[Littlemeinside]

I think I dissociate sometimes ( I´ve been told by a pdoc) but when I do it, I can see the person I talk to really up close. Even if we sit far apart I sort of " zoom in" so I can see the eyes and the breathing pattern like if we stood right in front of eachother. Litterally I can see the pupils dialate and the color of the iris change from a distance. I don´t know if I do it with objects but it feels really weird.Does anyone know this kind of dissociation and what it´s called?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Littlemeinside

I think I dissociate sometimes ( I´ve been told by a pdoc) but when I do it, I can see the person I talk to really up close. Even if we sit far apart I sort of " zoom in" so I can see the eyes and the breathing pattern like if we stood right in front of eachother. Litterally I can see the pupils dialate and the color of the iris change from a distance. I don´t know if I do it with objects but it feels really weird.Does anyone know this kind of dissociation and what it´s called?

different locations have different terms for things, and because we are not your treatment providers we are unable to give you a definitive answer....

I can give you a ......generalized.....answer based on what mental terms mean here in NY (the one in the USA as opposed to other countries)....

here in NY there is no such form of dissociation where someone can see their alters, seeing things that others outside yourself can not see is called having a hallucination, a delusion, psychosis, here in NY..

things that can cause hallucinations, delusions, psychotic event here in NY are....many mental disorders share this same symptoms, medications, stress, lack of sleep, not eating correctly.....

that said....

I do know of situations where due to a persons will of wanting/needing to see their alters it can happen on a conscious/unconscious level just like when you think of a favorite food in great detail you can cause yourself to have a type of hallucination based on your bodily senses...example think of your favorite food, then think about how you can hold, taste, smell that food and pretty soon the body reacts by allowing you to mentally visualize, taste and smell that delicious food....

with some people who know enough about their alters they can willfully and unconsciously create in their mind a visual, auditory representation of their alter.

when this happened to me it happened due to a combination of things like medication problems, lack of sleep and willfully wanting to see my alters.

I know some people who go through guided meditation/visualization called the inner child work where they are asked to picture in their mind what their inner child would look like and needs. (this is different then having DID type alters, its a therapy technique based on the premise that everyone whether they have a mental disorder or not holds memories, reactions of their self when they were at different stages of their lives, these memories, reactions are sometimes called the inner child example every time a person goes to their parents house even though they are adults they may feel like a child around their parents, ....)

my point is sometimes after doing this type of therapy the "suggestion" of what their inner self, alters may look like, say, do is in their minds subconsciously and their mind fills in the pieces.

there is also an optical illusion thing that some people can do, they can conjure up with their mind illusions....example look at something or someone long enough and the "imprint" "illusion"of that person or thing is still there when you look away. I have had this happen to me and be confused that the imprint/illusion was an alter inside me when in fact it was my eyes and mind conjuring illusions based on who was around me and how long I stared at them and zoomed in on the illusion my mind filled in details from my minds idea of what my alters looked like. I finally figured it out one day when my therapist had me look at a red circle on a black background then had me look at a white wall, i could see a black ball with red background on the wall then my therapist had me describe what color my childhood ball looked like, suddenly the illusion in front of me became the ball of my childhood. my therapist and I laughed at how the mind can play tricks on me just from the power of suggestion and the eyes natural ability.

please dont take this as a definitive answer to what may be happening to you, only your treatment providers can say why you are visually seeing your alter based on your own health issues, lifestyle, terms and treatments in your own location. I am speaking strictly for what is what here where I live and work, and based on my own situations. other locations, treatment providers.....may have other views on this.

[Littlemeinside]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

different locations have different terms for things, and because we are not your treatment providers we are unable to give you a definitive answer....

I can give you a ......generalized.....answer based on what mental terms mean here in NY (the one in the USA as opposed to other countries)....

here in NY there is no such form of dissociation where someone can see their alters, seeing things that others outside yourself can not see is called having a hallucination, a delusion, psychosis, here in NY..

things that can cause hallucinations, delusions, psychotic event here in NY are....many mental disorders share this same symptoms, medications, stress, lack of sleep, not eating correctly.....

that said....

