[Patagonia]

My T has told me that on 3 different occasions she's received emails from me. When I see them I know I didn't write them. They are also time stamped for odd hours like 2-3am. I usually sleep very well.
I've checked my 'out' box & yes the emails were sent from me. I did notice that my 'signature' at the bottom of each email was erased & replaced with my professional name. They are similar.
The emails are strange, couple of poems I didn't understand & one was like this person was tattle tailing on me. I was doing self harm & it was mentioned in the note. Other things too that made me angry. Almost like this part was brown nosing my T to get me in trouble. This part seems to be sneaky. Is this normal? How do I try to get in touch w/ this part?
My T is very interested in hearing from this part bec to her its a part that's ready to talk. That makes Me very uncomfortable.

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We get angry at each other often, and fight/ argue often too.

[Patagonia]

Why does this part want to talk....To use email? Is that normal for a part to reach out to the T when I usually shut down & build higher walls when I see her? I think I view my T as the enemy. Does she know that? I don't understand this part

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[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Why does this part want to talk....To use email? Is that normal for a part to reach out to the T when I usually shut down & build higher walls when I see her? I think I view my T as the enemy. Does she know that? I don't understand this part

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yes its ok to be angry with any of the other parts, as for why this part is doing that.....well every internal system of alters is made up of protector alters. protector alters are those who's job it is to ensure the host survival. do what the host can not in order for them to survive.

sometimes that means a protector alter must protect the secrets of abuse so that the host can survive, sometimes it means a protector alter must push friends away in order to protect everyone from getting hurt and yea sometimes that means the protector alter will tattle on anyone they live with in or are part of the internal system of alters when they are not being safe with their self of others, to ensure the survival of everyone.

why do they choose the mode of communication that they do, for the same reason you choose the mode of communication that you do, its what they know and are comfortable with for communicating with others.

is this normal what you are going through ....for some people yes and for others no, example my protector alters did not tell my therapist when I was not being safe, but I know others like yourself who do have this type of internal system.

each persons internal system of alters is set up how ever each persons internal system had to be in or to survive....

my suggestion if this continues to bother you talk with your treatment provider they can explain to you how and why your internal system is set up the way it is.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Patagonia

when I usually shut down & build higher walls when I see her?

You must out. Dreams, different parts. . . your unconscious/healthy part will keep trying to help you. Shutting down and building walls is not good for you. If you work on that with your T/in therapy, your part(s) won't have to email. Be glad there are parts of you trying to help you.

[pegasus]

Progress!! This is progress. That other part trusts your T enough and now you can start to move forward and learn about all of you. Getting that dialogue going! Hugs

[Atypical_Disaster]

We get angry at each other too. Hell, someone's probably angry at me for replying to a post in this particular forum because we usually try to hide the fact that we're more than one. It's normal, though I'm sorry this is happening because it sounds really frustrating and maybe even a bit scary for you.