[peaches100]

This is a continuation of my earlier post. Here are more things that confuse me:

I say I will do something and forget it less than 5 minutes later.

I think I am handling things well emotionally and feeling fine, and the next minute, something triggers me and I start crying.

My husband says "I can tell something is bothering you," but I don't think anything is. Then shortly afterward, I have a meltdown of some kind.

My therapist will ask me a question, and when I answer it with what I believe is a truthful answer, I can see in her face that she doubts what I've said, or she she will ask, "Are you sure?"

Most times, I feel like a totally capable adult, but when something triggers me, I become like a terrified, anxious, or needy little girl. Later, I go back to feeling like my normal self and can't figure out why I acted that way, and feel guilty because it doesn't seem like me at all.

Constantly dream about being lost, separated from my family, or dream that I wake up somewhere and don't know how I got there. Or dream that I'm suddenly naked and don't know how it happened, or dream that somebody tells me I've done something horrible that I don't remember doing...

My t has told me at different times that I have talked in a different voice, or have switched, or has said things like, "Who just took over?" or "What do you think would have happened if you had let (my name) stay in the room?" or has asked to talk to parts of me that feel like small children.

So far, my t has only said I have C-PTSD, not DID. But sometimes I worry that I do, even though I don't "lose time," other than kind of spacing out at times. (I don't end up somewhere and not know where I am - only in my dreams).

[TrailRunner14]

I say I will do something and forget it less than 5 minutes later.

This happens to me when I am triggered and not feeling all there. During my session time, I have made notes about what we have just talked about, so I can remember them. Sometimes/ most times my counselor has helped me remember, and we have just discussed them. It feels like there are too many things going on in my mind to pull those particular points out, if that makes any sense.

I think I am handling things well emotionally and feeling fine, and the next minute, something triggers me and I start crying.

Recently, I have felt that everything was going well and this anxiousness seems to seep in, for no reason. It kind of silently peaks and then fades away. I'm having issues with tears right now. It would probably help if I did cry.

My husband says "I can tell something is bothering you," but I don't think anything is. Then shortly afterward, I have a meltdown of some kind.

My husband can tell when something is going on, either me feeling distant/dreamy or I'm trying to sort things out in my mind. He doesn't understand when I try and explain to him what's going on, or what's triggered me. Usually, he takes it like I'm trying to say something is his fault and then it's not pretty and he's the one that has the meltdown directed at me. Better in my opinion, to keep it to myself

My experiences are not exactly like yours but similar.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by peaches100

This is a continuation of my earlier post. Here are more things that confuse me:

I say I will do something and forget it less than 5 minutes later.

I think I am handling things well emotionally and feeling fine, and the next minute, something triggers me and I start crying.

My husband says "I can tell something is bothering you," but I don't think anything is. Then shortly afterward, I have a meltdown of some kind.

My therapist will ask me a question, and when I answer it with what I believe is a truthful answer, I can see in her face that she doubts what I've said, or she she will ask, "Are you sure?"

Most times, I feel like a totally capable adult, but when something triggers me, I become like a terrified, anxious, or needy little girl. Later, I go back to feeling like my normal self and can't figure out why I acted that way, and feel guilty because it doesn't seem like me at all.

Constantly dream about being lost, separated from my family, or dream that I wake up somewhere and don't know how I got there. Or dream that I'm suddenly naked and don't know how it happened, or dream that somebody tells me I've done something horrible that I don't remember doing...

My t has told me at different times that I have talked in a different voice, or have switched, or has said things like, "Who just took over?" or "What do you think would have happened if you had let (my name) stay in the room?" or has asked to talk to parts of me that feel like small children.

So far, my t has only said I have C-PTSD, not DID. But sometimes I worry that I do, even though I don't "lose time," other than kind of spacing out at times. (I don't end up somewhere and not know where I am - only in my dreams).

your diagnosis...C-PTSD (can I correctly assume you are located outside the USA? if not a suggestion. if you are located here in the USA you might want to consider updating your diagnosis's. here we no longer have a diagnosis called CPTSD. there are many new mental disorders that now take the place of this and also the general label of PTSD also covers this now. the result more treatment options are now available for what used to be called CPTSD)

the crying out of nowhere... or when triggered is not always associated with DID or dissociative disorders. sometimes people who are highly sensitive will show extreme emotions at times. sometimes crying out of nowhere or because of being triggered can also be age related like menopause, puberty, that time of the month...

I had to laugh when I read the part of the therapist asking are you sure. not laughing at you. at me. it used to bother me and make me think it was a dissociative thing when my therapist asked me that. finally one day I asked her why she keeps questioning me like that. she said because I did not sound sure of myself and my answer so she was just asking for clarification as to whether I was sure about what I was saying. kind of like in general you ask a friend if they want tea, water , milk or coffee and they answer with coffee? and you get that impulse to say is that a yes you want coffee or a no you dont want coffee. its all in the tone and body language with treatment providers. if I answered in a way that sounded like I was questioning what I was talking about my treatment provider would say are you sure. after that I was much more mindful whether or not i was sure about something I was talking about and very clearly letting my therapist know what I was talking about. my point maybe your treatment provider like mine just needs a bit of clarification from you when she is asking if you are sure.

the needy little girl really resonates with me at the moment but its not a dissociative thing. My work schedule as been erratic this week, just when I think I can settle in and have family time the phone rings. so when I do get that down time Im like a needy little girl wanting my wife to take care of me rather than me take care of things. luckily my wife is very understanding and doesnt mind a bit of letting me be the less responsible, and needy little girl at times. I asked a friend who was non mental disordered if she has those times and she said "oh gosh yes, I cant count how many times I will just have a weekend for eating ice cream, watching cartoons, curl up with a blanket and just be that needy little girl" my point everyone has those times. there is even a therapy approach built around this called the child with in.

I think what Im trying to say is to not let all these wonderings derail you and cause you anxiety on whether or not you have DID. just go according to what ever your treatment providers have diagnosed you as. there are many different things what you posted can be and only your treatment providers can say whats what for you.