[flockpride]

This is problematic. Does anyone have strategies for managing parts of different genders and orientations? It's so frustrating to not be able to say "I'm thus and such." Like I'm a straight woman or I'm a gay man. Your physical body is one thing, but then inside there are other things. How do you handle that in relationships?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by flockpride

This is problematic. Does anyone have strategies for managing parts of different genders and orientations? It's so frustrating to not be able to say "I'm thus and such." Like I'm a straight woman or I'm a gay man. Your physical body is one thing, but then inside there are other things. How do you handle that in relationships?

my parents and I never labeled me even though at a very young age (three) we knew I was a lesbian. I always gravitated towards women for crushes, love, attractions. i did have alters of other sexual orientations and alters who gravitated to other sexual activities then I was. But my treatment provider after I was diagnosed told me not to worry about that. Each alter had their own jobs, purposes reasons for being created including how and why they each had their own sexual orientation/sexual preferences. Because it was just part of their job, purpose reason for being created there was nothing for me to do, when each alter was in control thats how they identified their self.

example when talking about intimacy with my friends I talked about it from my own point of view (being a lesbian) when my alters were in control they talked about intimacy with friends from their point of view. No one thought it was strange for me to be like this because its how I always was from the moment of that first alters creation.

for me there was no questioning which i should call myself because my having DID wasnt a sharing of everything with my alters. they all had their own way of being, their own jobs purposes, reasons for being. therefore for example in therapy when talking about this it was.. I (amanda) was a lesbain, Trixie was Bi and into all kinds of stuff, Thelma was heterosexual,

once we were all integrated it was a bit confusing to be thinking gosh that guy has a good .... or I want....(an intimate activity I as non integrated would not have wanted/craved/needed) but again my sexual orientation remained the same I was a lesbian and preferred intimacy with women.

my wife and i handled this after integration conflict by experimenting and keeping what worked and left out what didnt, just like any other normal person does.

my suggestion is dont worry about what to "call or Label" yourself. you are who and what you are and your alters are who and what they are. Whether you call your self gay, lesbian, heterosexual, bi, or what ever the orientations are with in you, it doesnt change the fact that you are who and what you are and they are who and what they are.

I don't have relationships, and I 'rub out' anything gender related in everyone I meet! I've just blocked all that stuff out completely - and wouldn't have it any other way!