[JackieLLC]

Hello all,

this is my first post, and Im skipping the new member introductory posting because I desperately need resources (particularly scholarly articles or things of the like) regarding having a dissociative disorder and being a parent; more specifically research or writings highlighting POSITIVE aspects of parenting or emphasizing that its quite possible, or common even, to be a "normal" parent while dealing with dissociation.

This is a topic very near and dear to my heart, because I am currently embroiled in a horribly contentious custody battle in which my ex submitted my "parts" journal as evidence in court alleging that I am an unfit mother and cannot safely parent because of my mental illness. Besides being the most horribly exposing and violating circumstance, its only compounded by the face all of his claims have been taken as fact resulting in having my then 8 week old son taken from me and mandating me to supervised visits until the end of the proceedings. My son is now 13 months old and I only see him twice a month.

I have had the same wonderful therapist for over three years, who had championed for me as best she could; writing a comprehensive review of my stability and commitment to treatment, but because she is not a cited "expert" in the field her word did not hold enough weight. There are several other horrible discriminatory and biased events relating to this, so much so in fact that at times it seems like a poorly executed movie script. Its been the most devastating experience of my life; to be crucified by bias and ignorance, punished for being public with my mental illness by acknowledging my need for treatment and subjected to the pain of losing my child's first year because of the stigma of mental illness and the fear that goes with it.

I have recently acquired a very good lawyer, and am in search of an expert or authority in dissociative disorders to make a statement dispelling those myths (as the other party has some expert who makes the claim that "no one with a dissociative disorder is safe to parent unsupervised because of the potential for harm to the child out of their awareness") which has been more difficult that i thought it would be but the most immediate issue I have more control over is to find articles on parenting as a dissociative person, and how it really can be two aspects that coincide in harmony.

I have never felt more alive then as a mother and never more shattered when that was taken from me for being who I am.. my entire being, myself, is incapable of harming a child. that is not how i operate. if anything it makes me overprotective, bc of my own past, so its been a searing insult that has cut me to the very core. So I am reaching out to anyone I can for guidance and information.

Please, if you have ANY resources or references or doctors or groups..ANYTHING, please let me know.
I apologize if this post triggered anyone or was hurtful, it is absolutely not my intent.
Thank you to all of the brave hearts out there who work everyday just to live, it gives me hope

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by JackieLLC

Hello all,

this is my first post, and Im skipping the new member introductory posting because I desperately need resources (particularly scholarly articles or things of the like) regarding having a dissociative disorder and being a parent; more specifically research or writings highlighting POSITIVE aspects of parenting or emphasizing that its quite possible, or common even, to be a "normal" parent while dealing with dissociation.

This is a topic very near and dear to my heart, because I am currently embroiled in a horribly contentious custody battle in which my ex submitted my "parts" journal as evidence in court alleging that I am an unfit mother and cannot safely parent because of my mental illness. Besides being the most horribly exposing and violating circumstance, its only compounded by the face all of his claims have been taken as fact resulting in having my then 8 week old son taken from me and mandating me to supervised visits until the end of the proceedings. My son is now 13 months old and I only see him twice a month.

I have had the same wonderful therapist for over three years, who had championed for me as best she could; writing a comprehensive review of my stability and commitment to treatment, but because she is not a cited "expert" in the field her word did not hold enough weight. There are several other horrible discriminatory and biased events relating to this, so much so in fact that at times it seems like a poorly executed movie script. Its been the most devastating experience of my life; to be crucified by bias and ignorance, punished for being public with my mental illness by acknowledging my need for treatment and subjected to the pain of losing my child's first year because of the stigma of mental illness and the fear that goes with it.

I have recently acquired a very good lawyer, and am in search of an expert or authority in dissociative disorders to make a statement dispelling those myths (as the other party has some expert who makes the claim that "no one with a dissociative disorder is safe to parent unsupervised because of the potential for harm to the child out of their awareness") which has been more difficult that i thought it would be but the most immediate issue I have more control over is to find articles on parenting as a dissociative person, and how it really can be two aspects that coincide in harmony.

I have never felt more alive then as a mother and never more shattered when that was taken from me for being who I am.. my entire being, myself, is incapable of harming a child. that is not how i operate. if anything it makes me overprotective, bc of my own past, so its been a searing insult that has cut me to the very core. So I am reaching out to anyone I can for guidance and information.

Please, if you have ANY resources or references or doctors or groups..ANYTHING, please let me know.
I apologize if this post triggered anyone or was hurtful, it is absolutely not my intent.
Thank you to all of the brave hearts out there who work everyday just to live, it gives me hope

you said you have a good lawyer and a wonderful therapist right? well they would be the ones that are in the best position to locate documentation to positive parenting by parents with dissociative disorders that would be admissible in court proceedings.

example lawyers have access to case history's, laws and such that have previously been in the court history through their law library. therapists have access to all kinds of resources from their own contacts, workshops, seminars, and websites that are set up for mental health treatment providers..

anything we give you would probably not be admissible in your court case because your lawyer would have to verify where you received your documents and verify the documents validity.

unfortunately most research documents that I have come by have stated mental disorders do affect a persons way of coping...

for example..

do you have control over when your alters take control, do you know what triggers each of the alters, can you prove to the court that it will be you and only you not your alters taking care of the child. what happens if the child is sick and screaming, and sickness, and crying happens to be one of the alters triggers, that alter comes out and takes off for gosh knows where..doing gosh knows what. who is taking care of this child while the alters are going their own directions doing their own things.

these are the things that research documents talk about and to date I have not seen any that say a child witnessing the chaotic life of someone switching into alters and experiencing the alters all having different ways of parenting and problems that come with DID hasnt been affected in one way or another.

Im not saying there arent any parents out there with children because there are, Im just saying everything I have read points to the negatives not the positives.

maybe googling something like what are the effects on children with parents who have DID will get you some favorable documents. heres one when I googled that, its by sidran and it tells about the challenges of parenting with DID..Sidran: Help for Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) and dissociation. this probably isnt admissible in court but will show you what you are up against...

talk to your lawyer and therapist they can help you find what you need for your court case by pointing you to articles and documentation that is admissible in court.