[yagr]

There is an old saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Throughout my early life I held out hope that the saying was literal; that some day my path would cross with a spiritual master who would lead me to a bliss that would transcend the pain of my childhood. Even as a deeper understanding of the message behind the saying became clear, I would brush it aside, unwilling to abandon hope of a real person who would come and save me. Many decades later, I accepted the truth, that all things can teach the one who is ready to learn.

It is in this way that I came to discover my dissociative disorder as one of my greatest, and eventually one of my most beloved of teachers. Unlike many people, I only have one alter. In our early years we fought for control, we sabotaged each other, and we alternated between protector and abuser. That relationship changed when I was twenty-seven, nearly half my life ago. Since then we have learned to work together, respect each other, and eventually love one another in a way that has redefined what love is for both of us. It was here that the learning began.

Our spirituality is of paramount importance to both of us. We are not religious, though we have found our truth in the midst of many of the worlds religions. The foundation of our belief is that all living creatures are one. How much clearer have I been blessed with being able to see this than a singleton! Sonseearae and I are one. Our separate natures are an illusion. There are many who share my belief, but they do not have the omnipresent gift of seeing the connection the way that we do. Dissociation has shown us how more than one can be one in a way that few will ever truly understand.

Next, by learning how to coexist peacefully and lovingly, I learned how to be a good husband to my wife. When we married, we two became as one. Learning how to live with an alter taught me that cooperation works and control doesn't. I've learned that it is my gift to be allowed to walk beside her on her journey, not to choose her path. I've learned that her having different beliefs and truths do not diminish my own. I can support her without agreeing, protect without smothering, love without expectations or demands.

The price I paid in acquiring a dissociative disorder was high, but at this stage of my life it is beginning to look like a bargain.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by yagr

There is an old saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Throughout my early life I held out hope that the saying was literal; that some day my path would cross with a spiritual master who would lead me to a bliss that would transcend the pain of my childhood. Even as a deeper understanding of the message behind the saying became clear, I would brush it aside, unwilling to abandon hope of a real person who would come and save me. Many decades later, I accepted the truth, that all things can teach the one who is ready to learn.

It is in this way that I came to discover my dissociative disorder as one of my greatest, and eventually one of my most beloved of teachers. Unlike many people, I only have one alter. In our early years we fought for control, we sabotaged each other, and we alternated between protector and abuser. That relationship changed when I was twenty-seven, nearly half my life ago. Since then we have learned to work together, respect each other, and eventually love one another in a way that has redefined what love is for both of us. It was here that the learning began.

Our spirituality is of paramount importance to both of us. We are not religious, though we have found our truth in the midst of many of the worlds religions. The foundation of our belief is that all living creatures are one. How much clearer have I been blessed with being able to see this than a singleton! Sonseearae and I are one. Our separate natures are an illusion. There are many who share my belief, but they do not have the omnipresent gift of seeing the connection the way that we do. Dissociation has shown us how more than one can be one in a way that few will ever truly understand.

Next, by learning how to coexist peacefully and lovingly, I learned how to be a good husband to my wife. When we married, we two became as one. Learning how to live with an alter taught me that cooperation works and control doesn't. I've learned that it is my gift to be allowed to walk beside her on her journey, not to choose her path. I've learned that her having different beliefs and truths do not diminish my own. I can support her without agreeing, protect without smothering, love without expectations or demands.

The price I paid in acquiring a dissociative disorder was high, but at this stage of my life it is beginning to look like a bargain.

I love reading these up beat positive side of things. so happy for you that you were able to come out on top.

for me there is still too much clinical distress in my life to see the positive side of dissociation. for me dissociation just represents clinical distress like feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected from myself and my environment. (which is why I am still diagnosed with dissociative disorders...one of the criteria for dissociative disorders is the problem causing clinical distress in me)

I recognized your user name. I went back to see if you were able to get through your testing for OSDD and how that went for you. but didnt see any update on this....based on this positive posting can I correctly assume your problems that led to having to go through the testing have now all cleared up\ been taken care of or are you still going through the testing process for OSDD?

[yagr]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I recognized your user name. I went back to see if you were able to get through your testing for OSDD and how that went for you. but didnt see any update on this....based on this positive posting can I correctly assume your problems that led to having to go through the testing have now all cleared up\ been taken care of or are you still going through the testing process for OSDD?

Hi amandalouise. Well, it is complicated...as is often the case.

I am scheduled for more evaluation and testing but yes, do have a 'working' diagnosis of OSDD as of now.