[confusedandstrange]

Hi, so I have social anxiety and depression, but sometimes I feel like I might have a dissociation or personality disorder of some kind. I often randomly feel ‘out of it’, or just like empty. I feel like I’m not actually there, like I am in my body, but someone else is actually talking or moving, etc. Sometimes it feel like I am just trapped inside my body while the world goes on around me, or like I will look in the mirror and it doesn’t feel like it’s me, I look at myself and feel like I’m looking at a stranger. I don’t know what this is or means. If anyone has had this or knows what it might be, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Thanks

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by confusedandstrange

Hi, so I have social anxiety and depression, but sometimes I feel like I might have a dissociation or personality disorder of some kind. I often randomly feel ‘out of it’, or just like empty. I feel like I’m not actually there, like I am in my body, but someone else is actually talking or moving, etc. Sometimes it feel like I am just trapped inside my body while the world goes on around me, or like I will look in the mirror and it doesn’t feel like it’s me, I look at myself and feel like I’m looking at a stranger. I don’t know what this is or means. If anyone has had this or knows what it might be, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Thanks

I dont know about canada (your location) but here in america dissociative disorders and personality disorders are completely different categories and have different diagnostic criteria...for example DID is no longer a personality disorder here in America.

here in America there are now many different personality disorders and many different dissociative disorders (the dissociative disorders are listed in my signature line)

the personality disorders here in america are...
borderline personality disorder
paranoid personality disorder
schizoid personality disorder
schizotypal personality disorder
anti-social personality disorder
hysterionic personality disorder
narcissistic personality disorder
avoidant personality disorder
dependant personality disorder
Obcessive Compulsive personality disorder
Other Specified Personality disorder
Unspecified Personality disorder
Personality change due to another medical condition

each one of these has their own and shared symptoms. Im not sure because I dont have my DSM handy but if I remember correctly some of these personality disorders do contain the symptoms you wrote about in your post.

so now you see why i always include in my posts a statement of only your own treatment providers can tell you what this problem is with in you. trying to figure this thing out is very complicated.

in general I can tell you something that jumps out at me in your post....you use the word "random"

here in my location dissociation is not a random thing, its a reaction to a definite trigger....

example if i am near a bumble bee or notice one near me I have my dissociation symptoms....feeling numb, disconnected and like Im just moving too slow. everyone around me is either moving too slow or too fast and far away from me. (trigger is the bumble bee and the dissociation is the reaction)

in my location there is always a trigger that makes the reaction (dissociation) never random (for no reason) sometimes it a bit hard to find out what the trigger is but there is always a negative or positive trigger. people of the scientific mind put it another way..... for every cause there is an effect and for every effect there is a cause.

only you and your treatment providers can say whether this is a personality disorder or a dissociative problem with or with out your already existing mental disorders and medications.

my suggestion is if this continues to bother you to contact your treatment providers, they will be able to assess and diagnose where we are not able to do that here, and then they can tell you what to do to help yourself feel better and prevent this from happening again.

Well c$s, I can rightly say they sound familiar. You a therapist to talk too?

[confusedandstrange]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Well c$s, I can rightly say they sound familiar. You a therapist to talk too?

No I don't right now, I used too, but it caused me too much anxiety to even go there and I would hardly talk anyways. I do go to a psychiatrist every few months to check up on my meds though.

Yeah, mine too. Pdoc is just a med dispenser. Tell you what, anxiety causes me to dissociate also. I can't talk to more than 2 people in a group....maybe. Even one on one with a stranger is hard enough. I get triggered all sorts of ways.

Do you hear voices in your head that ain't your own? If you can call it that.

[confusedandstrange]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Yeah, mine too. Pdoc is just a med dispenser. Tell you what, anxiety causes me to dissociate also. I can't talk to more than 2 people in a group....maybe. Even one on one with a stranger is hard enough. I get triggered all sorts of ways.

Do you hear voices in your head that ain't your own? If you can call it that.

I don't really know. Sometimes I will be doing something and I'll randomly think of something, but it isn't something that I would normally think of you know? Like I will be in my kitchen and cutting up veggies or something and all of a sudden will think, like 'you should stab the dog'. This has happened a few times and it really scared me. I mean, I am not really a violent person, but sometimes I feel like I need to hurt something. It's strange because it feels like it's me, but at the same time it feels like someone else. And I really don't want to hurt anyone, but sometimes I kinda want to. I usually just end up self harming instead. You know, to get my feeling out I guess.

Poor dog. Sounds like command voices, you know, the kind that demand you to do things. Like "answer the door!" Not knowing a thing about you and being myself nutz, it kinda sounds like a type of skitzoaffective, bipolar, audio hallucination type stuff.

Do you have a diagnosis?

But under great anxiety I do dissociate, DP or DR or sit at the back of my head watching as I babble stuff, what I don't know. I don't even know if it makes sense.

