I hope to not confuse when I talk about my crazy system like how I do. I get carried away like I was my own pet rock sometimes, maybe coming across as too excited about it? I'm a discoverer at heart....I should of gotten into paleontology or a science...that's where we thrive.

I totally understand the level of grief wrought on with such a diagnosis. The excruciating amount of trauma experienced to produce such a horrendous condition. The pain, guilt, and unfairness of it all, being a living oddity and publicly rejected... misunderstood, a lonely class all by ourselves amongst friends, relatives, and even our peers.

It's just totally not fair...we didn't do this to ourselves, why me??? I get that and I understand it, too. Those feelings are buried deep in an other and not allowed to present again in us. They had their moments, and I'm sure to resurface, too.

I really don't know what I'm saying....sorry if I offend you? We have learned to bury our feelings and not let them surface, to turn off that part of ourselves because we autonomously can. It's more of a curse then a blessing, much very less human than an android.

I guess it helps for me to accept that I'm not greater than my parts, that I'm just an other as they are, that we all equal a whole. This concept has taken the sting out of "why me?", as if it was a personal affront on me only. We survived.

I have read about others that do function and are the same as my system elsewhere, so I'm not so unique in my perception of ourselves. Life just bent and twisted us this way and that with our core characteristics still shining through. I definetly am not the person that I was meant to be which is the greatest shame of it all, robbed of being who we are really supposed to be am.

I just wish to be helpful, informative, relateable, sympathetic, comforting, compassionate, unselfish, you know....all the good stuff. I guess I'm trying to make up for some of the others because different parts know how to type, also.

Thanks for letting me say!

you don't need to apologize

it's what this forum's for.. to discuss things and share feelings

I know.....I felt compelled to write that..only God knows why we do what we do when we do it...

I've been accused of being too much at times and over the top and inappropriate this and that in the past....

It's like a complex or something.

[Fuzzybear]