can feel what she is feeling. So I have incredibly terrible ups and downs, because while she might be depressed for, say, one month, I'll only be depressed the days that I feel her feelings within that month.
That's why sometimes I feel terribly depressed and other times I feel terribly manic. Of course that's also my BPD acting here.

Alexander's BPD & unstable relationships
Although I must thank Alexander and Judit for letting me have a social life (sometimes I'm suddenly really good friends with someone because of their "work"), they tend to have lots of BPD symptoms, even harder than mine.
And the worst thing is that I share their unstability.
For example, I just read something Alexander wrote about a friend of us. He was calling him a b**** & such stuff, because at that moment we thought of her like an "ex-friend." One or two days later, we were trying to be friends with her again. And so on.

Our smoking
Due to our unstability and love with the friend mentioned above (who's a smoker), some alters (especially Alex and me) tended to start smoking again to "feel like her (the friend)".
It felt like we were nearer her, but I think we all are tired of the Quit-Slip-Depression-Quit circle so we're going to quit without slipping (well, we quit on October 11th).

I hope you have any tips or something for me, and perhaps I could repost this in the AsPD or BPD forums to try and get more help.
Thanks and hugs,
Tom

[Claritytoo]

I think it is good to worry about other peoples safety but taking care of your safety will lead to being able to take care of other peoples safety. Don't put yourself last. I was always the one to offer help to people. And I was sincere but now I have decided to focus on our help and safety. It was different at first putting us first but now I see how important it is to us to know we are safe and cared for. It gives us more strength and we feel better. I hope this helps you in some way. Take care

[lifelies]

Sorry for not replying.
I don't know what to do. I care about lots of things but do nothing.

Help...?
Tom

[Claritytoo]

Have you told all this to your therapist?