[volatile]

I had something happen to me and after it all I recall going up to my neighbors house. I know some things that happened during the "incident" had to have been real but I'm not so sure how real the whole memory was. I want to figure out what parts of this memory were real but I am so freaked out to go ask my neighbor. Should I write a letter or something? I don't know what to do...

[mazing]

If you feel comfortable writing a letter that might be a good idea It takes away the need for confrontation but still allows you to get the answers you need.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by volatile

I had something happen to me and after it all I recall going up to my neighbors house. I know some things that happened during the "incident" had to have been real but I'm not so sure how real the whole memory was. I want to figure out what parts of this memory were real but I am so freaked out to go ask my neighbor. Should I write a letter or something? I don't know what to do...

What should you do? (your title for your thread)

Im sorry but we cant tell you what to do. all we can do is tell you what we would do if your problem was our own....

if this was me no I would not write a letter or any other form of confirmation/confrontation/ gather info type letters....

my reasoning would be because in the post it says you are not sure how real the whole memory is....

well memory is one of those things that is subjective...meaning it isnt always exact on what happened....sometimes a memory of what happened can be about feeling not about what actually happened...

example for years I thought a store keeper had abused me in some way. I had this memory of going into the store, being in a back room in the store and ...well I wont go into details....

over time I discovered I was never in that store, had never been abused by that store keeper and had never been in that stores back room. in fact that store didnt have a back room....

the memory was conjured through my wish to hide one day. I knew the adults I was with were angry. About what I dont know that part is still flapping out in the wind and probably always will be. At that point in my life seeing people get angry was a trigger for me. we stopped at a store and in my emotional trying to disappear mode of thought, my mind conjured up a make believe memory of going into this store and the store keeper taking me in the back room to punish me for making the adults angry.

when I first discovered this memory I was ready to go back there and confront that store keeper, press charges, give him a piece of my mind. But I didnt. Instead I decided to wait until my memory became more clear, good thing too because I would have been falsely accusing someone who did nothing wrong and didnt even know me.

when my wife and I went on our vacation/get married/honeymoon we went through this town and the store looked so familiar we pulled over and went in. the same store keeper was there and making conversation I commented on the decor and he offered to show me around his small shop. there was no back room. there was a back door that lead to a back porch where he kept extra winter supplies/outdoor equipment. I thanked him, we got back out into the car and I was so so relieved I hadnt jumped the gun a few years ago by calling/writing to him. he probably would have just thrown my letter in the garbage or taken the letter to the police as proof of some nutty lady trying to accuse him of a crime he didnt commit.

so thats why if your situation was mine I would do nothing, wait for the memory to become more clear and in time it will tell you whether its real or not since its not.

[volatile]

thank you for not helping, like usual amanda. I'm trying to put someone in prison so I kind of DO need to do something. I had a violence done against me that WAS REAL. This is not pretend. Memories do not "become" clear if i was drugged went this happened and even if I WAS only dissociated it's never going to become clear because that is not how dissociative memories work.

[volatile]

/....................

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by volatile

thank you for not helping, like usual amanda. I'm trying to put someone in prison so I kind of DO need to do something. I had a violence done against me that WAS REAL. This is not pretend. Memories do not "become" clear if i was drugged went this happened and even if I WAS only dissociated it's never going to become clear because that is not how dissociative memories work.

if you reread your first post with in this thread you will see that it was you that wrote....

Originally Posted by volatile

I'm not so sure how real the whole memory was. I want to figure out what parts of this memory were real

I was not the one saying this memory was not real. my point was .....If this was ...me....I ...would be waiting until the memory became more clear...

you are now saying you know this memory is real and you are trying to put someone in prison...

then my suggestion is talk with your treatment providers and what ever law enforcement people are helping you to put the person in prison..if you dont have a prosecuting lawyer then the first steps to take is contacting your law enforcement (the police) make a statement with them and then they will tell you how and where to go from there.