Issue with accepting reality - is this dissociation or something else?

That was a nice explanation btw, I'd just add that what changed for me when I was in psychotic states was that I also would misinterpret connections between things, seeing actually non existent connections. And then believing in that and hence delusions. Stories in my head were also popping up overlaying events as a form of interpretation of the events and I did think the stories were real. Also seeing some objects a bit distorted due to wrong interpretation of them. My memory got ****ed up too, forgetting who the person next to me was, interpreting their identity wrong. Delusional connections about that too. Overall my mind was willing to forget its previous worldview and update it way too easily with weird delusional ****. Once my logic could no longer keep up with shooting down the incorrect assumptions, I got fully disconnected from reality.

The fun thing is that by default I do not see any stories running in my head about events. By default I just see things as they are, via my five senses, no more, no less. So that was like, completely new, lol. Your internal world sounds neat btw! I don't have anything like that either by default.

I have no internal world...just blackness that everything emerges from. It actually very well depicts my entire youth. Always aware but from no where emerges the one that has to be.

Amandalouise,
that was very helpful.