[lucidity11]

Something happened in my head the other day. I was very angered by someone I love but no longer trust. the parts of me who have kept me involved in watching out for this person were struggling with the justified anger and feeling of hurt from other parts. I felt a shift in my brain. It felt like two blocks from a puzzle were coming together. It is not complete but it's there. Not to return to how it used to be. I never felt this before. Part of me thinks it is a move toward being more one minded. Not sure.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

Something happened in my head the other day. I was very angered by someone I love but no longer trust. the parts of me who have kept me involved in watching out for this person were struggling with the justified anger and feeling of hurt from other parts. I felt a shift in my brain. It felt like two blocks from a puzzle were coming together. It is not complete but it's there. Not to return to how it used to be. I never felt this before. Part of me thinks it is a move toward being more one minded. Not sure.

yea that is a strange thing. if this is what integration is for you thats really great progress because it means you will soon no longer be DID. you may still have dissociative problems in general but if this is integration it means you will no longer have such a hard time in life. so happy for you...

for me and those I know who have had alters merge together to become one it wasnt like this.... there was no pain, no one died, no physical or mental sensations. it was more a thought process..a just knowing things that I have never known before, being able to feel emotions that I have never felt before, being able to fully enjoy life and those around me all on my own.

example think about a time when you are sitting with a friend and your friend says something that reminds you of something. thats what it was like for me and those i know. it was just a knowing that memory, or being able to have the feeling of anger where I had never been able to feel that before. someone would ask me where I got that hat and I could remember where I got that hat even though an alter had bought it before I had been integrated.

the times where there was actual physical feelings in my brain like two objects (blocks, bricks, hammering, smashing, quivering and other ways of describing the feeling )colliding, a headache or a thunder like noise, turned out to be MS (Multiple Sclerosis a medical condition where the lining\covering of nerves are eroding away )

I also know some people with migraines and Parkinson disease and cancers that have had this kind of feeling.

my suggestion is contact your treatment providers. they can get you set up for all the different exams and evaluations for all the different problems this can turn out to be. they can also tell you if your alters are becoming one.

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

yea that is a strange thing. if this is what integration is for you thats really great progress because it means you will soon no longer be DID. you may still have dissociative problems in general but if this is integration it means you will no longer have such a hard time in life. so happy for you...

for me and those I know who have had alters merge together to become one it wasnt like this.... there was no pain, no one died, no physical or mental sensations. it was more a thought process..a just knowing things that I have never known before, being able to feel emotions that I have never felt before, being able to fully enjoy life and those around me all on my own.

example think about a time when you are sitting with a friend and your friend says something that reminds you of something. thats what it was like for me and those i know. it was just a knowing that memory, or being able to have the feeling of anger where I had never been able to feel that before. someone would ask me where I got that hat and I could remember where I got that hat even though an alter had bought it before I had been integrated.

the times where there was actual physical feelings in my brain like two objects (blocks, bricks, hammering, smashing, quivering and other ways of describing the feeling )colliding, a headache or a thunder like noise, turned out to be MS (Multiple Sclerosis a medical condition where the lining\covering of nerves are eroding away )

I also know some people with migraines and Parkinson disease and cancers that have had this kind of feeling.

my suggestion is contact your treatment providers. they can get you set up for all the different exams and evaluations for all the different problems this can turn out to be. they can also tell you if your alters are becoming one.

Thank you for the encouragement. It may be a different experience for me because there is no one single self who has parts. At least not that we know. I am parts. each part doing something different allowing us to function as a whole most of the time. But there is no self for us to join. So maybe it will be parts who work on similar emotions and thoughts can meet and somehow fit together. Like building a core self. Maybe.

[kecanoe]

For me parts have merged together like you describe. Those parts now think, feel, react the same way. I am not totally integrated and I do not have the sense that the parts are uniting with a common core. It's like they are joining together like puzzle pieces, once together they stay that way, but there is still work to make it a whole picture

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by kecanoe

For me parts have merged together like you describe. Those parts now think, feel, react the same way. I am not totally integrated and I do not have the sense that the parts are uniting with a common core. It's like they are joining together like puzzle pieces, once together they stay that way, but there is still work to make it a whole picture

It's good to know that there is someone who has had a similar experience. Thanks