Thinking back on my childhood

Hey all, first post here. Wanted to say hello, first before starting.

Well I took the sanityscore.com test a little earlier, (I just heard about this website tonight for the first time), and scored a meager 42 on the Dissociation column, but it made me think back to some things I remember experiencing when I was younger.

I remember once feeling like I was literally floating above my body like a foot or two, I could feel my body but felt like I was hovering inside of it, or outside of it. It was a very strange feeling.

Another thing I remember was how easy it was for me to pick up on how people were acting in movies that I'd seen. If I was ever really impressed by how cool a character in a movie seemed or if they seemed like someone I wanted to become, I could start talking and acting with the same mannerisms instantly. I remember a few times I was so impressed that I felt like I wanted to "be" that person in the movie and it's like a switch in my brain went off and I just started "being" that character. Of course after a little while of fantasizing and pretending to be that person I would get tired and think, "Ok I'm done now," but I would sometimes lose track of time thinking about what this actor would do in that situation, what they might think or say if something happened or he ran into someone that approached him a certain way on the street or talked to him a certain way in a restaurant... Just a lot of random scenarios all at once, trying to figure out how he would act and what I should do to "be" him. I still find myself considering what a character from a movie would do in a certain situation but make sure to try to push forward my real personality, who I am, because I am not that person. I am just me. And I want to be the best version of me that I can be. Not someone else...

Anyway, I've gone on long enough about it. Basically I'm just curious if anyone has ever experienced some things like these? Is it normal? Is that how the whole "dissociation" thing starts?

What do you think?

I love being able to discuss things like this and maybe others in the future through the anonymity of forums...

Anyway, glad to be here.
-Matt

um no here in NY dissociation does not start with watching a movie or tv show and wanting to be one of the characters...

here in NY dissociation is an automatic reaction....

you know how if someone says something you dont like that makes you feel angry. or someone you know has died you feel sadness, maybe even cry...

dissociation is like that something makes you feel spaced out, numb, to where these feelings of numbness, spaced out,....affect how you live..you have problems in social academic, occupational problems, physical problems, mental problems due to how often and how severe your dissociative symptoms of numbness, spacing out and other dissociative symptoms too are....

examples of what makes me dissociate (feel numb, spaced out, like those around me or I am moving at an abnormal for me pace....)

traumatic situations, anxiety, physical pain, work stress, ......

here in NY watching tv, movies and wanting to be those characters is called by many things depending upon other accompanying symptoms like ...role playing, playing pretend, having invisible friends, hallucinations, delusions, psychosis....

one thing you need to know about the sanity score and other tests you can find on the web...they are not a true indication of mental disorders...they only reflect how you have answered the questions based on many factors...I took the sanity score many times and each time I got different results depending upon whether I was hungry, tired, had a good day at work, had a bad day at work and I also was able to manipulate the test based on what I wanted the out come to be.

real diagnostic testing happens not only through filling in a form. it also includes face to face interview testing with a psychiatrist and many other tests too in order to rule in or out other mental disorders, physical health problems/issues that also share the same symptoms...for example did you know that some medications can a person to have dissociative symptoms, or that there is a scientific thing called out of body experience that happens to some people that does not have anything to do with mental disorders, or that something as simple as not eating correctly for your body can lead you into having dissociative like symptoms....these and many more completely normal situations that a psychiatrist is trained to look for when diagnosing whether a persons problem is a dissociative issue or something completely different.

we cant tell you whether this is normal for you or whether its a dissociative thing in you... what we can tell you is what these things were called in our selves by our own treatment providers....in me this kind of thing was called many things depending upon other accompanying symptoms....medication problems, delusions, hallucinations, psychosis, sleep deprivation, an eating disorder related symptom and many more...

my suggestion is that if you feel you may have a dissociative problem contact a mental health treatment provider or a medical doctor in your off the computer location. they will be able to diagnose whether these situations you are concerned about are normal for you, a dissociative problem or any other problem/issue that may also share the same symptoms that you have wrote here.

Even if it is not "true" dissociation, stuff can go on to cause a weak sense of self. I don't know where this is coming from, I just feel that being "someone" is just a mental construct people make to make life easier. It is so much easier to just be one person, to be a solid person so they make it happen. I, personally, think sometimes those defenses don't kick in and allow us to be more fluent and less sure of identity.

When I was a kid I picked up a lot of things from other people, from TV and so on, because I thought I was like that, it fitted me, it was like a piece of the puzzle, and I have no idea if I was sort of building myself up to an already set self of the future or if I was just changing into what I became.

This is not what most people go through, explain it and people think you are nuts. But talk to dissociative people they don't recognize it either. It would be nice to have a name for this, but NONE of my diagnoses covers this. I have like 5-6 different ones, LOL.

I think it is an interesting thing this.