[unsureperson]

I was told I.have multiple personality disorder by my mental health doctor which I can.understand but I keep losing parts of my days and it's worrying I don't know what to do and I can't talk to those.close to me because I don't want to be judged for something out my control what do I do

[unsureperson]

I feel that I can't talk to anyone about my multiple personality disorder because I have lost that many people because they found out about it. Now I'm lost and alone and don't know what to do I get confused about it all I struggle to understand it does it really make me that bad of a person

[Claritytoo]

The only person I have told is my therapist. In fact she told me. I don't tell my family and friends because I don't want them guessing who I am when they are talking to me. I don't trust my other doctors enough to tell them. So right now I have this site and my t. It is more important to have a therapist that knows your diagnosis. From there sometimes there are support groups that your t will be aware. There are also other forums that you can participate in.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by unsureperson

I was told I.have multiple personality disorder by my mental health doctor which I can.understand but I keep losing parts of my days and it's worrying I don't know what to do and I can't talk to those.close to me because I don't want to be judged for something out my control what do I do

what helps me to feel better when I get newly diagnosed with something is I ask my treatment providers for information on that diagnosis..

for example I dont know about your location but here in America its not called MPD and hast been for over a couple decades, so when my treatment providers diagnosed me they used the term...Dissociative Identity Disorder.

My treatment providers explained to me what that was....a person uses their dissociation skills. Through this my personality split into many different parts of me to hold those feelings and events that I dissociated.

they told me that even though I had just received the diagnosis I have been this way since before I was 5 years old. that meant nothing was going to happen or change now just because I got diagnosed. All getting a diagnosis does is puts a name to what is and has been since I was a very young child. I wasn't afriad of how I was before the the diagnosis so there was no need to be afraid of me after the diagnosis.

then my psychiatrist who diagnosed me pointed me to some very reliable resources...my medical doctor and my therapist. they were my first line of defense with treating my problems. He said the internet is great but its not always reliable and not always accurate. I was never going to find people exactly like me, thats impossible, but I may find a small few that had ....something...in common with me just like my friends off line and I are different but yet we have some small details that we may share.

when I talked to my medical doctor and therapist they repeated what the psychiatrist said....

nothing was going to happen to me that hasnt already been happening since before I was 5 yrs old. getting the diagnosis doesnt change anything. it just puts a name what is already there for years and years, most likely from the first traumatic event to which I used my dissociative skills to get away from because I was too young to handle such trauma.

with 3 treatment providers confirming this I felt calmer. I continued working with my treatment providers and eventually my alters integrated when they were no longer needed to do the jobs/purposes/reasons why they had been created by my brain through dissociation.

when I reached this point my therapist pointed me to a few mental health resources, one being this website, because she thought I might find others at the final steps of integration. I didnt find that here, but I did find some new friends and a way to help others because in my culture and location there is a saying...to help others is to help one self.

welcome to psych central.

[innocentjoy]

I can understand feeling so alone! One thing I hate about having alters (although I'm not diagnosed with DID, just DDNOS), is that no one understands. I've tried to tell people in my life and some of them are genuinely interested so that they can support me. However I make a point not to go to them for dissociative issues because I'm afraid of losing them. Everyone else who knows I often wish I could take back the information. I used to have a process, when I misdiagnosed with other things, such as bipolar: I would get to know someone, make sure they had a positive opinion of me as a capable person, and then I would tell them. The problem was, when I was having issues, I wouldn't tell anyone but my treatment providers and any mentors I had, for fear of being refected.
I don't know how real, or unreal that fear is, but I definitely would rather someone leave me because I'm hard to get to know, than because I'm fragile and they can't deal.
Slowly over time you will find the right people and the right supports. You will find yourself more able to support YOU, and this will help. Just like it takes time to 'fit in' to a new town you move to, it takes time to adapt to the new diagnosis.
We're here for you, though, so hopefully you will be a regular visitor during your journey
xo
IJ

[unsureperson]

It's just hard I have misjudged so many people my best friend was my best friend for a very long time as soon as she found out I was abandoned and now.I have lost trust I can't even trust my therapist anymore because I'm too scared I have literally gone back to square one.

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[innocentjoy]

It is so hard to relearn to trust, after having it lost so many times. I'm sorry you have had so many hurts. You don't have to trust your t, especially right off the bat. It helps to develop trust in the relationship, and you can do you part by being honest. Telling your t that you don't trust him/her will really help them out. You deserve the chance to know that some people are trust worthy. You also deserve to do this slowly, and using a t for this can be very helpful. I still have moments where I decide I know how my t is going to respond, based on how everyone else has my entire life. It has been a long process to realize that she is'nt my mom, or my abuser, or my old friends, teachers, even old therapists. It can help to make notes of the similarities and differences between your t and others in your life who have let you down. It will slowly give you proof that your t is trustworthy.
All the best!
IJ

[unsureperson]

Thankyou

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[Rzay4]

I've only told my mom, sister, and couple friends. I too don't want people asking which alter I am. As I have four and most of the time two are mixed together.

[jiminkade]

Unsure multiple personality disorder now called DID..dissociative identity disorder.. Few professionals know all about this mental illness..does take some work to find a shrink and therapist for yourself..

Symptoms and behaviors are very varied and some different for each person..I am 66 and a half now.. Started according to my older sister about age 5..could not stay in the here and now with what are parents we're doing to us..

alters..they were running the show for couple hours to days lost with no memory when got back to self..

My alters are not bad people according to old friends.. Just some different..maybe this your situation also.. Most cases no matter who is running the show we do not hurt or damage people of material items..

Friends are friends I have found.. They there with you thru it all.. Got to go help my autistic son john now.. Hope you get some good help from all directions..

Tc Jim

PS. I am not hiding all my mental disorders from my friends..I am what I am and a pretty good person!!!