I do know of situations where due to a persons will of wanting/needing to see their alters it can happen on a conscious/unconscious level just like when you think of a favorite food in great detail you can cause yourself to have a type of hallucination based on your bodily senses...example think of your favorite food, then think about how you can hold, taste, smell that food and pretty soon the body reacts by allowing you to mentally visualize, taste and smell that delicious food....

with some people who know enough about their alters they can willfully and unconsciously create in their mind a visual, auditory representation of their alter.

when this happened to me it happened due to a combination of things like medication problems, lack of sleep and willfully wanting to see my alters.

I know some people who go through guided meditation/visualization called the inner child work where they are asked to picture in their mind what their inner child would look like and needs. (this is different then having DID type alters, its a therapy technique based on the premise that everyone whether they have a mental disorder or not holds memories, reactions of their self when they were at different stages of their lives, these memories, reactions are sometimes called the inner child example every time a person goes to their parents house even though they are adults they may feel like a child around their parents, ....)

my point is sometimes after doing this type of therapy the "suggestion" of what their inner self, alters may look like, say, do is in their minds subconsciously and their mind fills in the pieces.

there is also an optical illusion thing that some people can do, they can conjure up with their mind illusions....example look at something or someone long enough and the "imprint" "illusion"of that person or thing is still there when you look away. I have had this happen to me and be confused that the imprint/illusion was an alter inside me when in fact it was my eyes and mind conjuring illusions based on who was around me and how long I stared at them and zoomed in on the illusion my mind filled in details from my minds idea of what my alters looked like. I finally figured it out one day when my therapist had me look at a red circle on a black background then had me look at a white wall, i could see a black ball with red background on the wall then my therapist had me describe what color my childhood ball looked like, suddenly the illusion in front of me became the ball of my childhood. my therapist and I laughed at how the mind can play tricks on me just from the power of suggestion and the eyes natural ability.

please dont take this as a definitive answer to what may be happening to you, only your treatment providers can say why you are visually seeing your alter based on your own health issues, lifestyle, terms and treatments in your own location. I am speaking strictly for what is what here where I live and work, and based on my own situations. other locations, treatment providers.....may have other views on this.

Thanks for your reply, Amandalouise. I don´t really see my alter ( I don´t have DID) I tend to dissociate and when I do I see the person I speak to as if I am " zooming in" it´s not a hallucination (I think) It´s like I can see the persons face as if we were standing really close, even if were not. I pick up all details and don´t know how else to describe it as " zooming in like a camera or something"

I´ve read about it once under the topic dissociation on google, but I can´t find the article now

ETA:Thanks for the explanation of the inner child work, I found that really helpfull, it´s usually difficult for me to understand:-)

[innocentjoy]

One of my alters can hear very slight changes in a person's voice. She can tell if they're speaking quicker, breathing different, clipping words, etc. in situations where an average person would not notice a difference. For me, this was her saving grace, and a type of hypervigilance, so she could tell when people were getting upset so she could hide, dissociate, or whatever she needed to do to stay safe.
It sounds like you either cut out or rely less on other senses, and your sense of sight is much stronger. Having hightened senses is parts of trauma response (hypervigilance) and could explain this type of dissociation. With most people who have dissociative disorders of one kind or another, it is usually a response meant to keep them as safe as possible, originally. Over time it becomes a common reaction, even when other responses might be healthier or work better. So it might be with you that paying attention to visual differences kept you safe at one point and has now become a common response to a trigger for you.
Hopefully some of that made sense.
xoxo
IJ

[Littlemeinside]

Originally Posted by innocentjoy

One of my alters can hear very slight changes in a person's voice. She can tell if they're speaking quicker, breathing different, clipping words, etc. in situations where an average person would not notice a difference. For me, this was her saving grace, and a type of hypervigilance, so she could tell when people were getting upset so she could hide, dissociate, or whatever she needed to do to stay safe.
It sounds like you either cut out or rely less on other senses, and your sense of sight is much stronger. Having hightened senses is parts of trauma response (hypervigilance) and could explain this type of dissociation. With most people who have dissociative disorders of one kind or another, it is usually a response meant to keep them as safe as possible, originally. Over time it becomes a common reaction, even when other responses might be healthier or work better. So it might be with you that paying attention to visual differences kept you safe at one point and has now become a common response to a trigger for you.
Hopefully some of that made sense.
xoxo
IJ

