Through my teenage years I was sexually/gender confused over the previous 12 years not knowing who I am. Even today I feel transgendered...only when I'm in control even though I've been the most active alter up front through the years.

It's so hard accepting that things are all so wrong. It's a me thing, I can't speak for the others. My head hurts.

Lol. That's such a one sided view. With outbursts like that, Yep, it ain't hard to go wtf. Bang bang your dead man don't listen to her because she's blank. I know who the hell I am. Signing off...lol

I'm sorry. That was quite abrupt. Lol. He's just funny. Where was I? I'm not who I am that I want to be because I'm not he or me. I'm so in limbo. I've been here for a million of years.

Possible trigger:

Do you ever feel like dying to just start over? I think of it often because this version ov life sux.

It's not fair, to be robbed from birth then stigma'd and misunderstood for the rest of your life. I thought bipolar was doable, but this takes the cake to have the granddaddy of all mental illnesses, IMHO.

I must be a good actor to hide it all these years, and I suck at acting. No Oscar awards here!

As you can tell I guess, I'm sorta not bashful, sorta!

So sadd. I don't know who to hate. Angry Man is an easy call but the others are quite cute. It so hard to hate when they're so great.

[TheFuZZieONE]

I'm reading this book that says in the path towards healing you must learn to love even your most evil alters, because they are actually a piece of you that needs love the most. It sounds hard, but I'm trying hard to do just that and love my sinister alter ego.

I just get lost on who I really am, I'm always changing, so nailing down "me" isn't easy. My interests change, so does my energy, attitude, self image,....all the stuff that goes with it. I contradict myself in the same day, so says my family. It's just pure confusion.

I'm an enigma.

But a least we have direction. Whatever it takes to get there!