I usually have to ask "what did I say? Or I didn't say something stupid??" Lol

At work, back later

[confusedandstrange]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Poor dog. Sounds like command voices, you know, the kind that demand you to do things. Like "answer the door!" Not knowing a thing about you and being myself nutz, it kinda sounds like a type of skitzoaffective, bipolar, audio hallucination type stuff.

Do you have a diagnosis?

But under great anxiety I do dissociate, DP or DR or sit at the back of my head watching as I babble stuff, what I don't know. I don't even know if it makes sense.

I usually have to ask "what did I say? Or I didn't say something stupid??" Lol

At work, back later

I am officially diagnosed with depression, social anxiety/phobia, and adjustment disorder. Although sometimes I wonder if it might be something like schizoaffective disorder because of somethings I have been experiences. Like I was reading up on it and some things it said might be hallucinations are smells and I keep smelling this weird sort of burnt smell and I have asked others if they smell it too, but they never do.
I also feel like it might be sort of bipolar stuff too (like you said), because some days I have like no anxiety am all happy and good and then other days I am completely filled with anxiety and depression. The happy and not anxious days usually doesn't last very long, so I mean could be like hypomania, but I honestly have no idea and I don't want to self diagnose or anything because that's bad, but I can't talk about these things with my doctor. It gives me WAY to much anxiety and I really can't handle that. I just want to know.

Originally Posted by confusedandstrange

I am officially diagnosed with depression, social anxiety/phobia, and adjustment disorder. Although sometimes I wonder if it might be something like schizoaffective disorder because of somethings I have been experiences. Like I was reading up on it and some things it said might be hallucinations are smells and I keep smelling this weird sort of burnt smell and I have asked others if they smell it too, but they never do.
I also feel like it might be sort of bipolar stuff too (like you said), because some days I have like no anxiety am all happy and good and then other days I am completely filled with anxiety and depression. The happy and not anxious days usually doesn't last very long, so I mean could be like hypomania, but I honestly have no idea and I don't want to self diagnose or anything because that's bad, but I can't talk about these things with my doctor. It gives me WAY to much anxiety and I really can't handle that. I just want to know.

Here's an idea....copy your posts and give it to them. Or even better, email it if you can. It's better to get the ball rolling then living with it. Just that first step...

A lot of it sounds familiar. I was talking to skitzophrenics in the hospital and they said they hear command voices in and out of their heads. The voices I hear are my others jabbering away about things or intelligently communicating with me- we talk.

I hope that you find your answers. For me, I have to know someone well before I open up, but lately I've been getting daring and just blurting things out to get it over with with a professional - not just anybody.

[confusedandstrange]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Here's an idea....copy your posts and give it to them. Or even better, email it if you can. It's better to get the ball rolling then living with it. Just that first step...

A lot of it sounds familiar. I was talking to skitzophrenics in the hospital and they said they hear command voices in and out of their heads. The voices I hear are my others jabbering away about things or intelligently communicating with me- we talk.

I hope that you find your answers. For me, I have to know someone well before I open up, but lately I've been getting daring and just blurting things out to get it over with with a professional - not just anybody.

Good idea, I might try that, Thanks for the suggestions

[finding_my_way]

you would definitely be best talking to a professional.

some things that kind of jumped out at me were if you have anxiety, some things can be on the OCD spectrum including smelling things and also having random thoughts to harm others/animals, etc. but not having the intent to do it...and it can cause immense anxiety, etc. i say that because those are two things i had both as a young child and a teen/young adult intermittently.

i also have trauma issues and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (which i've never agreed with), dissociation (not specified yet, but DID was mentioned at one point) and OCD. although, within all that, there is also depression, anxiety of various types, etc.

i have also experienced derealization and depersonalization which could also be what it sounds like you experience with the dissociation. sometimes, anxiety/panic can cause those issues too.

there are all kinds of overlapping things, so figuring it out really needs to be done with a professional so they can appropriately treat you and help you.

[confusedandstrange]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

you would definitely be best talking to a professional.

some things that kind of jumped out at me were if you have anxiety, some things can be on the OCD spectrum including smelling things and also having random thoughts to harm others/animals, etc. but not having the intent to do it...and it can cause immense anxiety, etc. i say that because those are two things i had both as a young child and a teen/young adult intermittently.

i also have trauma issues and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (which i've never agreed with), dissociation (not specified yet, but DID was mentioned at one point) and OCD. although, within all that, there is also depression, anxiety of various types, etc.

i have also experienced derealization and depersonalization which could also be what it sounds like you experience with the dissociation. sometimes, anxiety/panic can cause those issues too.

there are all kinds of overlapping things, so figuring it out really needs to be done with a professional so they can appropriately treat you and help you.

Thanks for your insight, I didn't know that my symptoms could come from all these different things.

[confusedandstrange]

Just to be clear, I don't actually WANT to hurt anyone or my dog, but sometimes I feel like I should/could, I guess. That's kinda confusing but I just wanted to say that I love him so much and would never want to hurt him. The thoughts just come to my mind sometimes, and it scares me to think that I would ever do anything like that, or even think about it, but yeah. I love my dog.