Thank you. Yes that made sense. I do hear small changes in voices to. I guess heightend senses is the word I was looking for. The " zooming in" scares me a bit I don´t have any active memory of trauma ( nor do I wish to, I think) but I do wonder sometimes why I react this way and what purpose it has served me along time ago. ( If any) Thanks for clarifying this topic for me so it made a bit more sense.

[innocentjoy]

The scariness of zooming in could also be explained by hyper vigilance. I am usually scared when I get heightened senses. Even if you don't have memories you could still have reactions like that. Hope you feel more comfortable with it soon.

Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk

[Rzay4]

Very interesting and yes that sounds a tad bit scary. I definitely wouldn't want to zoom in on people. When I disassociate the world around me gets really fuzzy and I feel much lighter. It's calming to me.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Littlemeinside

Thanks for your reply, Amandalouise. I don´t really see my alter ( I don´t have DID) I tend to dissociate and when I do I see the person I speak to as if I am " zooming in" it´s not a hallucination (I think) It´s like I can see the persons face as if we were standing really close, even if were not. I pick up all details and don´t know how else to describe it as " zooming in like a camera or something"

I´ve read about it once under the topic dissociation on google, but I can´t find the article now

ETA:Thanks for the explanation of the inner child work, I found that really helpfull, it´s usually difficult for me to understand:-)

Ok I misread your post I thought you were saying when you dissociate you see your alter and zoom in on the alter....

so when you are with people outside your self having a conversation (example my wife and I having our morning coffee talking about our plans for the day) you suddenly start spacing out to the point where your mind does a telescope action where you are seeing the person with you in great detail....

here in NY this is called depersonalization/derealization. I do it too. I get this feeling sometimes when Im watching tv, suddenly I will feel a disconnection and suddenly seeing the tv down to the minutest detail. the other night it happened and my wife noticed I had a strange look on my face and asked me if I was alright. I asked where did that spot come from. she said what spot? I said the one on the side panel. she said she didnt see anything and walked over and laughed it was a tiny smudge mark over the power light. one of the twins must crawled over to the tv and tried to feed the tv their apple sauce the other day when she went to answer the phone. she does remember having to bring one back to the coffee table and their seat after getting off the phone lol. with me though this type of dissociation goes both ways I also space off to the point where voices of those around me fade out and my vision is like looking through the turnpike tunnel between New Jersey and NY and I can only see whats in front of me in a fog like haze.

[Littlemeinside]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

Ok I misread your post I thought you were saying when you dissociate you see your alter and zoom in on the alter....

so when you are with people outside your self having a conversation (example my wife and I having our morning coffee talking about our plans for the day) you suddenly start spacing out to the point where your mind does a telescope action where you are seeing the person with you in great detail....

here in NY this is called depersonalization/derealization. I do it too. I get this feeling sometimes when Im watching tv, suddenly I will feel a disconnection and suddenly seeing the tv down to the minutest detail. the other night it happened and my wife noticed I had a strange look on my face and asked me if I was alright. I asked where did that spot come from. she said what spot? I said the one on the side panel. she said she didnt see anything and walked over and laughed it was a tiny smudge mark over the power light. one of the twins must crawled over to the tv and tried to feed the tv their apple sauce the other day when she went to answer the phone. she does remember having to bring one back to the coffee table and their seat after getting off the phone lol. with me though this type of dissociation goes both ways I also space off to the point where voices of those around me fade out and my vision is like looking through the turnpike tunnel between New Jersey and NY and I can only see whats in front of me in a fog like haze.

That sounds more like what I experience. It´s good to know I´m not alone with this. Telescope action is a good way of describing it. I so wonder why this happens.