short question...

does dissociation affect how one would describe their symptoms...?
because i never seem to get it right.... and now i have no clue what i said

not as far as I know. most people i know including me here, describe their dissociation as things like numb, spaced out, disconnected.

sometimes people have different or made up terms for example a friends child calls it harry potters cloak must be on her hand because she cant feel it (meaning her hand feels numb to her)

when I think about things like what I am feeling I just use the words that happen to fit. if I cant feel, I say I feel numb or cant feel anything. if my head is foggy or clouded I say I feel foggy or clouded.

my suggestion just use what ever words that you usually use. there is no right or wrong way to say how you are feeling. feelings just are. but if you want there are many feelings lists that may help you to describe how you are feeling.

another suggestion talk with your treatment provider. they will be able to help you to communicate your feelings in a way that is best for you.

The other day you posted your IQ results and it said you might have a cognitive / processing issue. I'm not sure if those were the exact words, but something like that could explain what you are describing.

yeah it says high level cognitive organization problem and high level attention concern...
that was on bushcke selective reminding test...

it just seems like i have sectioned off large pieces of my mind... and its affecting me cognitively...

its just seems like dissociation but i cant really understand it because i have always felt like this... just thought it was normal feeling...
but i have never talked to a doctor about it yet... and cant just self diagnose...

i just always feel like im dreaming, disconnected... detached... a spectator of my own life... i want to change things and get better bbut my body does other things...
or some part of me... i dunno...
its just a scary thing not remembering things and forgetting like everything...

i think i read somewhere that some patients with dissociative disorders dont recognize it..? like me just always feeling this way; thinking its how everyone see's the world?

i just want to gain as much insight as i can... i wanna take control and make a good life for myself somewhere i can be healthy and try to be happy...
but my mind is an evil bastard... or my body is... i dunno...



im falling apart

and these specific symptoms seem to be interfering with how i relay what i feel ... and what not... my demeanor changes and its hard to see anything wrong with me on the outside... because i always hide everything so much its not easy to bring things up and talk about things... because its just my subconscious reaction.. to withdraw and say i am fine... or undermine the symptoms severity... or things like that...
because i honestly am not sure how i feel anymore... i just feel crazy...
i just disconnect and i feel like i just dunno... i always try.. but i never explain it the right way because i lose control...

edit:
and i keep getting these "popping" sensations.. not a sound.. but it just feels like im falling out of my body but it pops right back in place... like im going to faint or something... and then im awakened with a jolt through my whole body..

in me that "popping" sensation turned out to be a neurological problem called fibromyalgia and MS (multiple Sclerosis) short version it was how my nerves and brain were receiving and sending their signals at different rates due to nerve injury and nerve stress, causing things like high and low blood pressure, odd pains, numbness, spaciness....I am on medication now for both problems which has made the "Popping" stop. my point please let your treatment providers know about this so that if there is a physical reason you can get treated for it before it gets worse.

Also there is a falling asleep problem where sometimes people who fall asleep get popping or a noise in their head and get jolted back awake. a sleep study can tell you if you have this problem. in rare cases this can happen to people when they dissociate because their brains physically interpret the signals as if the person is falling asleep. just something to check on. theres no treatment that I know of for it other than making sure you have a good sleep schedule and limit the caffeine during the day so that the brain understands when its sleep time and awake time. just another idea to check on that may help.

thanks... i've had ample time to contemplate these things...
i just have to try to be patient till i can get back with a doctor...
i still refuse to go back to the old pdoc though... he doesnt like me i guess...
maybe they get upset because i can be smarter than them sometimes
but my GP doesn't really know anything about mental health i think.. she is youngish, cant be too much older than me even..
so she doesnt really want to just give me meds, but is there anyway i can get like a consultation with a pdoc that can make reccomendation to my GP on what to prescribe till i can get in with a pdoc full time?
i just cant afford it right now... no insurance or income

im going to look into those things you mentioned, i've always been scared that there is something really wrong with me physically...

those sensations dont happen all the time, it just happens enough for me to realize it.. like when im on the verge of panicking... which i avoid pretty much everything to stay away from any possible triggers... but apparently i trigger myself alot...

my blood pressure has been elevated here and there when i go to docs... like last week i went and my blood pressure was 153/103.. i dunno much about those numbers but the nurse wanted to know why it was so high, i told her i guess my anxiety i dunno..
but i just start feeling more disconnected than panicky ultimately... like it went from panic attack to sleep walking mode

i guess i'll be fine, i just hate not remembering stuff... i think i read somewhere on the internet that my scores meant that my working memory was not really working so well

which sucks because im supposed to be super smart, i just forget everything...
my brain is weary

edit:
oh and i was looking up more stuff lsat night, and that popping sensation feels like a heart palpitation or murmur..

Yes, define dissociation then yea it can, maybe if you write, it down that is okay....If you have alters, that can severely hamper you socially with telling the t/pdoc symptoms etc, because they like to scramble around sentences, sentences make sense, but it does hamper your memory of what is happening....We all have busy lives so focusing on yourself 100% isn't what most people can do, it takes time and work....I think it is okay to write it down, so you don't pressure yourself with trying get to it all in...That is why lots of T helps with mastering this challenge, but also remember safety is first.....Then add on top of the that, environmental cues etc it can be a lot to forget . Do the best you can I think sooner or later everything will be know that is why T is suggested for at least 5-7 years if not longer if you have DID, I don't think that is limited to DID

Hello.

I am no doc but I lived with DID with many years before getting into therapy.
I think of dissociation as being a stress threat reaction which results in a person unconsciously removing himself/herself from the attached feelings and memories of the expereince.
As a result of this, dissociation is a scattering of time, expereinces, feelings, and memory and this affects all aspects of a persons life. Communicating what this is like can be very difficult because the dissociation itself makes putting the right words together hard.

sometimes it helps to write things down and keep this to give the doc.
take care now.