WTF happened

I totally been freaking out this entire week worrying about my son. So much so that my son didn't want to talk to me and blocked me from all social media. I was hysterical crying concerned that my son was going to hurt himself even though he said he wasn't. There was nothing that would convince me. I almost had a crash team sent to his house until my sister went over and talked with him. He was fine. My sister called me while she was there and my son was fine. Sounded just like he always has. I was crying again, crying when he told me he loved me, crying when I hung up the phone and than I was numb. Not happy or sad just numb. It is nothing I have ever experienced before. I just flipped out, convinced myself he was going to hurt himself and acted ****ing nuts. Even now I can feel what ever that is in the pit of my stomach but I am not going to let myself get in that place again. Maybe it is a mix of new med for my hbp. I don't know but I was out of my mind and absolutely terrified by the thought of losing my son. And I still don't know why or what happened. Just sharing this brings on that darkness that I was in. Not going to think about it again.

Hugs!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That sounds really scary Could you be re-experiencing something from your past? I hope you feel better soon

I don't know. All I know is that that feeling is still lurking inside. But I am not going back there. I am not allowing to fall into the fear and compulsive thinking I went through even if it could be true. If I allow myself to believe it is true I will be nuts again.