Low self esteem and identity confusion

All our life we we had very low self esteem because we always felt weird- finally figured that it's a body thing.

We even suffered through identity crisis several times. Even today it's confusing as to who I really am since we are tired of denying the truth.

I'm me then I'm not. Then I am then I'm not.

I can't see a future.

Anyone has words of encouragement? It's feeding into my depression. Not a bipolar depression, but a fer real life depression.

i am going to try to share my experiences since i am not sure if it's similar to how you feel..but my whole life i have felt like an outsider, different from others, etc.

as i got older and became a little more aware of things, some of it got worse including not knowing who i am at times, what i want for my life, etc. i have never had the ability to see a future when i think what i want which many people seem to be able to do. i have never thought 'i want to get married or have kids' and never have seen in my mind being in those situations even though part of me would love to have those opportunities if possible.

as a result of that, it also has meant low self esteem, doubting and questioning myself, reality, people, etc. i also cannot seem to make many goals, short term or long term. i am not sure why. it just has always been like that for me.

i really have to take it day by day and try to find small things that can help me through things whether it's art, a pet, etc. and practice a lot of self care so i can distract instead of ruminating about certain things since once that starts, it can make that circle of thoughts spiral into depression..but i know it's not always possible to stop those things before they start.

not sure how helpful any of this, but you are not alone in not knowing who you are, etc.

Thank you. I just need an understanding soul. I'm alone, seperated and married but yet single all by myself, again.

I'm like really wondering why?

I can't see pass tomorrow.

It's just so hard staying focused.

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. It happens to the best of us, DID, bipolar or not. A word of advice I heard about getting through depression is to not fight it, but don't give in to it either. Set aside a time, let's say an hour every day to cry and feel sorry for yourself. When that hour is up, you stop crying and get on with your life. Save the depressed feelings for the next time you put depression on your schedule. It may or may not help, but that's some of the most unique advice I've gotten, and it kind of works for me. Simply just trying to cheer up rarely works, so this plan lets you do both. The good thing about DID is the sort of behavior that allows us to switch on and off our emotions is engrained in us already ;-)

Hope you're feeling better soon Alwayschanging2 ☺️